- Gender and Relationships
Why Can't I Get A Girlfriend?
The keys to the dating kingdom are within your grasp.
That has to be the most asked question I've ever faced. Every guy, at some point, wonders this very question.
Are you ugly?
Not dressing well enough?
The answer could be a yes to any of the above. Usually though, it's not. (If there is a yes up there, work on what you can change and accept what you can't.)
If you ask yourself those questions then you're already prepared for the answer. It's like the person that asks themselves if they're crazy. If you can ask yourself the question then you're not.
The things that most guys miss out on is the fact that they are not getting dates because of only two things:
- 1) Personality
- 2) Perseverance
These are the keys to getting dates.
Summed up we have:
Personality: how you act and react around people. Are you a good conversationalist and a great listener? Do you actively participate in conversations or do you attempt to "hog" conversations, butting in, not giving other participants time to talk? Do you try to change the subject? Do you interrupt?
Are you funny? Are you good humored? Can you make people laugh with you (not at you)?
Do you get upset easily and share your disappointment with anyone within earshot?
People like to be with other people that have a positive personality; people that have "active listening skills" (being able to ask intelligent questions about the subject being discussed, paying attention to the current speaker, and not trying to change the conversation or butt into the group of talkers). Do people naturally gravitate towards you because you are smiling, warm and friendly?
Perseverance: how are you with problems, turns of events, when things don't go your way? Do you get angry and give up or do you hunker down and find alternate solutions? Being able to find a girlfriend is all about taking rain on your parade and hoping for a rainbow. Sure, you'll get some rejection, that's life. But can you make the negative experience of a "No" turn into a learning experience and work towards the next girl's "Yes"?
Guy's feel that, when a girl says no, their life is over. Self-doubt creeps in, ruining all other aspects of their daily life. Miserable, that's what happens. And this negative emotion is so strong that people around you can feel it and are turned off by it/you. You must persevere, you must not only tell yourself, but believe, that this downturn of events is temporary, exceedingly temporary. There is another girl on the horizon, likely a more friendly, more compatible, more date-able girl coming up next.
You have the keys to the kingdom now:
The ball is in your court and here comes the ball-girl now... what will you do?
Here's the next move:
I look forward to your comments.