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Why...Please Don't Settle

Updated on August 11, 2008

Ladies I just feel it on my heart to talk about why we tend to sometimes look as relationships as game that has your life and well being at stake. Society bascially states that if you don't have a man in your life you aren't worth too much of anything. From that viewpoint its seems its ok to just have anyone in your life. That should not be the case...

Don't settle for less...

Hey I have been there looking for love in all the wrong places and those places lead me to men who didn't have my best interest in mind and they were not focused on the places that I needed to go. They took more than they ever offered and I allowed that to happen because hey I had someone in my life.

I cried some nights, worried would I ever have someone to call my own. It thought that I guess I would have to settle for either being single or either for a guy that really wasn't worth my time. I was about to settle for someone who said they wanted to marry me but was very controlling, demanding and wanted me to change who I was for his purpose.

But my momma did not raise a fool and through the grace of God I've been delievered from those relationship misshaps to a blessing of a Godly man that I have in my life today.

Please don't settle for someone that...

*You have to share...

When I say share please don't settle for a guy already in a relationship, marriage, etc. You are worth more than a percentage of someone's time. All in all this will lead to a lot of heartache, deception and paranoia. You are playing with too many lives when this happens. With a marriage the man and woman become one flesh, a marriage of 2 persons and God not another party who is not in that covenant. Any man is better than no man is such a lie and a deception from the enemy.

*Someone that is abusive...

I was in a relationship almost 2 years ago where the guy was verbally and emotionally abusive. At the time I was so broken down, and my self esteem was low that I thought that this was all I was worth. to have a guy like this was going to be my life sentence of manipulated submission and controlled deception. I told my friends that at this time if I was still with him I would be a shell of myself, morbidly obese, probably on my third child, brainwashed, depressed, downtrodden, with little to no self esteem, and spiritually comatose. Please ladies think more highly of yourself, you were brought into this world with a mind of your own and a purpose of your own don't sentence your self to life in a mental, physical prison just to have a male around.

*Someone who wants to change who you are...

Oh so he doesn't like your hair, he doesn't like how you dress, he doesn't like your skin tone, he doesn't like your size, he doesn't like your job, he doesn't like the car you drive or the place you stay. so question, why are still trying to be with him. Is it alright to be with someone who dosen't like who you are and who you will grow to be? I fought many times to try to be the girl I thought some guys wanted me to be, but I was fighting with myself because I was fighting who I really was. If the change he asks for is not the one to better you and who you are then question yourself why is he with you?

*Someone who does not share your same spiritual foundation...

In my experience I dated some guys that were in the church but were not spiritually grounded. There foundation was shaky so if I was to have a lifew with them our marriage would already have cracks and breaks. I was willing to settle for someone who at least stated they believed in God, but I knew that was not what I should have dealt with. If I wanted to be a powerful praying woman, with a powereful praying husand in which we would be a family defeating the powers of Satan, I couldn't settle for someone who was lukewarm, chilly or ice cold in their faith. Someone I would have to argue to go to church with me on Sundays, man that was not the life I was looking to lead.


Basically ladies, keep your head up and maintain your focus on fulfilling at what you are suppossed to do. I never thought that God would send me a wonderful man who loves me like Christ, its happened and it can happen for you.

Don't think I don't know the pain and hurt that comes with relationships, I do I just am tired of seeing women settle for less...


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