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Ya picked a fine time to leave me, Lucille!
How does God view marriage?
“Let marriage be honorable among all, and the marriage bed be without defilement, for God will judge fornicators and adulterers.” (Heb. 13:4)
Seems pretty cut and dry, huh? God is the originator of marriage, and so He views marriage as sacred. With that being said, don't you think God also wants us to be happy in our marriage? When you're dating, everything is so happy and fun and full of awesomeness, you get all giggly and dreamy when he asks you to marry him, you plan the wedding, go on your hunnymoon and then everything is hunky-dory.
Right. And I'm gonna make a million dollars off of this blog.
Things go well for awhile, you play house, you make his favorite dinner, he takes you out dancing, you're all lovey-dovey all the time, you find yourself making out in the canned food aisle at Aldi, the two of you are like a bliss sandwich.
"Honey! Did you get the positive pregnancy test I packed with your lunch today??"
So in the beginning you're puking your guts up and you miss work and you can't go out dancing or drinking and the very THOUGHT of making out makes you wanna hurl (since that's exactly what got you into this mess in the first place) so now hubby is living the "for better or for worse, yadda yadda" vow.
When the twins come, you're exhausted and he's wanting to jump out the 2nd story window and you're feeling frumpy and unattractive because you had a c-section and your boobs are leaky and he feels neglected because the twins get more of you than he does... (deep breath) and going out with the guys for a beer or three is looking better and better by the minute.
But what does God say about the roles of a husband and wife?
Colossians 3:18 & 19 says You wives, be in subjection to your husbands, as it is becoming in the Lord. You husbands, keep on loving your wives and do not be bitterly angry with them.
There it is in black and white, yet this reminds me of when a parent tells a child for the umpteen billionth time to clean their room or brush their teeth or stop bullying their sibling. Just because you hear it doesn't mean it's going to be heeded. What if, after many years of marriage, children, etc, the husband and wife get so comfortable with each other that they start using "abusive speech" towards each other? Instead of saying please and thank you, orders are barked and snide and sarcastic tones are the norm. Since when do we act like that with someone we deeply (or once deeply) love? Do we speak this way when we're with our best friend? Shouldn't your spouse be your best friend? Ephesians 4:31 & 32 say to put away from yourselves every kind of malicious bitterness, anger, wrath, screaming, and abusive speech, as well as everything injurious. But become kind to one another, tenderly compassionate, freely forgiving one another just as God also by Christ freely forgave you. Again, we all know what we SHOULD do, but when we're in that moment of anger or frustration or I've just (insert expletive here) had it with you, we aren't thinking about how we should be acting like Snow White and Prince Charming.
What about divorce? How does God view the treacherous ending of His sacred institution? Malachi 2:16 should come as no shock, for God said "I hate divorce", and the one who covers his garment with violence. God is just and loving and forgiving and all words that are kind, yet He uses the word "hate" in this scripture. Hate is a pretty strong word. The Oxford Dictionary says "intense or passionate dislike". We get the idea.
A great book of the Bible to read is Ephesians. It talks about the family and who has what role and how we can best live our role to be good husbands, wives and children. Not only does this make for a calmer, more loving and respectful household, it brings honor and glory to God Himself, and the results bring happiness and rich blessings. God understands that sometimes there will be quarrels, disagreements, maybe even a tantrum from a child, but the important part is not letting that fester into something ugly. If each and every member of your household upholds his and her own role in the family, you may just live happily ever after.