- Gender and Relationships
Women Not Meant To Be Mothers
Most women have a maternal instinct to care for young whether they belong to them or not, especially their own babies. But then there are women who do not have that ability. They don’t find babies or children in general appealing and would rather not be around them.
If motherhood is forced on them they are terrible at it and in extreme cases some go so far as to be neglectful, abusive and even murder their own young.
Women who have a maternal instinct can’t even imagine another female not wanting or caring for her own little ones but it happens everyday. You hear about them in the news and sometimes see them in public.
How can you tell if a woman is non-maternal?
They look like anyone else and you can’t tell just by looking at them although if a baby is around it can be somewhat evident because they are the ones that don’t go over and get all excited about little people.
Some will come out and tell you they aren’t into kids or that they don’t want/like them. Since it’s not considered normal, many of them will feign interest to fit in but if you watch closely you’ll notice their attention has no emotion in it and they look on with the same attention one would give an unusual bug. It’s not really their thing but they know people will think them odd so they look on pretending to be interested.
Are they always bad mothers?
Not always, they just aren’t “great” mothers. Some will just be disinterested and not have much to do with their child. If they have the resources, they’ll hire someone else to deal with the baby. The child will grow an attachment to a nanny, grandmother or other family member and not his own mother.
Are all women who don’t want children non-maternal?
No. Some women love kids but feel they aren’t for them for various reasons.
Maybe they had a lousy childhood and prefer not to bring kids into this messed up world.
Maybe the cost deters them from having any of their own.
Perhaps they are ambition driven and don’t want to jeopardize their career by bringing a baby into the picture.
Maybe they are looking at the population numbers and feel we don’t need more people.
Men should always ask a woman before marriage.
Some guys assume all women will be thrilled to have babies and don’t bother asking. Then later on are disappointed to hear she isn’t interested in kids. Couples should always discuss these things before a commitment.
Can a woman become maternal?
No. If she wasn’t born with this instinct it’s not going to happen. She may pretend to please her husband and family and because she feels society expects her as a wife to reproduce but her heart won’t be in it.
It’s just like a person who doesn’t like cabbage. They might force themselves to eat it but they still don’t enjoy it.
Women who prefer a particular gender:
There are some who have a maternal instinct only for one sex or the other. For instance she may be very attentive and loving towards her son but ignore and detest her daughter. The reverse can also happen.
Things go fine if they bear a child of their preferred gender but if they only have boys and prefer girls the child may have a miserable childhood.
It's okay to NOT have children.
People feel they should pressure women into motherhood and that is a huge mistake. If a woman isn't into children and doesn't want them making her feel obligated is a bad idea but society does it anyway.
For some reason we have this misconception if a couple gets married the next step is to have kids. Not everyone is cut out for parenthood and we shouldn't force the issue.