- Gender and Relationships»
- Advice & Tips for Women in Relationships
Women Should Pick Lesser Expensive Gifts
Women love Gifts
Should Young Women Select Expensive Products When Men Ask Them To Choose?
The purpose of this article is to give heterosexual women some insights in relationships whether dating process, engagement pathways, or marriage commitments. Many people would agree that women love to shop. In shopping malls, there is more women population than men. Single women go to malls to purchase products or items for occasions such as winter, spring, summer, and Fall seasons. Women who are not in relationship sometimes go to mall to find dresses or outfits that they can wear to nightclubs, special events, dates, church, etc. Mothers also go to malls to find items for their husbands, children, home accessories, etc. Shopping becomes significant for many women.
Our topic is dealing with how women should respond when men offer them to choose among items or products in a relationship. My focus is on two groups of people: single women and married women. It is important to have operational definition of dating and marriage. According to Intimate Relationships, Marriage, and Families by leading author Mary Kay DeGenova, dating is " a courting practices in which two people meet and participate in activities together in order to to get to know each other" (pg. 94). I want to give consistent definition of marriage since human history and not manipulation of the term. Marriage is "the relationship that exists between a husband and a wife"
For centuries after centuries, the men are the primary agents that take the initiation in the heterosexual relationship. I do understand that things are changing in the dating world in that some women are reversing the traditional roles of men and become more aggressive in this area. But for the most part, both genders understand that men should be the primary initiators. This means that men are expected to pay for dates and give gifts. Dating has few benefits that are important to mention. First, it provides opportunities to relax and enjoy each other company. Secondly, dating helps people cultivate social skills by learning to have various conversations. Third, it gives both genders to potentially explore which role each person would like to play in the relationship. For example, biblical concept of marriage has duties for both males and females. Fourth, it provides the learning process of narrowing down marital traits that are essential in long lasting marriage.
It is my contention that the way women respond to men when ask to choose or select a free items, products, or gifts gives insight to men about women. In studying sociology, I learn few things about sociological perspective. The idea is there are three types of countries in terms of income: High-income countries, Middle income countries, and Low income countries. 66 countries own most of the planet's or world's wealth. United States is one of the countries that has highest standard of living. Contrasting with low income countries reveals that people living in these places has a lowest standard of living and comprise of 56 poor countries in the world. The point is the place people live gives them a different lives. United States has enormous high standard of living; therefore, I want to argue that women's thinking might be influenced to assimilate this high standard of living into dating and marital relationships.
I want to give few beneficial tips for women in dating and marital relationships. During relationships, it is inevitable for men to ask women to choose in various contexts: restaurants, birthday gifts, valentine, shopping malls, magazines, etc.
Many females love and are excited to go dates. They want to go to different types of restaurants and enjoy themselves. They are aware that they will not pay for the foods they eat and this gives them all sort of feelings of being able to choose whatever they want. They ask for the menu and observe all delicious and appealing meals they can have without paying for them.
Women should be thoughtful in their selections. When men take women to dates, they are sacrificing their money. This means they have worked diligently to meet physiological needs such as rents, car payments, vehicle insurance, gas, electrical, water and water bill, etc. They sacrifice by perceiving women to be special and want to enjoy quality time with them. Men observe whether women are high maintenance or low maintenance. Some women may want to argue that they need to be high maintenance because they deserve expensive things. This is the exactly I mention the impact of sociological perspective because women living in highest standard of living bring old schema (old beliefs and attitudes) into dating process. Because women live in one of the highest standard of living does not mean they should not think about men's income, jobs, and current standard of living.
The way women choose food items should depend on their knowledge of their men. Some women know the standard of living of their men, but they are blinded by feelings of free foods and opportunity to fulfill every craving they might have in that moment. Men are watching women's attitudes concerning how they behave during restaurant experiences.
Adult women should have exceptional humble attitudes. This character trait is significant for two reasons. It communicates to men that women are not self-centered or selfish. For example, when men offer three distinct desserts with low, middle, and high price range, they are looking to see what you are going to pick. Humble women would be able to demonstrate to men that they are not high maintenance by selecting the low price. To these women, they appreciate their men's thoughtful gestures to have been given opportunities to spend quality time with quality men. High maintenance women would choose consistently the most expensive items because they truly believe they deserve expensive items. Women who have attitudes of entitlement may not get far with men in relationships.
Advice #3: Women should appreciate their free gifts.
When relationships become serious and comforting, men may offer women to get products or items in the mall. To most women, free shopping may communicate to them that men are generous and kind. Because women love shopping, they become blind-sided by what they want. Sometimes, I hear women convey ideas that suggest that it is not the gift, but the thought behind the gifts that count. I think this previous statement is politically correct statement and some women do not really mean that. I have observed a thing about women. Sometimes, women say things to men they do not mean in relation to gifts.
For example, men may enter a shopping mall with a particular gift in mind. Some women tend to go beyond what their men intended to do. They tend to be aggressive and try to demand what they really want. By engaging in this type of behavior, women fail to be thankful to God for given them men who are willing to spend on them. There is a biblical saying in the Bible that emphasizes the importance of being faithful with what is given to us.
“One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much, and one who is dishonest in a very little is also dishonest in much" (Luke 16:10).
Advice #4 Women needs to decrease high expectation
The biggest Achilles hill to relationships is high expectations. There is a fine line between moral expectations for men and just bluntly demanding unrealistic forms of expectation for men. One of the foundations of false expectation derives from women upbringings. Some females are taught to focus on material things more than spiritual. This means they equate self-concept or identity with how much things they may have. Women go into relationship thinking to be happy, they need to get whatever they want. No man can fulfill your all your expectations because the more relationship progress, the more these types of women want more and more and it never ends. Another component is the media subliminal messages about how gifts are important to women's well beings. It is becoming a routine for women to equate forgiveness of their men cheating with expensive items or products from men.
These are just my thoughts to help women examine themselves and cultivate relationships.