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Would You Rather Have a Man That is Desperate or a Man Who is Frustrated/Angry?

Updated on May 12, 2013

In today's society, many women have often been taught to go for a man that has confidence in life. They are also being told to not go for a man who is so desperate in life to be in a relationship with a girl. Not only does society teach our women to act in that kind of way when it comes to choosing which men to date but women themselves always feel that they have to be with a man with great confidence. It is a natural thing for the majority of women to be turned off to men who are so desperate. They have every right to feel that way because men, in general, are supposed to be the leader and nurturer of the relationship.

But you have to understand that not all men exhibit those main traits. Men who feel desperate and emotional always have reasons to be that way. Men do have emotional needs to be met also. But the work that has to be done to pursue those needs are more daunting than the women that get every opportunity to have their emotional needs met. And when the needs of men are not met, it can lead to loneliness and depression where the focus of other matters in life can be lost. Worst, it can lead to frustration and anger, resulting in men committing acts of violence whether physical or verbal.

A man who is desperate to be loved is actually a positive trait. A desperate man is willing to love the girl no matter what. He is ready to be committed to the relationship. He would treat the woman with love and respect. He is willing to communicate. That's what real men do when they are in love with their woman. But why be so desperate in the first place? There are many reasons behind that kind of attitude. It is possible that the desperate man has never been in a relationship in his entire life. Majority of the time, they have tried unsuccessfully to form that special bond. And often times, when the man fails but sees another man manage to form that bond with the same woman, it hurts him so badly that he thinks he is a failure, the same way that a woman would feel when her man starts to lose interest in her. In most cases, men has had experiences when it came to approaching women early in their lives, particularly in their teen years. The desperate men most likely had women that misunderstood them when it came to expressing their interest to them. Oftentimes, expressing their "love" right away resulted in women being turned off and not wanting to deal with them. Sometimes those desperate men would be called "creeps". The thought of being called a creep can affect the mind and emotion of the man, and it can lead to many men like this to have a hard time to approach women. The confidence level goes down and becomes hard to regain that kind of confidence. It's not wrong for women to think like that about desperate men. Women can feel vulnerable and it's not their fault that many in today's society houses real creeps and perverts who prey on women for their sexual needs. But women have to understand that men are vulnerable too. And real good men are getting a bad reputation on sexual crimes being committed by real bad men. In a sense, women have to start using their senses on which men are good and which men are bad. It will be surprising to know that bad men are the ones that had a beginning with bad relationships with family, friends, and women and having been felt that they were a failure. Hence how it all goes back about the loneliness leading to frustration and violence.

If the trend continues where women continually turn down desperate men, they will have a much bigger challenge when a lot of men exhibit anger and violence. And women will be so hurt that society will crumble because of that. That can be one of the reasons, not the main one. So ladies, as a suggestion, go for a man that is desperate. Try it out. He means very well for you and he just wants to have a loving relationship with you. And when you do that, then you can help him build more confidence and to properly let him know his weaknesses that got him off on the wrong foot. I'm sure he will respect you for that and he will love you more. That will show that you care about him and he will appreciate it. If that doesn't work, then it's all up to you on how you can work the relationship. Relationships take work and proper communication. It's not a one time performance and the rest is happily ever after. We all need to work on our relationships. The question is how are you gonna start it and are you going to seek out for your own happiness only or to help the other person's happiness?

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      Deandra 2 years ago

      That's a wise answer to a tricky qusiteon

    • abrodech profile image

      Anya Brodech 3 years ago from 130 Linden St, Oakland, California, 94607

      Obviously, violent angry men are bad and should be avoided in romantic relationships because there is a serious risk of physical, verbal, emotional, and sexual abuse towards their partner.

      However, there are different variations of desperation in men.

      Women get turned off by men who are "desperate" because it makes them seem like they don't care about themselves at all and have low self-esteem. You don't want to be with someone who hates themselves and believes that they aren't worthy of love because honestly it is an incredibly difficult barrier to overcome, especially if you have not be trained in psychology and/or aren't willing to attend couple's therapy sessions with your partner.

      Whatever your situation in life, it is important to be able to love yourself first and recognize that everyone is worthy of love!

      Once you are able to love yourself and believe that you deserve to be love, other people will see that you are someone that they can be with, because when it comes down to it, if you don't like yourself, then why should anyone else?

      Self-love is the first, and sometimes most difficult step, on the road to romantic love and happiness.

      If you want to be in a relationship and meet someone, don't be with them just so you can be in a relationship! You have to actually like the person for WHO they are and because you have shared interests and feel comfortable with one another. Being with someone, just to be with someone never works out well, because sooner or later one of you will catch on and you will both end up miserable.

      Just wait patiently and stay open-minded. It's best to focus on developing and creating new friendships and letting them blossom into romantic love, rather than just trying to jump into dating right away, because it ends up being a much more rewarding and gratifying experience in the end for both of you! :)