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Would You Look at Your Mother That Way?

Updated on April 19, 2016

My observation of fellow patrons at a dining establishment recently led to this blog. I was out to eat with my dearest companion and love. It was a buffet-style restaurant, so like any other patron, we served ourselves. As we walked from our table and back to it, I noticed a table full of males of varying age, on lunch break from some sort of labor job, by the looks of them. This is a common sight at almost any eatery here. What caught my attention was not their presence but the blatant ogling I received from the table occupants, one guy in particular.

By nature, I am an introvert. I have extroverted tendencies and can be at ease in a social setting with a lot of people, but if I had my choice, I would be able to hole myself up in an intimate environment with people I handpicked to join me, because public association is exhausting. I do not enjoy being the focus of attention, so the unwanted, unwarranted attention from a strange male does nothing positive for me.

It does, however, piss me off. As I returned to the table on my own with a plate, I met the eyes of the guy who had repeatedly and unapologetically ogled me several times already. I glared back at him with a hardened expression. Usually, this does the trick. Usually this makes the individual acutely aware of the fact that I have noticed his attention and do not appreciate or reciprocate it. Usually. However this guy continued to unabashedly stare back with a dull and inconsiderate expression.

Creeper. | Source

You're a creep

The presence of the lovely gentleman who accompanied me was the only thing that kept me from the knee-jerk response which would have otherwise been my next response to this creep. It would have been something like this: "Hey. Stop staring at me! Would you like it if a guy ogled your mother or sister that way? The fact that you appear to have no shame in your behavior makes me think, maybe you would ogle your mother or sister that way. You disgust me. The way that you look at me and probably at many other women is not a turn-on or a compliment. You probably spend many nights alone due to your utter inability to develop any sort of social graces. I also assume you are incredibly stupid (this I glean from your aforementioned lack of social skills and dull expression) and quite possibly have an inferiority complex due to your physical and testicular failings. I would appreciate it if you would refrain from staring at me in the future. If you continue to disrespect me, I will use my skills as a researcher to track down your name, information, Facebook, car and job and then be sure to notify every female in your life of your creepy, disrespectful behavior."

Women Assaulted Speak Out

Stalkers Deserve To Be Kicked...or Hit...or Arrested.

Stalking is a crime. Not a flirtation device.
Stalking is a crime. Not a flirtation device. | Source

Dear patriarchy, can you just stop? Please?

These men's behaviors are a symptom of the society in which we live. Let's break down a few statistics on gender bias:

Women make up more than 50 percent of the U.S. population but comprise merely 1/5th of Congress. There are now 104 females and 430 males in Congress.

More than 85 percent of brand purchases are made by women, but only three percent of advertising agency creative directors are women. I know this one from personal experience. I was laid off for being pregnant and forced to train my male replacement. Sadly, this was done by a female CEO, who hired me knowing I was pregnant.

Although we comprise the majority of the population, we have negligent representation.

  • We are overlooked for jobs when we are more qualified than the male candidates, unless the company needs to meet a quota.
  • We are blamed for being victims
  • We are harassed on the street
  • We are harassed in restaurants
  • We are harassed online
  • We are told to be thankful if someone compliments us and are attacked if we are not
  • We are punished for being/becoming mothers

Did you know that the United States is the ONLY developed nation that does not offer paid maternity leave? It is insane to me how expensive child care is, but how stay-at-home mothers are looked down upon. Who is better suited to stay with their children all day? A mother or some babysitter or day care teacher who has 14 other children to watch?

"I'm not saying she deserved it, but..." This kind of victim-blaming is what is wrong with our society. No matter how a woman dresses, she doesn't deserve to be harassed. She is not "asking for it." She is not seeking your attention. Surprisingly enough, women get dressed for themselves.

Asking For It: NYU Local Explores Street Harassment

Catcalling is for CATS

A picture of street harassment.
A picture of street harassment. | Source

In allowing sexist behavior, we fail ourselves

It is disturbing that women have to defend themselves against sexual assault and harassment on public streets and in public transportation.

We have failed ourselves. We are no better than nations governed by religious law. We have created a culture of excuse wherein we blame the victim instead of the perpetrator.

What REAL Men Say to Catcalling Creeps

What Men Are REALLY Saying When They Ogle and Catcall Women

What do you think?

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    • peachpurple profile image


      4 years ago from Home Sweet Home

      at first i thought this hub was about mothers, now I know it is about the stalkers

    • indiabbie profile imageAUTHOR


      4 years ago from Texas

      Thank you for reading. It's utterly depressing. The U.S. requires businesses with more than 50 employees to offer unpaid maternity leave. Businesses with fewer than 50 employees do not have to let an employee have any time off at all, and there's not a single law requiring a company to provide paid maternity leave.

      It's shameful.

    • Dr Pran Rangan profile image

      Dr Pran Rangan 

      4 years ago from Kanpur (UP), India

      Thanks for a nice hub. Such incidences of harassment of women are seen everywhere in any country. Your statistics are so true. I did not know that the US does not offer paid maternity leave.


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