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Online Dating Tips for Guys
Online dating seems to be the answer lately for many out there trying to meet that "special someone." For some it works out magnificently, while others feel it is just another way to get rejected.
Among the many conversations with friends who are members of the online dating world, the same problems arise with the men they try to know through these sites. So instead of one more conversation venting the frustrations of it all, I thought it might be helpful to write a hub about it. Perhaps it would be one less badly ended acquaintance through Internet dating for my friends. (Or maybe it will be a way for guys to respond in why they do what angers women so much.) Either way, I thought these frequent aggravations should not be kept in discussions just with my friends any longer.
Please leave a comment. It will be greatly appreciated.
The Disappearing Act
This is one of the most common frustrations for my friends. They start talking to a guy, go back and forth a few times, and then all of the sudden the communication stops. No more responding to emails or sending IMs, even with phone calls this has happened. Women know that not every man they talk to is going to result in a date, but would prefer an explanation instead of a sudden end. Men, please tell the girls you "don't feel the chemistry" or that you are "pursuing someone else." Even though rejection might hurt, it's part of online dating and for most women, knowing for a fact that the communication is ending would be better then be wondering for the next week or two what happened. So please be courteous, if you are talking with a girl or have gone on a date and are not "feeling the connection" let her know you want to keep talking to get to know each other only as friends, or that you are going to continue searching but appreciate the time in getting to know each other.
To the men who have used this phrase: women know what this means. I acknowledge the rare few that "just want to cuddle" but women assume most men are hoping for a little more action, especially if "cuddling" is the first email or IM sent. And I also know there are girls out there who are just looking for the same. But remember there are also girls out there who need to get to know you before any of that goes on. So be nice to those kind of women when you are pursuing a quick hook-up.
One night while my friend was on, a guy started to IM her. They were just getting past the "How are you"s when he says, "so I just have to know if we are going to cuddle tonight or not." Yep, just like that, out of the blue! Baffled by this, and also wanting to know what his face looked like since his profile picture was just of his abs, she replied with something like "well that was out of no where, I need to talk more" and asked for at least a picture of his face. Surprisingly, he was taken back by the fact a girl wanted more then a ripped stomach to know if she was attracted to him. They talked for a few more messages about his picture when he bluntly asks why she is being so picky when she's not hott! Yes, he just came right out and said it! (Needless to say, that conversation was the only thing he got from my friend.)
So guys, and I know (hopefully) most of you would not come out and be so blunt, but if you want some "cuddling," remember to be nice, because online dating is full of different kinds of women. (For example, I'd be looking for a Christian man who wouldn't even think of doing some of those "cuddling" things until marriage! All types are out there!)
As a rule, read the profile and remember not all women online are willing to just meet or know they want to be with someone with one conversation. (And men, for your safety of stalker type girls, neither should you.)
Try to have at least one nice front view picture of your face where you are simply smiling. If you are looking for a girlfriend out of your online dating experience, you will be taken more serious with that sort of picture, then with one of your abs or in a group shot appearing tipsy with women around you.
I am not suggesting your whole life story is on your profile, but what is on your profile (pictures, likes and dislikes, availability, marriage status, how much you drink, etc.) is the truth. This goes for men and women. Men, changing your status from single to divorced while talking to a woman, does not earn you extra points. :)
If you honestly have taken the time to read a woman's profile and like what you see, then take the time to write her an original message. My friends are among the women who feel more confident in a guy that is specifically pursuing them instead of sending out the same message to anyone he finds attractive, a guy who doesn't even bother to read what they took the time to write. And please try to say something more then "You're Beautiful." Although it's flattering, adding a little something more that comments on what they like or wrote in their "about me" section, will go further.