- Gender and Relationships
Wives, Be in Subjection to Your Own Husbands
Wives Submit to Your Husbands
Most Christian married women read this passage in 1 Peter 3:1 and shudder at even the mere thought of subjecting to anyone, rationalizing that our times do not permit for such humility or submission to any man. “That’s dangerous!”, some wives proclaim. “I love my husband and try my best to trust him every day, but men generally are not completely trust-worthy these days.” These are the more common beliefs married women hold regarding the scariness or fear of subjecting to their husbands.
But, my sister, what exactly are you afraid of?
Peter isn’t instructing wives to be doormats for their husbands at all! Peter hoped that Christian wives would have embraced their significant roles in marriage or family with humility, just like Sarah attended to Abraham (1 Peter 3:6). God has truly blessed wives with undeniable natural significance within the family unit or system. From the bride-centered wedding to the beauty of child birth to concise management of the home, women are blessed. Women, in general, must understand and appreciate the gift God has bestowed on all women called detail-orientation, the ability to perceive and manage details flawlessly. Detail orientation produces precision and accuracy, ensuring that all facets of a matter are sorted out and thoroughly handled.
God's Plan for Marriage
While God created men to naturally oversee and sustain “the big picture” (such as, a matter or system), women were created to naturally identify and present the details of “the big picture”. Men commonly excel in the management of getting tasks done by utilizing vital innate skills of goal-orientation, issuing directives, commanding or leading, controlling competitive environments, tactical aggression, etc. to function within a system. Women, on the other hand, commonly excel at managing the features and elements of getting tasks done by utilizing vital innate skills of detail-orientation, administering protocol, teaching and assessing, enforcing social and personal environments, dexterous compassion, etc. to function within a system. While all such abilities are innate of all humans, the sex of the human naturally strengthens certain abilities above others. Strong abilities are considered skills. These skill sets are synchronized systematically in beautiful harmony to complete the task at hand. In Mark 10:6-8, Jesus reiterated that “From the beginning of creation, God made them male and female. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; And they twain shall be one flesh: so they are no more twain, but one flesh.” While there are many different systems for men and women (such as the home, family, church, business or community), Jesus described the function of the husband and wife as one single unit within a family system.
To Nag or Not to Nag... That is the Question
Wives, have you been criticized by your husbands for nagging?
The wives’ strength in precision and accuracy complements the husbands’ strength to oversee and sustain when the counterparts work together as one unit. Unfortunately, as some wives verbalize or communicate their strengths of precision and accuracy, some husbands misunderstand their counterparts to be nagging, complaining or even criticizing his management of the family system. A wife’s ability to correctly assess and alarm her husband with details of a dysfunction within the family system actually grants her great significance and authority within the family.
Wives must utilize wisdom and constraint in judging their husbands’ ability to manage the family, as no human enjoys being criticized or condemned for failures. Husbands must accept when there are failures in the management of the family and that changes must be made to repair the system. Wives are encouraged to respect and honor their husbands' efforts to care for and lead the family. It is for this simple reason, Peter instructed wives to humble themselves and trust their husbands to rule or oversee the family system. Husbands will then be more convinced (won over) to make necessary changes in their management of the family based on the careful and meticulous input (conversation) of their concerned wives. After all, a system cannot function with ineffective parts.
Therefore, when a wife in humility feels scowled by her husband for “nagging”, the wife can kindly remind her husband that her ability to assess and identify his mismanagement of the family system ensures that the system will function correctly overall. A wife may find that subjecting to her husband is not that bad after all!
So sisters, please subject to your husband's management of the family, but when necessary nag on!