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11 Terrible Marriage Proposals

Updated on June 3, 2016

"My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me" - Winston Churchill

Well, Winston, I'm pretty sure you did a better job than the fellas below.

Let's take a look, shall we?


Why Buy the Cow When You Get the Milk for Free?

Never mind that saying, why not buy the cow to express your love for the milk?

Er, um that didn't come out right. Must have been the hormones.


I Dip!

I mean, I do.

Nothing says classy like a can of Grizzly dip with a ring in it. Methinks the future holds a mouth with a bit of cancer in it, too.

In sickness and in health, right?


More Like Bloomin' Fun-ion

Awww, look how easily that ring will glide right onto her finger.
That's not gross at all.


Pepperoni Proposal

The four food groups: bread, cheese, meat, and love.


It's Not Delivery

It's your proposal.

This guy is a thrifty lil' feller. Going all frozen pizza Casanova Chef on her. I hope you paused Netflix to say yes.


Take Me to Church

For a six-piece and a ring.

Shineka, you are one lucky 'chick'.


Taco Hell

Mild sauce for a mildly creative approach to proposing. For those who don't want to 'think', just go South of the Border.


Every Step You Take......

Every move you make....

I'm thinking this guy has only seen her a couple times-- through her window. Who does this?


Love Lasts Forever

So does a tattoo......and a no. At least the wrist tattoos are reusable. Smart thinking, for a dummy.


Happy You?

They say ignorance is bliss. You clearly are very 'merry'.


Abnormal Results

It's not HPV, it's a ring.

In Case You Want More.....

Now it's your turn. Share your stories. Have your proposals been this classy and creative? Or, did this list inspire your upcoming proposal?

Praytell in the comments below.


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    • Tara Mapes profile image

      Tara Mapes 2 years ago


    • Say Yes To Life profile image

      Yoleen Lucas 2 years ago from Big Island of Hawaii

      I read about a ring that was put in a hot dog at a buffet picnic. The bride said yes.

    • Besarien profile image

      Besarien 2 years ago

      I'm right there with RJ Schwartz. Avoid gimmicks and crowds. Take her/him to a romantic setting- ocean at sunrise/sunset, a private candlelit dinner, picnic at an scenic overlook at mid-day. Have a nice ring in a nice box, get down on one knee if your health permits it. "I love you. Will you marry me?" No long intros, no bells, no whistles, no jokes, no begging, no skywriting, no giving the proposal to the caller at a square dance. No writing it on her new car in shaving cream which can ruin the paint. This was a really fun hub though. Something about the blooming onion was even more cringe-worthy than the poor painted cow or the dip can.

      MizBejabbers, Except for the actual myocardial infarction, it is a wonderful story. If only such acts of kindness were the cornerstones of every marriage.

    • Tara Mapes profile image

      Tara Mapes 2 years ago

      Ooooh, your proposal definitely wouldn't make THIS list! Good for you! Thanks for sharing, reading, and hopefully smiling :)

    • RJ Schwartz profile image

      Ralph Schwartz 2 years ago from Idaho Falls, Idaho

      My proposal to my wife was of the romantic planned type (balcony of a hotel room overlooking the ocean on Grand Bahama island...) This was a great compilation and I'm still smiling - thanks for sharing it.

    • Tara Mapes profile image

      Tara Mapes 2 years ago

      Oh My Gosh! That is hysterical! Not the heart-attack part! The ending! Sometimes love doesn't need a big production. I presume you 'just know'. :)

    • MizBejabbers profile image

      Doris James-MizBejabbers 2 years ago

      These are funny, except for the last one, which was icky. Re: the tattoos Even if she says "yes" the tattoos are backdated, so that's a lame idea.

      Share my story, EVERY WORD IS TRUE, here goes:

      We had been dating only six weeks when it occurred. We were on the lake when a gust of wind turned over our rented catamaran. After we righted the catamaran and recovered as much of our stuff as we could, including my boyfriend's pants and only one of his shoes, he started having chest pains. (We were in bathing suits and he had brought his clothes on the boat) Anyway, I took him to his doctor's office not the emergency room, wet pants, shirtless, one shoe, and all the embarrassment of sitting in the waiting room half-dressed. The doctor immediately hospitalized him with a suspected myocardial infarction. Yup, it was a heart attack, and he remained in the hospital for over a week. One day he made the sincere statement that he didn't know how he was going to manage after he was released.

      I rounded up his friends and, without his knowledge, they moved him out of his rented house into mine. He was shocked, but he seemed pleased at the same time. We lived together for nearly a year before we finally married. There was no proposal that I remember. We kind of drifted into making it permanent.

      As I told one of my single girlfriends how to catch a man, "Give him a heart attack, move him in and then you've got him!"