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Updated on September 22, 2016
kmartel profile image

K.D. Martel is a writer, published author and artist working from her studio in the province of Québec, Canada.

For All the Women Out There Who Have GoneThrough Some or More of the Listed Items Below!

I wrote this not to long ago while going through a one-sided relationship just to be able to make myself see all the bad things that were going on. In reality, this is a compilation of 3 relationships I went through over the past year. Some of my friends and people I known have gone through the same thing, so I hope this helps any gals (or guys too) that are living the same reality...WAKE UP! loll!

You Know A Relationship is One-Sided WHEN....

  • You are the only one giving out compliments all the time.
  • You are the only one telling him how adorable his is and it seems to bother him after a while.
  • Goes out with friends, but never asks you out for a drink, dinner or movie!
  • He says he's coming over and doesn't show up at all.
  • Doesn't call unless you call first and initiate the call, THEN he calls you back.
  • Doesn't give you any news for a few days, and only because you called asking for news! (Probably forgot about you...)
  • when you try to reach him doesn't answer his phone. then, the same excuses: (that you always hear: "oops, sorry, forgot my phone at home, in the car, at work, battery is dead, etc, etc.)
  • You still end up spending your Friday and Saturday evenings alone.
  • Sleeps over, doesn't offer to go out for breakfast (or make you some..loll!), and leaves early saying he has things to do on a beautiful day.
  • When you ask him if he wants to do something or go somewheres, the answers are never spontaneous, but long in coming, you know right away he doesn't want to be with you for anything else. he has a life AND you are not in it...
  • He tells you constantly (to remind you and make sure you DON'T forget), he likes being single, doesn't believe in love, was hurt so many times in the past, his ex's really screwed him up, he's not in a hurry, yet you find out a whiles later he's met someone new and is totally in love!!
  • Then you realize that it was all bulls--t he was telling you! (Damn..makes us feel like a total nerd)
  • He rather spend his outings with his friends than you.
  • He doesn't have you meet his family.
  • Doesn't say goodby when he leaves...
  • You still end up passing special occasions alone, Valentine's day, Easter, Christmas, your birthday...


**if you liked this article, check out my others and enjoy!

© 2008 K D Martel


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    • profile image

      shona 4 years ago

      hey kmartel..... I feel so much better after reading this... great job thanks

    • kmartel profile image

      K D Martel 6 years ago from Quebec, CANADA

      89sodeded: I don't read any of the Women's magz at all, my reading is done through real books on the markets by experts in the field. Believe me, I have done the research trying to find BOOKS, and they are few and far between..honestly, I don't go for the flavour of the week advice given by the magazines.

    • profile image

      89sodeded 6 years ago

      kmartel wrote: "If it was just as much as with women, wouldn't there be just as many articles, books, etc out there for men as there is with women?"

      Do you take into consideration that maybe just aren't that much into reading advice from a complete stranger from books and magazines? You do realize most women's magazines are full of crap that can never be applied in real life?

      Doesn't mean women do it less or that men do it more. A fact.

    • profile image

      Vogue 6 years ago

      I would like to add a generalization to this. The non-givers/users always like to behave one way and expect you to behave appropriately. They use guilt, double talk, and diversion to weasel out of any confrontation. And they are incapable of taking any ownership or responsibility for any of their actions. Just my experience. ;)

    • kmartel profile image

      K D Martel 6 years ago from Quebec, CANADA

      Male guy: she's just not that into you, find someone who will be..that is my experience and advice! Good luck!! :)

    • profile image

      Male guy! 6 years ago

      it says there pretty much everything.. though it pains me to see every exact word i experience in our relationship.. i don't know how to handle this kind of situation,

      also, i would like to add one thing,

      -he/she is in a better mood towards others than you yourself..


    • profile image

      6 years ago

      I agree w/ all the above. When ppl don't give back, that's what I call a LOUSE!!!

    • profile image

      experience 6 years ago

      I once knew a family who owned a funeral home. We all live & learn, & I went thru a 1-sided relationship myself. The needs never gave back during the entire

      MANY yrs I invested in them. I only hung on so long b-c I thought there was hope of change that I learned would never come. I actually wasted many yrs throwing my treasures in2 what i'd eventually learn was a black hole. Coming 2 the good-bye point was the hardest since they originally WERE supposed 2 b part of my life.

    • kmartel profile image

      K D Martel 7 years ago from Quebec, CANADA

      Posh, I'll send the energy your way to do so!! You deserve so much better!!! :)

    • profile image

      posh 7 years ago

      this is exactly what im going through, he doesn't turn up when he has promised to come check up on me and i spent thw whole day waiting for him....its so upsetting to even think about how unappreciated i am after putting so much effort in this relationship. i hope one day i will have the guts to turn around and leave...for GOOD!

    • kachis profile image

      kachis 7 years ago from Lagos, Nigeria.

      I like ur posting. Well done!

    • RecoverToday profile image

      RecoverToday 7 years ago from United States

      A very honest and open message for all. I especially recognize the following sign you shared:

      "Doesn't call unless you call first and initiate the call, THEN he calls you back."

      "He says he's coming over and doesn't show up at all." and

      "Doesn't give you any news for a few days, and only because you called asking for news! (Probably forgot about you...)"

      These exact traits are the very thing I hear about the most. This is very common with players and con artists as well. I am glad you shared this bit of information. I know it will help someonne. I write on similar subjects. Very good article.

    • profile image

      Potigrover 7 years ago

      This is so what i'm going through at the moment. A year in the relationship and I spent xmas alone, my birthday alone, Valentine's Day alone and my pressies, well, they are still "at work".... I've not met any of his friends, nor his family, I don't even know WHERE he lives yet he has been to my home, my friends homes. He doesn't call for days at a time and then will finally call after i've called him and got his answer message....once more. He says he is busy with work.....well he must go home sometimes right? I'm at the end of my tether now and have just about had enough......time to get out ....

    • profile image

      gflix 7 years ago

      This is great information I have been in this relationship for a long time, for a long time i tot there was something wrong with me, i sent all the txt msgs, i did all the I love u,yr after yr i tot we did get married,suddenly I stopped sending txts, indeed she still does not send any either and does not even show care, the pattern is still same, am on d run right now out of the relatonship, but am going through a lot of emotions, i fear if true love exists i have developed relationship phobia, thanks for this info great eye opener, i now know am not the problem

    • kmartel profile image

      K D Martel 8 years ago from Quebec, CANADA


    • justmesuzanne profile image

      justmesuzanne 8 years ago from Texas

      Excellent, universal observations! This is why I am now a hermit!

    • kmartel profile image

      K D Martel 9 years ago from Quebec, CANADA

      Jason, yes, these things happen to guys too, I agree! However, it's on a smaller scale. If it was just as much as with women, wouldn't there be just as many articles, books, etc out there for men as there is with women? Take a look on the net, you'll find a much greater number (5:1) for literature dealing with this subject! :)

    • profile image

      Jason 9 years ago

      Why are all these things wording like the guy/male is the bad guy and always doing these things? Girls do this shit all the time too. I just finally came to grips and got out of a relationship with a girl that was one-sided. I was the only one making an effort and putting myself out there for her emotionally, and she treated me like I was just one of her handbags. She only used me to be her shrink

    • kmartel profile image

      K D Martel 9 years ago from Quebec, CANADA

      true true true Jenny, I agree 100%% all the way with u!!! Good luck, I wish you the best in the new year!!

    • profile image

      Jenny 9 years ago

      All of the above. matter of fact i am spending xmass and new year alone, cause he kept saying he will get back with me about the plans i suggested. came to find out he will be with his family. same thing happenned on thanksgiving, and i don't know how many times he said he was coming over and never show up. when he is sick he wants me to pamper him, be there all the time, and when i get sick he would tell me i am looking for attention, he actually told me why was i telling him i was sick, can't i just call the doctor. SO, I HAD ENOUGH OF IT, AND I AM STEPPING OUT OF THIS RELATIONSHIP. for everybody out there, RUN when a relationship is one-sided, it will never change, and it will kill you!

    • kmartel profile image

      K D Martel 9 years ago from Quebec, CANADA

      I hope so Izettl!! Thanks so much 4 the comment!!

    • izettl profile image

      Lizett 9 years ago from The Great Northwest

      Great hub! So true and such good info. hopefully lots of people see and learn through this hub.

    • kmartel profile image

      K D Martel 9 years ago from Quebec, CANADA

      thanks Nicole, it comes from the heart and what I went through, and for sure, many out there are going through the same thing, men and women too! Thanks!

    • Nicole Winter profile image

      Nicole A. Winter 9 years ago from Chicago, IL

      Wow, what an eye-opener for men and women everywhere, kmartel. Your list is "right on" and I'm so happy you had the gumption to sit down and type this all out while you were going through this. It's certainly an eye opener!