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Self-Love and Its Importance

Updated on January 31, 2012

Self Love and Priorities

Look it...I'm 22 about to be 23 in April of this year. I recently graduated from college, currently looking for a job at the moment (unless being a writer in itself eventually pays off but hey...) and I am single. I do have a few suitors that are interested, and I kinda had my eye on one for a while but it is one of those situations in which I can possibly have something with him. But either way I know I will be fine with or without him. I figure that 1. I still have time to look "for the one", 2. Where I am at this point of my life and 3. I'm in my early 20s for crying out loud! It is just something that has to be thought out when it comes to relationships.

The point is that I believe that everything in a person's life has to be together first, whether if it pertains to education, careers, finances, etc. Now, everyone has needs, especially me for companionship (someone to hold me, warm kisses, going out on a date, and you pretty much know the drill) as well as marriage. Romance is great to have in a relationship but in reality, there is a lot more to a relationship than romance. It's a broad range of components such as trust (a big one), honesty, understanding, how one spends money, common interests, common goals, communication and stability. The most important one of all, which does not deal with the other person is self-love.

It is important for a person to learn how to love oneself first before loving someone else. The problem often with people who do not learn to love themselves is that they often look for others to validate their existence or to help them escape from their own problems. What that does for the person who lacked a sense of self-love is that they often chose mates who are not suited for them. The mate may be a total douchebag or a b8@#h who treats them like you-know-what. And it is usually because that is how that person truly feels that way about themselves, like you-know-what. Don't get me wrong, everyone had their fair share of bad apples in life (myself included), but at the same time, I knew what is my worth was and I knew what I was willing to accept or not. Like the common saying goes, "If you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything."

The solution for self-love is a process in itself. Various people go though it in different stages. My tips are: 1. Figure out why do you want a boyfriend/girlfriend. Is it out of comfort? Insecurity of being alone? Just to say you have somebody? 2. Find a hobby that best interests you. You can paint, write blogs, cook a mean feast, ride a bike, songwriting, poetry, or whatever fits your fancy. 3. Hang out more with people that really matter. Your bffs, your family, people who will be there for you no matter what. 4. Focus more on your goals that you may what to acheive. How about working on getting that promotion? Passing all of your classes? Lose weight so you get into beach-body shape? 5. Go out with your girls/guys out on vacay and party the night away (if you are over 21 in the U.S). Ladies, pull out that freak 'em dress and fellas put on a fly outfit and have fun. It's okay to have fun and enjoy yourself. It's okay to be single and have fun with people you care about.

It is important to love oneself in order to love someone else in your life. You just got to be comfortable in being by yourself and believe that you will find the love that you are looking for...if you wait without trying to look for "the one". Like I have mentioned before, I still have time and the suitor I had my eye on may be that guy, but at the meantime, I know what I deserve and if he isn't, then I am fine with that. Because after all, a person should not settle for less.


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    • shaynadc89 profile image

      Shayna Cacho 5 years ago from Brooklyn, NY, Living in Delaware

      It is possible but sometimes I tend to build a wall up when getting romantically involved with someone. I know I can't build up that wall for too long because it may push a good man away. Your feedback definitely gave me something else to think about. Thank you for commenting!

    • LuisEGonzalez profile image

      Luis E Gonzalez 5 years ago from Miami, Florida

      I agree it is important to feel self love but sooner or later you will meet someone and your feelings may change into sharing more of your love with him. Good luck and welcome to HubPages