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Yes to the Dress or The Man? Which is it?

Updated on May 29, 2012
She said yes to the dress, is that all she wanted? What about the man?
She said yes to the dress, is that all she wanted? What about the man? | Source

Don't Lose Focus on The Man

With so many TV shows focused on couple’s preparing for marriage. I couldn’t help but wonder how many of these TV weddings end up in divorce? I don’t desire bad things on others, but if they are so focused on saying yes to the dress, ring, money spent, bridesmaids, and being bridezillas aren’t they losing focus on the relationship that will soon be a marriage?

I don’t watch any of these TV wedding shows, but I have grasped enough previews to get the objective of them, after all the title tells it all. Yes to the dress, well clearly here the woman is shopping for the right dress, to march down an aisle as lurking eyes are bestowed upon her to the completion of meeting her Prince Charming.

The concept of the show ; a team of specialists guides brides through the process of selecting, fitting, altering and delivering each flawless dress in time for the perfect day. This is done with drama filled scenes, but by the end of the show the dress fits perfectly.

Is this how the wedding will be and the marriage? Perfect? I have tried to Google the divorce rate of the people who agree to shows like this one. Yet there is little statistics given about those who don’t stay married long. It was posed on Facebook that women spend more time planning the wedding than focused on the union of being married. Ten hours of a week is a lot of hours to devote to planning venues, music, setting, food, wedding planner, church, colors, flowers well you get it. The list is never ending.

With the divorce rate being 48-51% on average here in the United States; in my personal opinion if this same time was allotted to building a solid foundation of the union just maybe the divorce rate would be lower or decline. If the couple spent quality time of the relationship and ensuring the growth of it, and less time discussing wedding details perhaps there would be less divorce rates. To ensure they revisit their foundation and how they have made it thus far they should discuss:

· How much they mean to one another

· There must be mutual respect for the thoughts, feelings, and opinions for each other. A relationship has to have an acceptance of differences to make it successful.

· Give priority to your partner’s preferences. Make sacrifices sometime to please them, which is something you do for those you love. This will make your partner feel that you are willing to do things to make them happy, even when you have to make a sacrifice.

These are just a few I agree with, the rest of the list can be found on

This leads to the question women losing focus on what marriage really is? Are they saying yes to the dress or the man they have stated they will love until death do them part? Many of know it’s never until death do them part, it’s until you can’t take anymore of what’s being dished out. How do they avoid being a statistic perhaps instead of focusing on weddings (which I call a big circus show) they will remember what has them to the point of looking at dresses. If they remember this they will be humble enough to know it’s about the union and not anything else.

There are a few books on relationships, Kevin Darne’ has a great book titled My Cat Won’t Bark which can be purchased on This book doesn’t tell you what to do, but it helps you discover the importance of a relationship and maintaining self-intuition in marriages.


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    • Mark Tulin profile image

      Mark Tulin 2 years ago from Santa Barbara, California

      I totally agree that some women spend too much time planning and preparing for the wedding and not enough time planning and preparing to live together. If the wedding involves teamwork for the bride and groom and not solely what the bride and her family wants, it will be a great wedding. And possibly a great marriage.

    • michememe profile image

      Miche Wro 5 years ago

      Exactly! One have to plan for the marriage not the dress.

    • profile image

      mefajf07300302 5 years ago

      Thanks for this! I couldn't agree more with Dashingscorpio, though your wedding should be a day to remember your marriage should be a lifetime filled with happiness... how is that one day spending thousands going to affect the lifetime of happiness

    • michememe profile image

      Miche Wro 5 years ago

      Thank you. You are welcome on the plug. I can't wait to finish reading it, so I can Hub about it.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 5 years ago

      Excellent hub! Voted up and useful.

      The wedding is just (one day) and marriage is supposed to be for life! Thanks for the plug on the book! I look forward to hearing more of your thoughts on it.