ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Women and Sex | After Kids

Updated on May 29, 2012
Gustav Klimt, The Kiss
Gustav Klimt, The Kiss

© Copyright 2011 Tracy Lynn Conway with all rights reserved.

My friend Ali was a few years older than me. Both of our kids attended the same nursery school, I would see Ali every day at drop off and pick up. She loved to talk and one of her favorite topics was cooking. She bragged about a cookbook called the Moosehead cook book so I bought the book but it was one of those books that required odd ingredients; ingredients that I didn’t recognize or care to hunt down. The book is still sitting on my cookbook shelf the spine hardly cracked. I find it hard to part with books.

Her other favorite topic was relationships and sex. She is the first person to share with me how amazing sex is when you are past having kids. At the time I had two kids and was pregnant with my third. Ali’s third child was now a one year old and she was sure she wasn’t having more so she had a tubal ligation. As Ali put it, “the best sex begins now.”

I was shocked at first since she was talking about sex. I don’t find most woman want to open up on the topic and secondly the idea that sex could be more or less fun was a new concept for me. Since I was pregnant I had to wait and see. I had a hunch that she was right though.

There are very logical reasons why women can’t completely enjoy sex until the possibility or desire to get pregnant has passed. Before being married the greatest concern is an unplanned pregnancy, there is no 100% effective contraception. Women in their 20’s are focused on education, career and choosing the right person to share their life with; a pregnancy at this time would cause the timeline to change.

Gustav Klimt, The Maiden 1913
Gustav Klimt, The Maiden 1913

Even after a woman is married she might not be ready to have children. She might want to enjoy the experience of being married before having kids so the concern about having an unwanted pregnancy is still there. After having a child and between subsequent children, a women might not be sure about how many children she wants to have so the act of sex carries this concern. Even in the case where a woman is trying or having trouble getting pregnant, the pleasure of sex plays secondary to the concern with procreation. A woman cannot entirely relax and succumb to the complete pleasure that sex can provide.

Even when the couple decides to have no more kids and obtains a permanent method of contraception, the parents are still likely both tired from the demands of work and raising the kids.

Gustav Klimt, Lady with Fan
Gustav Klimt, Lady with Fan

Finally, when the decision is made that there will be no more adorable additions to the family, the kids are sleeping through the night and are more independent, this is when the magic moments happen. This is when sex can become a completely fulfilling experience and no longer one of concern. This is the fun that Ali was talking about. It is a long journey to get there but well worth the wait.

For Sale: Moosewood Restaurant Daily Special Cook Book

Britax Roundabout Car Seat

You can...

  • Learn more about the author Tracy Lynn Conway.
  • Begin publishing for free on HubPages sign up here!.
  • Did you find this article useful? Leave a comment below and share your thoughts.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment
    • Tracy Lynn Conway profile imageAUTHOR

      Tracy Lynn Conway 

      7 years ago from Virginia, USA

      Sherrie Anne, I can't believe that you were given this same book, that is really funny! You are right, the media does distort this. We are over exposed and under informed. Thank you!

    • SherrieAnne profile image


      7 years ago

      Tracy Lynn~Enjoyed your article and had to laugh...was given the same book years ago. I believe you have discovered God's plan~the media distorts it so. Sex after 50 without exhaustion and distraction. Wonderful!

    • Tracy Lynn Conway profile imageAUTHOR

      Tracy Lynn Conway 

      7 years ago from Virginia, USA

      LydieRVgirl, That is great! Thanks for the comment.

      World-Traveler, I was surprised of what little information I could find on this topic. While commercial media uses sexual imagery to sell anything from beer to shoes, an in depth understanding of human sexual motivation seems nearly elusive. Thank you for your comment!

    • World-Traveler profile image


      7 years ago from USA

      Your story will most certainly help more men to understand women as well as themselves. It is a crying shame that this type of information is not taught at the high school level so that both sexes will better be able to understand each other as well as themselves. Thank you for sharing.

    • LydieRVgirl profile image


      7 years ago from Pa in summer sebring fl winter

      Tracy, My husband finds my flat top haircut very sexy. Our sex is crazy now after the haircut. I'm in my 50's

      love your work.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
    ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)