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Womens Top 10 Peeves With Online Dating

Updated on June 3, 2010
Photo Courtesy of Matthew Bowden
Photo Courtesy of Matthew Bowden

For men seeking women through online dating services... pay attention! Like it's counterpart, this is an informal and quite funny list of Womens Top 10 Peeves With Online Dating. However, it can also be quite serious and these are true experiences from various women. As with men, honesty is the key to a possible "match".

Though statistics show that there are nearly three times as many men as there are women using online dating services, the presumed smorgasborg for the ladies becomes gobbled down fairly quickly. Why? The main reasons are listed below.

Women's Top 10 Peeves

  1. Pictures don't match reality. Sound familiar? It should, because it was in the number one spot for Men's Top Ten Peeves as well. Keep those pictures updated. Women want to know what you look like today not ten years ago. Just as men want the same.
  2. Spare your ego. Do not apply if you are not the kind of man we say we want to meet. Women only then have to come up with a 'legitimate' reason why she doesn't want to meet you. Your ego is wounded and we feel bad for doing that, and often you let the women know. All of this, when you shouldn't have contacted her in the first place.
  3. Hey, Octopus Man control those tentacles! Women do not want to be accosted in the parking lot after coffee or dinner. A goodnight kiss, maybe, if our chemistry is there. After a few shared emails, maybe actual conversations over the phone, coffee or dinner does not mean women are ready to hop into the sack.
  4. Actually READ her profile. You like her first picture, so you go to the next, wow she's a looker. So you give her a 'wink'. But did you bother to read her profile to see if you actually have things in common? The computer may consider her a match, but don't you want to be sure? Women WANT you to be sure!
  5. Expand on AVERAGE. Men and women differ greatly on what average means. Read the definition of 'Athletic Build' before you apply it to yourself. There is no bulge or baggage in an athletic build.
  6. Women, generally, do not want to make the first move. If you are interested, send that email.
  7. Know what you want. If you are looking for a long term relationship or casual connections of the physical kind, know it, and be honest about it going in. Women want to know what you are looking for.
  8. Be Independent. The woman may already have children or want children in the future, but definitely not looking to be Mommy to a grown man.
  9. Leave the EX'S in the past. We don't want to talk about your ex-wife or ex-girlfriend and what went wrong. Unless you're in a therapy session, the woman is actually a therapist, and you intend to pay for her time. When you meet for the first time the intention is to get to know each other better, not all of the other women in your life.
  10. Fatal Attraction and the stalker ex-girlfriend, ex-wife, ex-lover, or even worse your still in a relationship or just 'taking a break', giving eachother some 'space'. Women do not want to be involved in a love triangle. Women are generally not interested in being 'the other woman'. As with the men's peeves, we do not want any confrontations with your ex.

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    • one2recognize2 profile image

      one2recognize2 

      6 years ago from New York

      Great job,very on point and very well written :)

    • kenneth avery profile image

      Kenneth Avery 

      7 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Missi . . .LOVED the story in all areas--presentation; graphics, opinions. I sometimes wish that online dating were available when I was dating in 1973-'74...notice I put the '19 in front of '73 an d'74--didn't want you to think it was '18'74....keep up the great work.

    • profile image

      sammi 

      7 years ago

      Some more are the 2 sentences long "get to know me" section. And the endless messages that just say "HEY" do guys not have one creative streak in their bodies?

    • profile image

      Phoebe Pike 

      7 years ago

      I would be too scared to go on those websites. I got lucky and found Jiffy when we were growing up. I have heard too many horror stories about women being abducted or killed to consider dating sites. This is a really well-written hub though.

    • Missi Darnell profile imageAUTHOR

      Missi Darnell 

      8 years ago from Southern California

      Neither can I JaneA. I do know people who have had success along with stories like these.

    • JaneA profile image

      JaneA 

      8 years ago from California

      I can't decide if on-line dating is a good thing or not (for all the reasons you list). I'm just glad I missed the whole thing!

    • Missi Darnell profile imageAUTHOR

      Missi Darnell 

      8 years ago from Southern California

      Mentalist... love that! Thanks for stopping by.

    • Missi Darnell profile imageAUTHOR

      Missi Darnell 

      8 years ago from Southern California

      Thank you Ann!

    • Missi Darnell profile imageAUTHOR

      Missi Darnell 

      8 years ago from Southern California

      epigramman LOL!! Agree completely with your comment. Thanks for posting.

    • Mentalist acer profile image

      Mentalist acer 

      8 years ago from A Voice in your Mind!

      All profiles are definetly not created equal...

    • Ann Nonymous profile image

      Ann Nonymous 

      8 years ago from Virginia

      Great advice, Missi! Great hub and great job!

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 

      8 years ago

      Well I have a peeve with my pet - he only lets me have about 5 hours sleep and then I am awoken in order to feed him!

      By the way - profile pictures are nice but the most important thing is how one communicates - and writes!

    • Missi Darnell profile imageAUTHOR

      Missi Darnell 

      8 years ago from Southern California

      Juliette... funny in a sense I can't imagine that scenario. Thank you for commenting.

    • Juliette Morgan profile image

      Juliette Morgan 

      8 years ago

      Hello again - yes if only people were honest, not only in the online scenario, I think whether real life one to one or online, honesty on both sides is a big issue and women particularly have to take care to be safe on 1st dates, as they are more vulnerable - you don't actually hear of men going out with an unknown woman and actually getting scared!

    • Missi Darnell profile imageAUTHOR

      Missi Darnell 

      8 years ago from Southern California

      Thank you Cheeky Girl that made me laugh too... and ask the question athletic type what does that mean? Evidently different things to different people. Can be scary yes and the Octopus man is truly out there.

    • Cheeky Girl profile image

      Cassandra Mantis 

      8 years ago from UK and Nerujenia

      Great hub! I was smiling at the "Baggage" part and the athletic type! Yeah you are athletic if you are under 200 Lbs! Heh! I dont think so! The advice for watching out for stalkers is good. There is a lot to be said for that issue of trust when it comes to dating guys on the net. I never did it, but I know some who do. All guys, funnily enough. Cheers!

    • Missi Darnell profile imageAUTHOR

      Missi Darnell 

      8 years ago from Southern California

      JannyC thank you!! It was actually more difficult to do than the men simply because many of the peeves were the exact same.

    • Missi Darnell profile imageAUTHOR

      Missi Darnell 

      8 years ago from Southern California

      JY3502 thank you as always for your comment... I guess people get tired of the bar or club scene or wherever they go to meet people and they are hoping that online dating will do the prescreening for them. If people were honest it would work, the theory is there anyway.

    • Missi Darnell profile imageAUTHOR

      Missi Darnell 

      8 years ago from Southern California

      billyaustindillon, completely agree. Luckily some have had very happy results.

    • Missi Darnell profile imageAUTHOR

      Missi Darnell 

      8 years ago from Southern California

      Harsh-india, thank you for reading and commenting.

    • Missi Darnell profile imageAUTHOR

      Missi Darnell 

      8 years ago from Southern California

      Quill, yes scary indeed. I've heard some pretty scary stories. Thank you for reading.

    • JannyC profile image

      JannyC 

      8 years ago

      Yay you did a women's one! Bravo!

    • JY3502 profile image

      John Young 

      8 years ago from Florence, South Carolina

      I NEVER LIKED THE ONLINE DATING SITES, MAINLY FOR THE SAME REASONS YOU LISTED. GETTING A PHOTO 10 YEARS OUT OF DATE, ETC. I DID HOWEVER GET INVOLVED WITH SEVERAL ONLINE ENCOUNTERS INADVERTENTLY THROUGH CHAT ROOMS, AND EVEN WENT TO MEET THEM. THEY WERE ALL A DISASTER AND REALLY MESSED ME UP. THAT WAS MANY YEARS AGO. I DON'T EVEN GO TO CHAT ROOMS ANYMORE. IF YOU CAN'T MEET THAT SPECIAL SOMEONE WHERE YOU'RE AT, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU'LL MEET THEM ON A MACHINE? ANYWAY, ANOTHER GREAT HUB MISSI. I ENJOY YOUR HUBS.

    • billyaustindillon profile image

      billyaustindillon 

      8 years ago

      It seems to me these online dating sites are a little like playing Russian Roulette.

    • Harsh-india profile image

      Harsh-india 

      8 years ago

      nice informative hub for all of us...

      keep it up

    • profile image

      "Quill" 

      8 years ago

      Scary world the online dating scene as you are never sure what you find, life can be like that as well... caution is always the best advice. Great hub

      Blessings

    • Missi Darnell profile imageAUTHOR

      Missi Darnell 

      8 years ago from Southern California

      Agreed msorensson I have friends, guys and girls using online dating sites and it comes with a lot of dissapointment. Thank you for your comment.

    • msorensson profile image

      msorensson 

      8 years ago

      My friends have suggested going to these websites.

      Actually one of them met her future husband there and I know a couple of people who met their spouses from social networking sites as well.

      However, there are more who have written me who broke their hearts, because they bought too much into the "virtual reality" scenario.

      Thank you for this. Great advice :-_

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