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How Couples Can Recover From 'Intimate Relationship' Breakups?

Updated on December 30, 2011
An intimate couple so much in love in better times
An intimate couple so much in love in better times | Source

Some Tips To Help You Live Through Your Sad times.

This couple certainly share the bliss of an intimate relationship.

Relationship brings much laughter, fun and enjoyment. Some enjoy very intimate relationship. But like every other good things that come to an end, love comes to an end for some. What happenes when the relationship turns sour?


Women deep in thought
Women deep in thought | Source

Being heartbroken sucks big time. Especially when you love someone so dearly and then something happens and you lose that person. Some run after, some just stand watching as he or she vanish into thin air. Those who experienced it wish it never happens again. Some recover from heart breaks quickly. Others take time to heal all the wounds.

My personal experience inspired me to write this hub and I hope it helps you. For me, it happened four years ago. But the pain is so real. Though I have moved on, the memories are unforgettable. I stood watching as she packed her belongings and walked out the door. I thought my world has come to an end. Loneliness and guilt overpowered me. I felt a very sharp pain that only my flesh can describe better if it were to talk. All of a sudden I realized I was so tiny in the whole universe. I wanted to run, cry and just die because the pain was so intense. Time has certainly healed my broken heart but it wasn't without effort. Here's some of the things I did to climb out of the deep tunnel life threw me into.

Understand why it happened.

In order to overcome a heart break, you have to know why it happened. You have to very honest with yourself and seriously determine cause of the breakup. This is going to be more painful but you have to if you want to live a normal life again and not being haunted by the shadows of your ex.


Photo frame
Photo frame | Source

Things like gifts, photographs and mementos are good reminders of ones appreciation of their love one. But when a relationship breaks, these very things do more damage than we imagine. They constantly remind you of your ex. Every time you see these things, you are remained of the good times you had together with your ex and then you regret losing him or her and that becomes very painful.

Avoid going to places you use to go with your ex.

If there was spot that you normally went out with your ex, Was it a restaurant, shopping mall, cinema or a particular spot were you and your ex use to watch sunset. Don’t go there. Why? You will only be making your pain severe if you visit those spots and be reminded of your ex. So stay away from it for now. You can still go there after you have fully healed your broken heart. Avoid music and videos you use to listen or watch together with your ex because they bring back lots of memories.

Avoid going to spots you use to go out with you ex
Avoid going to spots you use to go out with you ex | Source

Don’t try to contact your ex

Remove all the contact details of your ex. Emails address, phone numbers, face book etc. Never ever try to contact your ex because if you do, you might hear what you don’t want to hear. You will only injure your heart further so don’t try.

List all the bad qualities of your ex

Some people don’t agree with these but I think it only helps you get on with your new life. Knowing the bad qualities of your ex lover will help push you away from him or her.


Writing eases pain
Writing eases pain | Source

Writing is not only for publication. Writing opens the door to your heart. Heart breaks are so painful that no word can describe how one feels. Writing is like therapy to some. Some people write to express the pain in them. Write poems poetries and songs or eve a novel if you can. British psychoanalyst and author Darian Leader explains how creative works poetry, drama and literature helps a person get over sad times:

Go out and socialize

We tend to think a lot when we are alone. Avoid being alone. Those that isolate themselves from others during sad times like these are so vulnerable to suicidal thoughts and actions. Our thoughts easily get distracted when we are out with other people and doing something we like doing. Take up sports or visit family or friends. Develop interest in what others are doing.

Going out with friends
Going out with friends | Source

Expect new Love

The law of attraction says, what you think about a lot eventually manifests. So expect new love to come into your life. Think back to the very first time your ex lover set eyes on you and fell in love with you. What were your looks and attitude like that attracted your ex. Work hard to regain that status back.

Final words

They say time is the healer but if you don't make an effort to heal yourself, you will never recover from broken heart. Change will only come about if you desire it and work for it. If you find this hub useful and want to share your experience or give more advice, please do so



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    • ytsenoh profile image

      Cathy 5 years ago from Louisiana, Idaho, Kauai, Nebraska, South Dakota, Missouri

      Thank you for this hub. I voted it up because you offer very sound and healthy advice. My 11 year relationship ended just 3 days ago so the effects of it are too fresh for me right now. But your hub helps. Thank you.

    • profile image

      Ian 5 years ago

      You welcome ytsenoh. Life itself is a good teacher. We learn from the aches and pains life presents us. Time will heal your heart and you will find your true love if that's what you desire. Believe it and work for it. Nothing is impossible unless we stop trying.

      Best regards.

    • thesingernurse profile image

      thesingernurse 5 years ago from Rizal, Philippines

      To add up to a wonderfully constructed personal account, DO NOT BE AFRAID TO CRY. Well at least you don't have to show it to people. Let yourself feel the loss and experience the process of grief. That I guess is one of the primary ways to move on. (Though grieving or crying over too much is unhealthy anymore.)

      Great hub! :)

    • Ian Dabasori Hetr profile image
      Author

      Ian D Hetri 5 years ago from Papua New Guinea

      thesingernurse. I totally agree with you. In fact I still recall vividly the moments I would just turn on the shower and let tears run freely with the water. A real healing experience. Than I would sing a tune I like best..smile...That's to say, it takes effort to bounce back from heart break. Thanks for dropping bye and commenting.

    • thesingernurse profile image

      thesingernurse 5 years ago from Rizal, Philippines

      No problem. Your hub is helpful. May those who hurt from heart break find refuge in reading your hub. :)

    • Ian Dabasori Hetr profile image
      Author

      Ian D Hetri 5 years ago from Papua New Guinea

      I share the same sentiment with you.

      happy holiday

    • thesingernurse profile image

      thesingernurse 5 years ago from Rizal, Philippines

      Happy Holidays as well. :) Have a great one!

    • Ian Dabasori Hetr profile image
      Author

      Ian D Hetri 5 years ago from Papua New Guinea

      Will you want it? That's the question many fail to answer. Not just in relationship but in any thing. Business, finance, career or just about anything. You have to want it. You have to desire it. Desiring something puts your mind into action. You mind then send the message to other parts of the body that you desire "change". So the body and mind coordinate your actions naturally to achieve the desired goals. Success in any endures starts in the mind.

    • profile image

      Zachary 5 years ago

      Thank you, thank you, thank you, a million times over for all the help and support you have given me.Dr.(gbocotemple@yahoo.com) Things between Leah and I are wonderful, she is so loving and caring, it has been magical and I owe you so much for your help, support and products. When this all began it seemed like an impossible dream and knowing all the circumstances surrounding it...it was.

    • Ian Dabasori Hetr profile image
      Author

      Ian D Hetri 5 years ago from Papua New Guinea

      Zachary

      Thank you. You are welcome

    • Deborah Brooks profile image

      Deborah Brooks Langford 5 years ago from Brownsville,TX

      Awesome hub...yes my writing helps me deal with so many of lifes problems.....I love writing..its great therapy...breakups are hard...so hard..I advise everyone to write about their past loves...you will feel better...lol..blessings to you new friend.debbie

    • Ian Dabasori Hetr profile image
      Author

      Ian D Hetri 5 years ago from Papua New Guinea

      Hi Debbie,

      I share the same sentiment with you here because to me, writing is like a medicine. thanks the blessings. I really appreciate your kind words.

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    • Ian Dabasori Hetr profile image
      Author

      Ian D Hetri 4 years ago from Papua New Guinea

      mercy,

      This is an inspiring comment. Thanks for courageously sharing it. Cheers.

    • profile image

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    • profile image

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      Mr.williams lee

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    • profile image

      mark Andersen 4 years ago

      This was even faster than I could dream of, dr.rivers(dr.rivershebalisthome@gmail.com). Thank you for taking time to listen to me and answering all my emails. I feel emotional strong again. My confidence is back and I see my future clearly. I am forever grateful for your help for re-uniting me with my old lover.

      mark Andersen, Seattle, new york

    • profile image

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