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You Saw It, Liked It, Put A Ring On It; Now What?

Updated on July 21, 2017

It was once said that a groom at a wedding is like a celery stalk in a Bloody Mary; not strictly necessary, but makes everything official. Traditionally, the groom's only duties were to choose his wedding party, have a big drunken blast the night before the wedding and still manage to show up on time and reasonably sober. Many men who have never planned anything more complicated than a Super Bowl party are tempted to just shrug and say "Anything you want, honey, is fine with me." A word of advice: Don't. Either she's completely burdened or an overbearing relative is forcefully taking choices out of her hands. Either way, she needs you now.

Together now, together forever.

This wedding is the start of a new life as a couple and should be handled as a couple. Don't stress out your sweetie by loading everything on her! Do remember, however, to divide the tasks. If your favorite flower is hops and you don't know the difference between ivory and ecru, let her handle that aspect. But do let the left hand know what the right hand is doing! If her bridesmaids are going to dress in sea-foam, you don't want to have your boys show up in vermillion ties and cummerbunds! You can take responsibility for booking a band or DJ if this appeals to you. Pick something sweet and romantic for your first dance together. Avoid anything inappropriate or overdone. Not naming names, but you should avoid a certain song written by a certain Tennessee gal that was covered by a certain R and B singer for the soundtrack of a certain film about a man whose eponymous occupation causes him to cross paths with a pop diva.

Find the right words.

Many couples today are writing their own vows. Time to let your inner poet shine! If your inner poet has the lights on dim, just opt for honesty. Nothing beats those three words "I love you". If you're using traditional vows or no vows, you may still be expected to give a toast. Toasts have to at least look casual and unrehearsed, but you can still think ahead about what you will say. If you can keep your "How we met" story to less than five minutes and not embarrass anyone, go with that. Otherwise, just concentrate on the future with her that you're looking forward to.

Need it, gotta do it.

Perhaps the practical side of wedding planning is more your speed. You can be the one who makes travel and lodging arrangements both for guests and for your honeymoon. You can schedule the photography sessions. In order to preserve this day, it's important to get a good set of photos. You can take over the budgeting if you're good with numbers. Oh, yeah, and you're getting married so there's the legal paperwork that has to be filled out, otherwise all you did was have a very expensive party!


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    • Melissa Maxwell profile imageAUTHOR

      Melissa Maxwell 

      18 months ago from Lafayette, Louisiana

      Some of this could be due to the fact that one tux looks pretty much like another tux, whereas wedding dresses are expected to be unique. I completely agree, it really comes down to what fits the couple.

    • dashingscorpio profile image


      18 months ago

      I think it really comes down to the couple.

      Some couples are fine with having a "destination wedding" as part of their vacation/honeymoon.

      A wedding can be as big or as small as two people want.

      In some instances the bride has been planning (her wedding) since age 9 and really just wants the groom to just show up.

      She along with her best friends and mother will handle the rest.

      In other instances {the couple} makes all of their decisions together. More often than not men are fairly easy going.

      No one talks about "Groomzillas" and there are no instances where would be groomsmen knock each other down racing to buy wedding tuxes like "the running of the brides".


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