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Women think before, man after

Updated on December 9, 2010

Why only men have a right to let go?

Isn’t it something truthful in saying that women think before sex and men after? What’s more, it can happen that even if a woman didn’t like a man much before, after this specific act of usually pleasure, the woman starts to like a man a lot or almost immediately falls for him.

So what is really happening here?

It looks as if woman after sex becomes temporary silly. By temporary, I mean period of time which can last from few hours till few months. If the partner cannot accommodate her temporary extreme emotional states, worries, extra vulnerability, expectations, then perhaps he is not the right one and it is better to move on. However at this point for a woman things are getting complicated. For a man on the contrary: he got what he want, now he can relax and probably doesn’t understand what happened with so intelligent woman. Was she pretending so well? How that is possible? I would say: man, if you are stepping into a fire or ocean, then you better learn how to deal with it.

Strictly about sex

One of my friend stated this very simple:

- No sex, no problems.

Perhaps the problem lies in the basic structure, construction of female and male body. It is a woman who is opening more and letting someone inside her quite deep. It makes her vulnerable.

How much women understand that choosing the right partner is a crucial to not only avoid all heart breaking emotional turbulences, but create satisfying relationship for both?

What’s not seen might be of highest importance

Now let’s go back to the time before romance when all was going so well. Both feel attraction. More sensitive people might feel each others thoughts as if communicating telepathically, understand without words, etc.

Woman might feel a man’s presence almost all the time as if mentally he is by her side. She feels good.

How this is possible that all can change after sex. Suddenly she might not feel him close to her, as if something so good disappeared all of a sudden. She feels now empty, unsure, left alone. First she is in shock, then of course she might go a bit crazy. Something is missing here, so naturally she starts to trace it! She now starts to follow a man, first mentally, emotionally then usually in plenty of phone calls. At this point a man seems to be far away and is not approachable even if she manages to meet him physically.

Now let’s see what might seem to be invisible at first.

According to ancient knowledge and modern scientific discoveries, we all are living in kind of field, all is energy and we all influence somehow one another. In some way we are all connected. It doesn’t really matter if people create these connections consciously or not, still the connection is there. On this subtle energetic level, while act of love making, people share, exchange energy. It must have been happening something peculiar if after that so many things within partners can change. It looks as if sex is the most powerful, creative or destructive force, depending on how it is used. All is fine when both partners share, exchange, care for each other. Why so often it is happening: he took it, she gave it? Of course it can happen the other way round, however most cases I heard about were concerning women who opened up too fast, too much, as they say. It seems women are risking more and need to be more careful about their emotional investment.

Please relate to some kamasutra and tantra teachings for more information.

What to do?

Even if the woman seemed to invest wrongly, the good news is, all is not lost yet. There are many great techniques, originating probably from these ancient times, when even religions were not born yet that can bring integrity back.I won’t reveal them here, as they also need to be used with highest caution to not cause more damage.

However if you know what I am talking about there is only one warning here. Please do not exaggerate another way from feeling thunder of emotions into feeling nothing. Cutting of emotions is not the goal here. If the heart is broken, needs to be healed, not cut out. You will need your precious heart and only through it you can know the truth.

And again, if by accident it happened you stopped to feel anything, turned into icy mountain, there are some remedies or simply possibility to use this state to accomplish the most difficult and emotional task from your past. Perhaps you should call someone and say sorry, but couldn’t deal with own emotional nature. Well, now is the good time.

Not only for ladies

Dear all, as with many investments in life, this one is risky one, so I wish you simply good luck at first and being able to reconsider your decision before.

Joanna Pilatowicz


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    • Joanna Pilatowicz profile imageAUTHOR

      Joanna Pilatowicz 

      10 years ago from Germany

      Thank you for your comments, interesting input!

      Well, “he got what he want” is something I observed usually with women, however one man told me the other way round! So the conclusion is simple, at least that something is not right here.

      If partners are conscious enough however and agree, clarify what is going on, then of course all is possible for the benefit of all and there is no hidden agenda. To “tango” takes two, so the responsibility is always on two sides.

      I am sorry to say, but poor is a man who expects from sex only orgasm, while there is much, much more to experience. :)

      I would say that sex in relationship is expression of not only physical love. Stable partnership allows for growth, discoveries, experiences on multiple levels that one night stand cannot offer or it is something very rare. It is comparable to any action that shall produce result. Poor action, poor result. I guess there is also a time factor involved.

      No one can write a book in one night. It takes effort, time, inspiration. Perhaps the greatest are the things in life to accomplish, the longer it takes. In sex that would relate to tantra teachings where orgasm is prevented first to strengthen it later.

      I wouldn’t judge the women’ s reaction as immature so quickly, however in many cases it might be truth. It looks as if the age has nothing to do with it. The oldest women was 70 when she fell in love “like a baby”. I suspect something goes on beyond consciousness and since some aspect of self are hardly accessible, some women don’t understand what is happening and act impulsively. I also observed women’s behaviour, attitude can be strongly related to the hormones, hormonal change in the body which can manifest in psychological, emotional issues. If the issues were not solved before, of course will be strengthen.

      Thank you!

    • Kim Lynn profile image

      Kim Lynn 

      10 years ago

      Quite accurate about how some women react. Other women react differently. You are right, a woman is letting a man into her and he is going home according to some teachings. Exaggerated reactions regarding sex is a sign of immaturity(biological age or emotional age), mental health issues, and or abuse. Interesting read.



    • dashingscorpio profile image


      10 years ago from Chicago

      Why is it when two "consenting" adults have sex even in the year 2010 women still view it as "he got what he want, now he can relax..."?

      The only thing someone should expect from sex is an orgasm in most instances.

      Naturally if you are married or in a serious relationship then sex becomes an expression of physical love for you and your partner.

      Outside of a commited relationship the only people who are hurt or feel used after sex are those who have sex with a hidden agenda. Both consenting adults should be able to relax and bask in the after glow after sex without either feeling like they were used or taken advantage of in some way.

      One man's opinion!


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