- Gender and Relationships
Words of Wisdom for Daughters and Wives: How to Control Your Desire to Make Love
Words of Wisdom for Daughters
Some unmarried women ignore words of wisdom for daughters and think that when they make a guy sleep with them, they can get the guy to stay in a relationship with them. Others think that by having premarital sex with a guy they are dating, he will become more committed to them. And some married women have sex outside their marriage because they are looking for excitement and fun.
But premarital sex and extra-marital sex can ruin your life, if you don’t deal with your sexual desire and if you choose to satisfy that urge. For example, extra-marital sex is one of the reasons why some marriages break up.
And a study suggests that couples who delay sex until they marry have more stable and more satisfying marriages than couples who choose to have sex before they marry.
So, what are some of the things you must do, if you want to control your sexual urge so that you can increase your chances of having a happy romantic relationship?
Learn Ways You Can Boost Your Willpower
Educate yourself about the ways you can develop a strong will. This will help you to resist temptation, control yourself when your hormones are urging you on to gratify your fleshly desires, and also arm you with knowledge which will help you to manage your desires properly.
Remind Yourself Of The Purpose Of Lovemaking Often
God created lovemaking to help us bond with our spouses as well as to help us procreate so that the human race could live from generation to generation. Lovemaking is a sacred act governed by laws given by God and you must see it as such, if you want to control the urge to sleep with a guy.
So, remind yourself often of why God created lovemaking and of the fact that God does not take a casual view of casual lovemaking or lovemaking outside marriage. Read the Bible and remind yourself of some of the consequences some of the characters in the Bible suffered as a result of the fact that they chose to disobey God’s commands regarding lovemaking and how it should be used and it will help to deter you from disobeying God.
Associate With People Who Will Encourage You To Honor Lovemaking
The Bible says that bad company can ruin good character. The people you spend time with, the people you talk to often, can share wrong views and wrong advice with you which can influence you to do the wrong thing.
Therefore, be careful who you listen to for advice and who you visit when you are feeling bored. Choose to associate with friends who will not stir the fires of passion in your body.
Rather, choose to spend time with friends who share the same values with you, who will inspire you to live a morally upright life, who will reprimand you when they see that you are on the wrong track and likely to destroy your life by engaging in premarital or extra-marital lovemaking, and who will encourage you to remain true to your values.
Guard Your Mind
The Bible says in Philippians 4 v 8 that, “…whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”
In other words, focus your mind on things that will honor you, things that can help you to keep your thoughts holy, things that will make you feel happy and which are pleasing to the eyes, and they will help to distract you from desiring to have illicit lovemaking.
So, consciously choose to think about positive things when thoughts come to your mind which tell you to go out and satisfy that desire.
- Think about your love for your husband and all the good things he has done for you.
- Think about your love for Jesus and about how hurt He will be if you disobey His commandment not to have lovemaking before marriage or outside marriage.
- Think about the joys of continuing to be holy, such as enjoying peace of mind.
- Think about heaven and the joys of going to that wonderful place, if you refrain from disobeying God’s commandments, and the crown of righteousness which Jesus will give to you if you are able to withstand the temptation to sleep with a guy you are not married to.
Control Your Imagination
Your thoughts are linked directly to your feelings and they influence the kind of behavior you show. Sometimes the imagination can run wild, and you can think about one illicit lovemaking act after another, and that can help to increase your desire to make love.
So, you need to control your imagination so that thoughts about making love will not captivate you and make you desire to sleep with your boyfriend, or with someone who is not your husband.
How can you do this?
- Find out what causes you to think about lovemaking often. When you know where your lovemakingual thoughts come from , it can help you to identify why you have them.
- Possibly, situations or events from your past have contributed to making you think often about having lovemaking with someone. Have you been abused before? Do you love watching adult movies? Identify the root cause so that you can take measures to deal with the root cause to help you break free from prurient thoughts that trouble you.
- For example, if you think “I want to sleep with a guy,” identify what you were doing when this thought came to your mind. Did that thought come into your mind because you were watching adult movies? Did a friend share a ribald joke?
- Afterwards, identify when and how these thoughts about lovemaking tend to occur. It will help you to see patterns in the way you think so that you can learn to break these patterns by distracting yourself when you come in contact with the triggers.
- When you identify your unhelpful thinking patterns, write down a list of about 50 alternative thoughts that you will use to counter the thoughts that suggest that you should try the act. When thoughts about lovemaking come to your mind, take the list and read the alternative thoughts to yourself and keep reading them until the negative thoughts leave your mind.
- Avoid using negative words in your mind such as “I can’t control myself. I must make love to a guy,” or “I want to make love with someone.” When you allow such negative thoughts to develop within your mind, it can cause you to react negatively to tempting situations and you might give in when a guy wants to get you to jump into bed with him.
- Instead of using words such as “can’t “ and “won’t” use positive words such as “can” and “will.” For example, when the thought “I cant’ stay chaste” comes to your mind, think something such as “I can remain a virgin” or “I can be faithful to my husband. Why not!” By doing this, you will empower your spirit and you will be able to restrain your feelings.
- When the desire to have illicit lovemaking grows very strong, ask yourself, “What will I lose if I don’t gratify my desire? Is it worth the cost? Is it worth it to enjoy just a few seconds of pleasure and suffer a possible breakup, if my husband finds out, or suffer disgrace, if my church members find out? ” Ruminate upon this for some time and you will see that you may lose your dignity and self-respect, you will lose God’s protection, you will no longer be able to enjoy God’s blessings. Then shake your head and say something such as, “No! I will not do it!” It will give you positive energy to help you resist negative thoughts.
Acknowledge What You Are Grateful For Often
Sometimes the way friends or family members talk about how they enjoy their lovemaking encounters with their lovers can make a woman who has decided to wait till marriage before she has sex, or a woman who wants to stay faithful to her husband, feel miserable or feel as though she is missing out on some fun, excitement, and adventure.
To counter this feeling, write a list of all the things you are grateful for about your life. You may write about God’s love for you, the good brothers or sisters you have, the friends who adore you, your attractiveness, the good home from which you come, your academic qualifications, your good job, your children and so on.
When you do this, you will shift your focus from what you feel you are missing, from what you don’t have to what you have. This will help you to see that you are blessed and that will help you to feel happy and content, which will reduce the likelihood that you will desire to seek happiness in the bed of a man.
Treat Every Day As An Opportunity To Do Something Great In The World
Life gives you an opportunity to improve yourself, to learn and develop new skills, to set new goals for your life, to focus your energy on something worthwhile that will benefit not only you , but also your family and your community, and also avenues you can use to make money so that you can have a positive impact on your loved ones and disadvantaged people in society.
When you are occupied with such pursuits, when you devote your time and energy to do some of these things, you will have little time to focus on thoughts about making love.
So, choose to find out about and focus your attention on opportunities to earn money, starting your own writing business so that you can earn extra income, ways you can become successful, ways to start your won business, ways you can get a better job if your current job is not giving you much and so on, instead of wasting your energy and time fantasizing about lovemaking.
Remind Yourself Often Of The Negative Consequences Of Making Love Before Marriage, Or Of Lovemaking Outside Marriage
Cast your mind back and recall women in your family, neighborhood, and church who have engaged in illicit lovemaking, and who have suffered negative consequences as a result of their action. Let it remind you that making love to someone you are not married to, or making love to someone other than your spouse, can impact your life negatively, and that can have a deterrent effect on you and make you do your best to manage your desire, such as talking to a trusted friend or finding ways to get your husband to satisfy your desires.
Fast When You Are Severely Tried
I remember times in my past when I used to feel like going out to make love to a girl. It could grow very strong at times. Anytime I felt the feelings were overwhelming me, I fasted and that helped me to control myself.
Therefore, when you are sorely tried and you feel as though you can’t control the urge, fast. When you are fasting, read your Bible and pray and God will strengthen your spirit and help you to withstand that urge.
Go To Church Often
This is another activity that helped me to control my desire when I was younger. As you listen to sermons that warn you about the consequences of disobeying God and having illicit lovemaking, as you hear the testimonies of people who also have struggles with lovemaking, but who overcome it by the grace of God, you will be motivated to continue living a chaste life, or you will be encouraged to continue to be faithful to your spouse, and that will make it easier to say “NO! to thoughts that try to tempt you to satisfy that desire in the wrong setting and at the wrong time.
These words of wisdom for daughters, and for wives, will help you to steer clear of trouble so that you can avoid infections that are transmitted as a result of that act, out-of-wedlock pregnancies, the painful consequences of a broken marriage, a guilty conscience and so on and you will enjoy your life and your marriage better.
Words of Wisdom for Daughters
Have you fasted before?
© 2017 Isaac Yaw Asiedu Nunoofio