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Do People like being Around You?
Secrets of Good Relationship Building
What is the one quality about another human being that attracts you to them? Other than physical attributes that appeal to you, the number one quality you like in others is their ever optimistic attitude.
You may disagree at first but I want you to really think about that statement. Think about your pet that is always genuinely happy to see you. It wiggles, barks, wags its tail, meows, rubs against you, jumps up and tries to lick you to death. What is your reaction to that demonstrative reaction to your arrival, whether you have been gone an hour or ten days? After a trying, stressful day at work; try and tell me you are not looking forward to opening the door to your home knowing your “friend” will be so excited to see you.
The same visceral reaction takes place between humans every day. You have to go to the office and look forward to seeing Carol; she always has a smile, wants to know how you’re doing and really listens to your response. She always puts a positive spin on everything that happens during the work day. Your boss informs everyone that they will have to work this weekend and you’re not happy about that but you know Carol will say something like: “We’ll have fun doing such & such together on Saturday and then maybe we can then go out for a girl’s night out for a couple of hours.” Or she might say “This is a great way to get this work out of the way before next week. We’ll order pizza or something and have fun with it.” It might be something else but YOU know how positive she will be about the obvious inconvenience of having to work on Saturday. Carol is “people magnet”! She effortlessly makes people WANT to be around her because she is positive; she is more concerned about others than telling everyone all of her problems and makes everyone around her feel special. In fact I’ll bet you probably don’t know a whole lot about her private life at all. You might be a new employee or a veteran at the company but still doesn’t know that much about Carol.
See the similarities your response between your pet and Carol? We all would rather talk about ourselves. It is easier to complain and gripe than find the ray of sunshine in each challenge we face daily. Ultimately here are some simple ways to make yourself more attractive to others:
1. Always be sincere in your compliments to others. Look at their eyes and say what you want to say.
2. Always ask the other person about their life and what’s going on with them.
3. The definition of a great conversationalist is that they be a great listener.
4. People do NOT want to hear about your problems. They have a bunch of their own to deal with.
5. To have friends you have to be a friend. Some will let you down but that’s the price of being friendly.
6. Do NOT gossip. If someone wants to tell you a secret. Tell them you are very bad a keeping secrets and would just as soon not be told a secret. (you can laugh at the same time) If you don’t know anything you can never be accused of telling secrets if you don’t know them.
7. Praise others accomplishments. (sincerely) Be happy for their little successes and encourage everyone to reach for their dreams.
8. Don’t be a dream killer, or naysayer. There are plenty of those kind of people around.
You can become a “People Magnet” very quickly when the people you are around discover that you are very comfortable to be around. According to studies in Sociology any relationship as long as the relationship is equally beneficial, the relationship will continue. When the equality shifts to one or the other, the relationship, unless this inequality is corrected, will come apart.
You can be short, fat, balding, not the greatest looking person in the world BUT if you light up a room with your smile and positive personality it makes no difference. People will want to be around you.