Wielding The Sexual Sword
What is “The Sexual Sword?” It is a weapon of warfare that when used within the covenant of marriage can bring healing and intimacy but when used outside of the marriage covenant brings deep wounds and irreparable damage.
The spiritual bonding that takes place during sexual intimacy forges a connection between a husband and wife that cannot be broken. When we become one flesh on a physical level … we become one flesh on a spiritual level. It can create a closeness that will allow for no weapon of the enemy to penetrate.
This is why God admonishes us in the Word against fornication and adultery. When we have sex with someone we are giving a very important part of ourselves away … not just our bodies … a part of our very spirit. Once that occurs it is very difficult to detach from the person with which we have been so intimate.
1 Corinthians 6:15-16 (New International Version)
15Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! 16Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, "The two will become one flesh."
When you are intimate with a person you become sexually imprinted by them physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. They leave a part of themselves behind and you give a part of yourself away which can never be regained. God admonishes us in Song of Solomon not to awaken love before it’s time. It is not because He doesn’t want us to enjoy the pleasures that sexual intimacy offers but because He knows that being intimate with someone outside of the covenant of marriage can cause damage that may not be felt or seen until much later. He is trying to protect us. When we are sexually active outside of the marriage bed we open ourselves up to being hurt on various levels.
Song of Solomon 2:7 (New International Version)
7 Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you
by the gazelles and by the does of the field:
Do not arouse or awaken love
until it so desires.
Now, within the covenant of marriage, the sexual sword is a mighty weapon of warfare when you are in a spiritual battle. Let’s say that you and your spouse are having a huge argument. You have one of two choices, stay angry and turn away from each other in your hurt or forgive each other and heal the rift through the balm of intimacy. Sadly, the choice most often made is the first one allowing the enemy to drive a wedge of division between you and your spouse. Satan then comes in to steal, kill and destroy your relationship in several areas at once … physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.
The sexual sword can be wielded for God’s Glory or Satan’s Wiles. If we withhold sex from our spouse to punish or frustrate them to get across our point we are falling into the enemy’s hands as a weapon.
1 Corinthians 7:1-6 (New International Version)
1Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry.[a]2But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. 3The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. 5Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
When we follow God’s command in His Word which says that we are only to abstain from sexual intimacy when we are agreement then we will bring glory to God and the marriage bed. The Sword can be used as a means of protection or destruction within a marriage. When used for protection it is a source of strengthening. Sexual intimacy can bring healing and restoration to a marriage relationship. It can be a soothing balm to those who become one who are struggling or in pain. It can be a source of healing for a marriage that is on the brink of divorce. The sexual sword can be used as a means of severing unhealthy bonds such as: stress, anger, bitterness, unforgiveness and resentment. The sword can cauterize wounds … sealing you, preventing infection, alleviating pain and emotional hindrances.
When used for destruction it is a source of death. It can be a source of great pain and deep-seated wounding which can only be healed through the power of prayer and the Holy Spirit. This type of destruction will tear away at the foundation of a marriage relationship. Wielded improperly the sexual sword can bring death in the form of the loss of trust and faith through adulterous behavior. Many marriages are destroyed through adultery but they can be redeemed.
Let’s talk about the pleasure aspect of wielding the sword. God created sex for our pleasure and when it is wielded properly it can be incredible. The intimacy portrayed in Song of Solomon is the perfect example of sexual intimacy within the confines of the marriage bed being more than just physically satisfying but emotionally, mentally and … yes, spiritually satisfying.
I encourage you to wield your “Sexual Sword” with caution and care … wielded recklessly it will bring you much pain and deep wounds … wielded well it will bring you great joy and pleasure.