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Infidelity and a strong Relationship

Updated on February 2, 2011

playing around, without playing around

Can cheating be forgiven

Can a relationship or marriage overcome a straying spouse? This question has been asked a thousand times and everyone get's a different answer.

First let's look at the reasons often associated with cheating spouses. The main reason for most people to go outside of their current relationship is neglect. A spouse that feels neglected and unappreciated will seek attention from someone else. A couple of questions that you need to ask yourself. One, do you take interest in your partners day? When you get home do you talk to each other or do you find yourself doing other things. If you never talk, how will you ever know what is going on in each others life. People want to be heard, they need feel that what they do is important and look to you for that reinforcement.

Two, lack of intimacy is most often the driving force for sexual satisfaction outside of the relationship. When a partner is neglected in the bedroom it often carries over to other parts of the relationship. So ask yourself. Do you go to bed at the same time with your partner? Do you ever just kiss each other goodnight? Are you are your partner often asleep when the other goes to bed?

These are some question you need to ask yourself before you can begin the forgiveness process. If you are completely honest with yourself and confront your fears of hearing your own faults, the healing process can begin.Though sometimes, cheating may come from other issues, let's not forget that there are two side to every situation. The trick is to find what side of the equation you are on. Relationships can be salvaged if you and your partner are willing to work for it, for the right reasons. You can't save a relationship based on what is good for the kids or reputations. If you try to save your relationship based on excuses, it will only lead to resentment and once the kids are grown and out, where does that leave you?

The other part of this is don't hold a grudge. When ever another problem arises don't bring up the past to just inflict pain. Don't live in the past, whats done is done. If you get past it, leave it there, in the past. When you bring up things from the past, it shows that your are not really over it, the issue will never die unless revisited. But, if you try this, know this, you are treading on dangerous ground. Once things were put out in the open the first time, the partner will be reluctant to believe that you honestly care to mend fences.

Remember, honest and open dialogue should continue throughout a relationship, never ignore the small problems, they just get bigger. Always consider someone feelings when they talk, they want to be heard, not criticized. Be supportive to your partners dreams and desires, they depend on you to be there. If you constantly berate someone they will look for a support system somewhere else.

So, yes cheating can be overcome, but, it will only be overcome when you can honestly say that, I love you and want to be with you.

For more insight on this subject read my Sex and infidelity article previously posted on hubpages.


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      boro silicate 7 years ago

      yes you can make it work as long as youre needy enough to tell the offending spouse its ok that they stabbed you in the back, and in the heart. have some dignity, forgive by all means, but to pretend to 'forget' is just you lying to yourself.