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Would you let your spouse cheat to save your relationship or marriage

Updated on February 19, 2011

How much do you love your spouse?

I was ask this question the other day, and had to ponder my answer carefully. There seems to be a deeper part of this question than what you see on the surface. I was sure I would say no in the beginning, but now I'm not so sure.

Consider this; If you are a male and had prostate cancer and could no longer function in the bedroom, would you deprive your spouse from satisfaction? What if you were in a horrible accident and was paralyzed would you be so selfish as to deprive your partner of a sexual life?

If you are a female and something happened that you could no longer have sex, would you expect your partner to do the same? Some would, others would just turn a blind eye to the obvious and pretend that sex is just not that important.

Though religious moral beliefs may dictate your decision, that doesn't eliminate the question or thought process involved. Human instinct to interact with other people doesn't just disappear. Why do you think people cheat in relationships? You can have an other wise perfect relationship, but if doesn't include sex, people will seek it out.

I know the answer to this question may also depend on ones age. I would contend that a couple in their 20's, 30's and 40's would seek out sexual companionship more than a couple in their 60's and beyond.

See the answers is not so easy anymore. I would hate to think that I would be so selfish that I could not let my spouse continue to have a satisfying sex life. This can happen at any age, some might say just let your partner move on with their life, but if you love each other and enjoy being with each other in every other aspect, is that really the answer?

I would appreciate your comments or to hear your point of view on this. I am still pondering this deeply. Though I have written several articles on saving relationships and infidelity, this question is probably the toughest I've had to answer.

would saving the family be worth it?


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    • profile image

      spouse cheat 

      8 years ago

      Listen.. no matter how you put it, there is no way cheating can help let alone save a relationship.. if you want a glimps of what cheating does to your relationship get in - its a website which helps people in a relationship get concrete evidence of their spouses cheating on them.

      it's pretty shocking..

    • IntimatEvolution profile image

      Julie Grimes 

      8 years ago from Columbia, MO USA

      In the situations in which you listed, I don't view it as cheating. Cheating means sneaking around behind your spouses back. If your spouse knows about it, and has given their consent, I don't think it would be cheating. I mean, do you normally call gifts your spouse gives to you a "cheat?" No, I'm sure you call them gifts.

      See I view it like this...., if either my husband or I could no longer perform our spousal duties, and therefore gave our spouse free will to have sex with someone else, well I would call that a gift. It is probably the greatest act of love a person can give. That's my view anyways.

    • Janna Jones profile image

      Janna Jones 

      8 years ago

      I realize that cheating in a relationship is a very emotional time. Women think they are somehow not good enough...its their fault the husband went someplace else. Men think of it as more like someone just took my 'stuff'.

      I somehow think its really neither. The 'Tree Hugger's' of the world want us to believe that there is no God and we are just another animal. Yet when men act like a typical animal...Tree Hugger's curse men to the extreme.

      I saw a History channel story on monkeys...The Ape male kept a whole group of females. In fact, up to recent always had multiple wives, concubines and/or mistresses...It wasn't cheating then...but last 100 society has changed, so have we.

      As for me...two thoughts about cheating on the spouse.

      1. Aids and all the related problems...and you can bring it back to your spouse...

      2. As to your preface above...

      a. Bible (actually Jesus) says only reason for divorce is infidelity

      b. For richer and poorer, in SICKNESS and in health, till death do us part!

      How important is your word?

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      After a recreational vehicle accident I was paralyzed from the chest down which began the downfall of my marriage because in her mind we went from husband and wife to caretaker and patient. I had an aide to help me get up and in my chair each morning and back to bed at night. I was fine during the day if I was home and alone.

      As much as I tried she lost all thoughts of intimacy and couldn't or wouldn't see the forest for the trees.

      Neither of us were getting what we needed and she took the kids and moved into her boyfriends house.

      The only thing that has changed is the date on the calander.


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