Women’s Bras
Bovina Sancta! *
You ladies have always misunderstood us men and we have been repeatedly and unfairly maligned through the centuries. The injustice of it all is choking the breath and the very life out of us and we must protest. It really is not fair and it has to stop!
How dare you accuse us of staring at your breasts instead of your eyes or anywhere else and of treating you as an object, instead of a human being? Have you no feeling, no respect for our emotions? This story has gone far enough and enough, in this case, is enough. We refute your unjust and unfair accusations and we shall now proceed to prove our innocence.
Cogitationis poenam nemo patitur **
Unlike you women, we men do not like to make unsubstantiated or frivolous claims and we always base our positions on solid facts and foundations. I shall therefore commence this paper by supporting our position with facts, so if a picture is worth a thousand words, I ask you to look at the volumes spoken by the photographs on the right.
These are bridges which almost defy the laws of nature, by spanning distances which our forefathers would have thought impossible and in fact would not even have dared to dream of one hundred years ago.
Kindly note that they are all, without exception, mind you, shaped like beautiful and luscious women's breasts.
Amicule, deliciae, num is sum qui mentiar tibi?***
When we men look at women’s breasts, our thoughts are pure. We think of history (how the bra developed through the centuries) and science (how does the damn thing actually manage to keep all that weight horizontal).
It is, therefore, no accident that bridge designers are all men. And the simple fact of the matter is that our engineering successes are all due to our wholesome and unsullied thought processes.
It is also no accident that all the particularly difficult bridges with exceptionally long spans are shaped like women's breasts, either actual or reversed and the result of these great designs are derived from our observations of your breasts.
THAT is the real truth of our motives in looking at your breasts ladies. Our interest is, was and always has been, simply and purely scientific, with every moment, every glance, having as its sole reason and intent, our thirst for knowledge and the desire to work out all related design theories as well as the practical solutions to all relevant problems.
So hopefully from now on, whenever you see a bridge, you shall be reminded of the unfairness of your evil suspicions to date, to the effect that every time you caught us looking at your breasts, you thought that our minds were on the base physical. NO! Our minds were on the engineering challenges.
Facta, non verba****
We look, we observe, we wonder, we calculate, we strategise, we plan and we conceive.
Well, if we are successful in our strategies YOU conceive, but we shall not get bogged down with insignificant details.
Da mihi castitatem et continentiam, sed noli modo! *****
So, next time you see us ogling your breasts, be charitable. Close your eyes if need be and think of the good of humanity, think of our conquest of space and the first man landing on the moon and be PROUD,
Yes, Ladies, be proud because man’s achievements are due to those wonderful, luscious, babies you casually and almost carelessly, nay sometimes almost sacrilegiously, carry around with you with such lack of respect and realisation. I have to stop now because I think my wife is calling me from the bedroom….
Latin Translations
* .......... Bovina Sancta! - Holy cow!
** ......... Cogitationis poenam nemo patitur - Nobody should be punished for his thoughts
*** ........ Amicule, deliciae, num is sum qui mentiar tibi? - Baby, sweetheart, would I lie to you?
**** .......Facta, non verba - Deeds, not words.
***** ...... Da mihi castitatem et continentiam, sed noli modo! - Make me chaste and pure, but not yet!
______ Dimitris Mita
De Greek __________________________________
My thanks to:
Comments
I exspecially enjoyed the translations.
- AUTHOR
Glad you liked it, howcurecancer. Thanks for your kind comment :-)
Exceptional.
- AUTHOR
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We men must declare that we have had enough of injustice, cceerpp don't you think? :-))
De Greek this hub is pretty funny indeed. I can only imagine your thoughts.... :)
- AUTHOR
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..... ;-))))
Awesome!
:-)
Great hub , De Greek , with much sense of humor. Thank you . Best Regards .
- AUTHOR
We try to please, Sentimental :-)))
Technical Imagination...and Imagination can go to infinite horizons...Little odd but Great comparison...
Thought you might! :-)))
- AUTHOR
--- Tony, I've had a look :-)
___ Trish, Always interested in bridges :-)
Wow! De Greek, if you truly believe what you wrote, then I have a bridge to sell to you :)
Nice try! LOL
HA! Just found this link (don't ask!) and thought you might enjoy it!
http://www.weirdworm.com/6-amazing-facts-about-bre...
Love and peace
Tony
- AUTHOR
Glad you liked it, thanks :-))
Wow, that's an education for me...I never even knew that engineering was on my mind all this time, but I'm sure it was, deep within my subconscious somewhere...
Hilarious hub : )
- AUTHOR
Thank you and thank also for passing by :-)
very delightfull hub!!
- AUTHOR
@- IntimatEvolution, of course it's too late now, but I must apologise for not seeing your message earlier
@ - epigramman, We are clean out of those, but we have a very good process for converting lead to gold, at cost price :-))
woman's breasts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! okay okay - you've got my attention - now sell me that swampland in the Florida everglades!!!
It took me awhile, but I am a little slow at times..., loved the funniest hub I've read yet to date. Kudos!
- AUTHOR
Nayberry & nadp, you see what an education you can obtain on hubpages? And all for free, mind you! :D
Now you see, only a Guy (with a capital G) would look at a bridge and be inspired to write an article about women's breasts - which just goes to substantiate Our (with a capital O) claim!
Love this hub!! I always wondered why men were always trying to take a peek down the front of my blouse. It is purely innocent, right? LOL
- AUTHOR
We are here to serve, Angie :-)))
This hub made me laugh. I really needed that today. :D Quite entertaining.
- AUTHOR
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@ Rebeca, glad you liked it. Thank you for your comments :D
@ Kesstra, of course the bra was designed by a man! That is the whole point of this scientific treatise! :D
I think it is wonderful that you like looking at our bodies. Did you know that the bra was designed by a man? And if we women would admit it, don't we dress to look sexy?
A very funny read, certainly had me laughing! :) awesome!
- AUTHOR
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@ SilverGenes glad it made you smile :D
@ Shi, you are kind and you have made ME smile :D
@ Life Unplugged I am very pleased. Thank you for passing by :D
fabulously written hub ,I couldn't help smiling !
Fantastic - a scientific explanation for men's fascination with women's breasts (bridges and what have you) - lovely!!
I couldn't help giggling all through this hub. Very clever wit. You sure have a special talent. Thank you for this awesome hub :)
How did I miss this? Bovina Sancta! I will never be the same again - HILARIOUS!!!!
- AUTHOR
How kind you are TruthAwake! You make writing very rewarding :-)
Thank you :D
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA....wait, i need to breathe...HA HA HA HA HA HA. Seriously, cannot stop laughing. Hilarious hub!!! I love it.
- AUTHOR
Wellllllll.... science was always my weak point.....:-))
I love it!! I never made the connection to bridges (maybe because mine are more like the mini-bridge over the little brook running through the park, lol); thanks for sharing this great scientific insight.
- AUTHOR
There,, you see? It's so simple and yet OTHER women have made it so complicated! I just don't understand why ...
De Greek yet another great hub my friend and I have always known the reason why my dd's give men that glazed over look and I have to admit it gives me a sense of satisfaction and I am sure that mine have been the blue print to a few beautiful bridges. Oh I think some of that De Greek humility is rubbing off on me. Cheers.
- AUTHOR
MP, the front clasp escaped me completely and I sahll certainly refer your excellent suggestion to the club committe (no women allowed, of course) for the necessary research :-)
Yes, De Greek! It is simply and purely scientific thing...that's all. Thank you for clearing the air finally and getting this off their chest...I mean your chest. Oh well...you know best...about bridges shaped like breasts! I wonder if the drawbridge and the front clasp share anything in common? Anyways...Really Great Hub...with your wit and humor on full display, my friend. I will never look at an Arching Bridge's Racks the same...Ha!
- AUTHOR
Neil, you are a true male who understands! Thank you:-))
Like a bridge over troubled water -- I shall lay my head with a smile... LOL what a great laugh - thanks!
love - light - Laughter
Neil
- AUTHOR
Hi Petra! Good to see you again. We have wonderful bridges of our own right here and we do not have to pay for them, let alone go to California to do it:-))
As almost everyone knows, California has a real fascination with bridges; we are building them and re-enforcing them again and again until we use up the world’s silicon supply. And please note that our Californian bridges are strictly for commercial use in case anyone wonders…
- AUTHOR
You are VERY kind. Thank you. :-)
Excellent!!!
You have mastered the art of attracting readers.
Brilliant Topic with Brilliant points
- AUTHOR
Kind of you to say so, Best2222. Thank you...... :-)
I recently came across your article and have been reading along. I want to express my admiration of your writing skill and ability to make readers
read from the beginning to the end. I would like to read newer posts and to share my thoughts with you
- AUTHOR
Keep a copy of this in your pocket to hand over to them then:-)
Excellently written and insightful. Everytime I get a dirty look for breast gazing I lament at their lack of understanding. Perhaps your wise words will open the minds (and perhaps the blouses :p) of women everywhere. Two thumbs up!
- AUTHOR
Only our pure thoughts seperate us from women, who can only think in the base physical! :-)
Hi Gypsy told me about this and I've nearly broken my neck getting here....a bridge too far...never I would cross the globe to read this..and very worth it, it has been thank you!
My hub on the history of women's underwear has had record viewings. If ever I write a novel it will have panties in the title and/or breasts!
- AUTHOR
@ Gypsy Willow, if you remember it was your article on bras that inspired me to comment on your site and that comment was turned into a hub. AND, by the way, strangely enough this hub has had about 2000 visitors, while my other works of art are ignored, except by you and a couple of other friends :-)))
@ Mamelody, bite your tongue Child! What a horrible thing to say!!! :-)
yeah yeah excuses excuses... admit it you men are all pervs no wonder you got nothing else better to do than design Bridges shaped like our precious assets! I bet it would be absolute torture for you woke up one morning and find that all women have disappeared from this planet!
Nice hub!
I've been hanging out in sunny CalifornyA!
- AUTHOR
You cannot catch me out in the detail, Child. I was clear in my thesis and referred to "actual or reverse", which latter case is the catenary. And where have you bee, you baaaaaaaaaad girl :-)
Tut tut Dimitris. I always thought they were catenaries. Some of them are a little flat methinks, a bit like your argument for purity!
- AUTHOR
Bridges!!! It's BRIDGES!!!
I can't stand it anymore...I Love Boobies!
- AUTHOR
Yes, but will the female of the species understand? NO! No sense of community spirit, I call it. :-)
Bravo De Greek! There are specific reasons we have that glazed over look when we observe the incredibly Engineered Breast. I have tried to explain to MW that no matter what...observe...observe...rinse and repeat.
- AUTHOR
We men live for science, MW! Ask your husband :-)
liar liar pants on fire! I had to forward your hub to my husband, who needed the excuse you offer here for his alibi too! ;-) I am LOL! Great creativity and . . . -such passion for your subject! ;-)
- AUTHOR
The De Greek women are typical women, Cris. Absolutely and insanely illogical! :-))
Haha the De Greeks are really a sensitive lot like you said. I could only guess as to what the women in the family - surely there are mother and sister De Greeks - are like. :D
PS
Did not get the email notifications in time.
- AUTHOR
@ Hi Cris!!! And I was thinking that you did not like this hub and you were too [plite to make a negative comment! :-)
@ Habee, I am heading there right now! :-)
When you get a chance, read my hub, "What Not to Wear." I think you'll get a chuck!
I imagine you always managing to extricate yourself from uhm tight spots with your gift of gab. :D
- AUTHOR
Amicule, deliciae, num is sum qui mentiar tibi? :-))
And of course ya'll wouldn't lie to us! We know you don't mean to think of us as breasts with legs.....well done!
- AUTHOR
Yes, Jane, we low types without a sense of humour will do anything to draw Google's attention. And, indeed, you should be suspicious of of men with an attachment to bridges :-)
What some people wont do to get into a google search engine!
Lol... Freud would be proud of you De Greek, for spotting that connection. Except now I'll forever be suspicious of men who stare at bridges for too long...
- AUTHOR
With you there Brother Winsome. Keep up the spirit and desire for scientific knowledge!
Thank you fellow maligned brother for reaffirming , in two languages no less, the purity of masculine motives. Even when our search for engineering inspiration is allowed to proceed beyond scientific glances into the realms of pure and chaste physical inspection, we can be sure now that the female readers will support our need for "uplifting" research. =:)
- AUTHOR
Hi Habee. See how unfair you women have been to us? Now go and apologise to your poor husband this minute!
I am once again amazed by your wit and sarcasm! I now understand why my husband is so enthralled by my breasts. I have misjudged many, many men throughout the years. Mea culpa!!
- AUTHOR
Yes, where would we be without your inspiration Billy S? Certainly a lot richer financially, but so much much more poorer in achievements! - Thnaks for passing by :-)
oh!!! so THAT was the answer to a question talked, thought about, debated by women the world over. Bridges and breasts- thank god wifey called u to the bedroom- and so we inspire mankind forever more!
- AUTHOR
Cheryl, one aims to educate :-)
This was a most creative and very fun read, unique once again! I will always have you in mind now whenever viewing a bridge LOL!
- AUTHOR
Lalesu, you may just have found the solution to space travel! :-))
After reading your post, how could one ever hold an overlong glance against any man? Now that I know women's breasts have been responsible for the success of the space program I'm considering implants to get humans to Mars sooner.
Very clever, very enjoyable!
- AUTHOR
Generous with your praise as usual, Melinda......:-)
I posted this hub on my Facebook profile last night :-)
I am sure the men visited it and read it, with such a provocative title, how can they not?..[smiles]
Of course I enjoy your hubs, always.
Thank you, in more ways than one, De Greek.
- AUTHOR
@ I have obviously given offence and I apologise. The De Greeks only wish to be helpful
@ Nellianna, the comments are an indication of the calibre of the visitors :-)
@ And Poet, what a pleasure it is to have the full and enthusiastic agreement of a female on this sensitive subject :-))
Nellieanna - your sister sounds fun!!
De Greek - thanks for the translation. I was just going to pretend I hadn't heard or understood that :D
Or as my eldest sister offered the middle one, "Ruth if you'll get us two glasses of lemonade, I'll give you one!"
OH my - all these comments are as funny as the hub itself!
yeah yeah yeah right
- AUTHOR
Now, now, WOMAN! Let us have none of this girlish flippancy and learn your place! But of course, if you will like a cup of tea, dear, perhaps it will calm you down?
- AUTHOR
Tony, you are kind as usual. For that, I shall let you know a Latin gem that few people know about:
Certe, toto, sentio nos in kansate non iam adesse
Ah! But I have been biased since before the glass breaking incident and our union my irresistable Greek man of a thousand words...some of them Latin. :)
Wait a minute...are you bossing me around already? lol ;)
I always knew there was a real-world reason for my breast fantasies! It's all to do with bridges! LOL!
How could I have missed that. My fantasies always left me hanging a bit but now they will have a firm foundation, thanks to your wit and erudition!
Love and peace
Tony
- AUTHOR
Shalini, as you are unlikely to find a translation, I cannot torture a fellow Latin scholar. It means - "Your fly is open" :-)))
- AUTHOR
@ Shadesbreath, how nice to see you here. You see? The Spartans prove the point! Their minds were on war NOT on engineering. See what happened to them? This should be a lesson to all of us men, NOT to be influenced by female propaganda, erroneously suggesting that we are lechers!
@ Pam, how kind you are and you make me blush. However, since we got married, folowing that glass breaking incident, your opinion does not count becasue as a wife you are biased .
FP, it is the UNFAIRENESS of it all that drove me to it! We men must demand to clear our good name!
@ And so it does, validate the deed, Shalini. And let's see if you can find a translation for this: Braccae tuae aperiuntur :-)))
Exitus acta probat!
@FP - I'm dying to see what he'll do with the derriere!!
de Greek - you must read this one:
Engineering challenges? Who would have thought?!! DG, is there no end to your inventiveness? :D
Vos es ultra foedus you Greek genius! I will no longer cover or shield that area of my body from the thoughtful gazes of men's eyes again. NEVER! Science, engineering, architecture, bridges...the moon for gosh sakes! How can any woman ever think badly of men's leering glances after reading this???? Thank you for opening my eyes! :)
Brilliant concept and hysterical read! Loved it!! :)
So if I'm following you correctly, I can then extrapolate backwards as why it was the Romans and not the Spartans who came up with that arch. It's all so clear now. Thank you for enlightening me. The irony if this revelation coming from a breast loving Hellene so much the jollier. :D
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