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- Advice & Tips for Women in Relationships
Women over 40 having babies - The baby's side of life
Pregnant women over the age of 40
The baby's side of life and what to expect
The women today are marrying older the average woman saying "I do" is over 30 to 35 years of age. Women then start to worry and hear their biological clock ticking realizing they are approaching 40.
They often get a mixed reaction "what do you want a baby for at your time in life?" and "you should be settling down and enjoying life."
I am the result of the older generation of parents My Mum had me when she was 41 years old My Dad was 48 years old. My older sister was 17 when I was born. I became an Auntie at 3. Everyone thought my nephew was my brother, my sister was my mum and that my mum and dad were in fact my grandma and grandad
When I was growing up At friends parties when the parents used to collect the kids, people would shout "Your Gran is here to pick you up!" I used to slump out in a mood.
My parents were always tired and couldn't play, there was no way my dad could kick a football around with me unless slipping a disc.
I couldn't chat to my Mum about puberty and boys it was the unsaid rule of the house. generations change, now a days children and parents talk about everything, sex,drugs,pregnancy,boyfriends to prepare the teenager or child for life and changes that happen. When I was growing up it was "yes sir, no sir three bags full"
Unless you are willing to sit with a growing child tell the truth and support them through the ever changing world and the problems it throws at youth today, then re think.
You have as a baby the sleepless nights again, bottles and changing dirty nappies at 4am or every couple of hours. As a Child you have the school runs to do the butty box the parents evening, school plays activities, clubs, swimming, horse riding, scouts or brownies. they don't come cheap and you can't do what you want to do, like maybe relax after dinner put your feet up with your partner have a glass of wine. You find yourself ironing uniforms late at night doing butty boxes, checking homework and signing reading books.
There have the 6 week holidays where you need to take them to Disneyland for a month to keep them quiet. You're parents won't be able to help you as much as they could say if you were in your twenties or early thirties.
You have to sacrifice everything you want to do, savings you've worked hard for. Relaxation time is gone the only time you will have to recharge you're batteries is when you are sleeping, unfortunately you may not be getting a lot of that.
Famous women are having babies over 40 and even adopting, they have young nannies to run around and play with their children to entertain them 24/7 and of course they have the financial resources. The biggest thing in their world is who lost the baby weight the quickest!
Congratulations if you are the mentioned mother to be, but please take the world by storm and don't be one of those mothers sat with their feet up reading a women's magazine telling their child to go and play because mummy's busy.
It is a huge responsibility deciding to have a child at all, you have to be double responsible to make sure you don't put a child through silent parenting because of the age gap. Be fantastic, adventurous, play in the same pop up tent that incidentally you can never get back in the box.
Be the first one to skip down the isle at the supermarket. Babies and children are not the latest fashion accessory. Nor is it a way to show people what you're body can still do.
I missed the best parts of my parents my dad now is almost 80 i have just turned 30 my eldest daughter is lucky enough to have got to know him weekend after weekend. My youngest unfortunately won't have all the time in the world with Pappa it's heartbreaking...
Think about every aspect you're age and circumstances will have on a baby through the years. Will you be able to do the 4 hour girly shopping trips, deal with the teenage tearaway years. Or even afford the education to give the child a good start in their life.
The question you have to ask is "what about the baby? are they healthy?"
The probabilities of conceiving into your 40's are high and are usually done with some sort of IVF treatment or other fertility plans, but the risk of conceiving a baby with chromosomal problems to begin with goes up each year you get older.
- 1 in 789 risk of having a baby born with Down Syndrome at age 30
- 1 in 302 at age 35 years old
- a dramatic 1 in 82 at the age of 40
During pregnancy older mothers are offered genetic councelling to understand all the risks and to help you decide if you wish to go ahead with testing to screen for chromosomal problems,defects.
The pregnancy is of even greater risk of developing complications such as gestational diabetes,pre-eclampsa and placental abruption plus many more things. Research now shows that chances of having a low birth weight baby under 5 pounds or a premature delivery increase greatly with age.
People say life is for living and living in the hear and now, after speaking to 5 women in their 40's 3 of them would rather work twice as hard to retire early and enjoy grandchildren. 1 changed her mind about having a last baby just by thinking about the morning sickness and lack of sleep.
The last woman worries me, Mrs E is currently divorced after being married for 25 years lives on her own has 1 son living in Australia has 2 grandchildren and is 43 years old.
She has decided to go ahead with artificial insemination she is broody and has been for 10 years she confides, Mrs E see's this as her last chance and a way of keeping her youthful. She is going ahead with the proceedure I wish her well I truly do,but am afraid she is doing this for all the wrong reasons. Good luck Mrs E but please re think what you can offer the child 15 years down the line when approaching 60....