Words matter in marriage! How words shape your marriage?
‘I have always considered marriage as the most interesting event of one's life, the foundation of happiness or misery.’ – George Washington
‘Keep quiet’ I told my pet Sweetie rather harshly. She was barking incessantly without reason and the sound was very jarring. She immediately tucked her tail between her legs in a show of submission. I could not bear to see her bowed down. I immediately took her in my arms and spoke endearing words. She reciprocated by wagging her tail excitedly and was all over me. Such was the power of my words on her!
It is the same in your marriage relationship also. The words you speak with your spouse make your relationship either happy or unhappy. Words are the most powerful weapon of your relationship. It can make or break your marriage.
Do you want to know the power of the words spoken?
- You feel happy when your spouse speaks endearing words to you.
- You are irritated when he\she speaks monosyllables to your excited interaction
- You are resentful when he\she uses demeaning words.
- You completely drift away from your spouse when he\she speaks indifferent words.
- You are wild at your spouse when he\she uses abusive words.
So words decide the happiness and the unhappiness quotient of your marriage! Most of you never know the power of words and use it unthinkingly.
Why don’t you observe your interaction with your spouse for one day?
Observe how many loving words you have spoken to him\her.
- Very few, I am sure.
Observe how many uninterested monosyllables you had said.
- Lots of it!
Observe how many times you have reacted with unthinking harshness.
- Many a time!
And also observe how long you stay at home without uttering a word to your spouse.
- You will be amazed at the lengthy silence you maintain at home!
At work place you are pleased when your boss utters words of appreciation which makes you want to do better and better. When he is nasty and bullish your mind immediately feels let down. So the words you hear decides your comfort level at your workplace.
How can it be any different at home? You always want to hear loving and caring words from your spouse.
But why is it your interaction with your spouse is always staid and boring?
You used many words of endearments when you were in love, didn’t you?
Where did it disappear after marriage?
Do you know that your spouse never outgrows the loving words you spoke before marriage? But strangely you become pragmatic in your approach towards him\her after marriage and lose interest in speaking loving words.
Do you know words of abuse foretell the failure of your marriage? Can you abuse someone whom you love deeply? You can’t! When the love for your spouse takes a back seat, you feel it very easy to find faults with him\her. And you want to show your lack of interest by saying demeaning words which hurt your spouse and finally your relationship.
Why do you feel it easy to say loving words before marriage?
You have no responsibilities towards your spouse and hence feel free in your mind. All you want to own him\her. Yes, you want your spouse to be your own! This makes you put your best foot forward. You want to get into the good books of your spouse and so you are very loving and very caring.
Words of love come easily to you during your dating days!
When he\she looks worried you cannot bear it and immediately enquire what was wrong. You utter consoling words and coax him\her come back to normal.
Words of love struggle to come out of you after marriage!
After marriage you take a slanting look at the worried face of your spouse and casually over look it. You do not bother to utter comforting words to make him\her feel normal. And your spouse crumbles inside wondering what happened to your love.
Certain things in marriage should never slip to practicality and words are one such aspect. You should interact with your spouse with love so that your marriage never loses its freshness. When you have a powerful weapon of words which can build your relationship, why do you not use it?
© 2014 mathira