Wow, found my soulmate. What to do with my spouse?
Never say never.
This has always not ever been a consideration, thought, or need in my life. Married for 15 years. 5 children. That in itself is enough to consume every minute that a day has to offer. My marriage good, not perfect. What I would call average. Two full time working parents with a basketball team of children. Always on the go. Still, always found time for each other once children tucked in for night.
So, on a trip home to visit family with just children and it happened. Always meet up with old friends. Once a summer actually. How is it that this man that I have known from the 6th grade rubs elbows with me and it turns into LOVE like I have not ever experienced in my entire 37 years of life. For him the same. We have always been in casual contact thanks to social networking. But never in a million years could I imagine my heart beating for another man. One that I am not married to. One that is married himself. From the rubbing of elbows? Please do not judge. I may have been one of those people to judge before I experienced this.
So this trip back home led to us seeing each other casually 3 times before I returned home. Innocent play dates with kids. Lunch. Even a movie. But the hug goodbye, talk to you whenever was the biggest eye opener I have ever had in my lifetime. From that day on, I have not missed a day of talking with this man. And we are going on 8 months. Texted the whole way back down south. Talked daily about day to day life. Laughed at the same sick humor most would not get. Was returning back north to pick up kids that I left with grandparents. Could not wait to see him again. At this point, we both agreed that we were long lost best friends. Nothing sexual. Gosh,both married with kids and both our spouses knew of our growing friendship and need to talk. Not that they were "happy", but it was ok. Texting turned into daily face to face phone chats. Oh, how I just loved to see him. And just talk nonsense. My feelings grew so deep so fast. And so did his.
Fast forward to the trip back to get kids. This man that I now call my soul mate, became the love of all loves. Love I didn't even feel on my wedding day. We met the very first night there back home. Alone. In an apartment (furnished) that was his grandmother's (deceased). Talked for hours over a bottle of wine. Then it happened. We kissed. And I mean we kissed. I never felt a kiss from the tip of my head to the bottom of my toes before ever. And I don't think I need to mention what happened from there that night. About 4 times. Or going into NY to broadway and dinner and having the time of our lives. Both of us catholic. Attending church together holding hands in the pew. And feeling as though god has blessed us both in the most amazing way ever. Finding your true best friend. Lover. Soul mate. Euphoria that has never ever been experienced by either one of us until this moment.
Then realizing the true short comings in our marriages. Both of us married in early 20's. Never experienced adulthood single. Married too young for foolish reasons. What to do with what we have found in one another and what we have lost in our spouses. To be continued.........