Wishes, Confessions, and Regrets of a Less-Than-Average Guy
A perfect specimen of a man
Men are the absolute world’s worst when it comes to confessing a weakness in their lives or an area where they are not as strong as other men.
Women are not squeamish about confiding their (few) failings with their BFF’s over a quiet lunch of mineral water and a crisp, fresh salad.
I am not so foolish as to try and explain why men and women differ in this area of personal confessions. I can only assume that this is how they are wired.
A guy with the perfect body
Michael Phelps, natural winner
Chris Evans, actor, loved and admired by all pretty girls
This guy is so confident that he can't help but look arrogant
Bo Jackson star of two sports, professional football and baseball
Do I look great or what?
Blake Griffin, natural superstar
Jamis Winston, the talk of college football
Now it’s my turn. I am not the least bit ashamed to “air out” my many weaknesses and personal flaws. Why should I? I am not going to my grave by telling you the truth.
So here is a list of personal things that I have never shared with you entitled:
“Wishes, Confessions, and Regrets of a Less-Than-Average Guy”
- I wish that I were so good looking that when I walk by a pretty girl she faints on the spot. And awakens crazy in-love with “a” Greek god who passed her two hours ago and she will pay dearly in cash for a professional private eye to find me.
- I wish that “my” style of dancing with a gorgeous lady would simply be to remain sitting at our table and moving my pinkie finger back and forth in perfect rhythm with the band.
- I wish that even when I make an error, my entourage of beautiful girls would argue that my error was only my imagination.
- I wish that I would only have to move my left eyebrow to attract a gang of lovely women.
- I wish that “if” I were to have a bad photo, it would make pretty girls burn Justin Beiber’s best photos on the public square.
- I confess that I have always longed to not only turn a pretty girl’s head, but her entire body.
- I confess that I wish God had given me the looks of the late James Garner.
- I confess I had been born as Joe Namath.
- I confess that I had yearned to have the perfect body with no time spent in the gym, special diets, or daily regiments of tough exercise.
- I confess that I have always wanted to be the stellar athlete—no matter the sport, I was a natural.
- I regret not taking more tough subjects in high school.
- I regret living my life to please others.
- I regret not being more mentally-tough and telling the “uppity” people around me to simply “take a hike.”
- I regret not following my dreams even though they were not what my friends were shooting for.
- I regret not being more sensitive to those like me who came across my life and then left.
One more . . .
I regret you spending ten to fifteen-minutes reading this story when you could have been outside spraying for fire ants or those pesky rag weeds growing in your front yard.