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You WILL Reap What You Sow

Updated on December 14, 2012

Part 1

You know the verse..."A Man reaps what he sows." What does this mean? Does it mean if you plant(sow) strawberries you will harvest(reap) blackberries?

No. It means be careful of what you plant because it will come back to you. So you need to be constantly aware of what seeds you plant..Only speak of sweet and kind and gentle happenings. Do not go around damning people for what they do-only God can judge.

I know of what I speak. This is going to be painful and public but I feel this needs to be told.

I fear that I have lost my stepson because of my dealings with his mother. We haven't been playing nice for the past decade. Can I blame it all on her? No, I cannot. I have to take responsibility for my actions.

I married my husband before the ink had even dried on his divorce papers. In fact, we were married 36 hours after we were presented the divorce papers. We were in love and have been since we were in our teen years. We had lost touch with each other for 27 years but when we reconnected, it was like no time had passed.

He had a son from his prior marriage, Drew, a teenager. I had hit it big! I was getting a son and I didn't have to be pregnant. I didn't have to go through labor and delivery. I didn't have to change diapers. But I also missed the first smile, the first tooth, the first steps, the first day of school.

I tried to connect with his mother,Tipper, to let her know that I was not a threat to her and her relationship with him. I wanted to be part of raising this young boy into a man. I wanted to be a positive influence in his life. However, for whatever reason, she chose to exclude me (and occasionally the father) from the happenings in his life.

She started spreading lies about my husband, Matt,saying that he had "abused" her but no concrete examples were ever presented. She had become addicted to the internet and to chat rooms, according to her because Matt would not pay attention to her. He was working two and sometimes three jobs to cover her ever expanding credit card bills. Her addictions became so bad that she would spend hours on the net and neglect her children, one which was a foster child with cerebral palsy and was confined to a wheelchair.

We had offered to help her by taking the children but Matt "was committing adultery" and I was "fornicating" with a married man. Yes, we did live together before marriage.Yes, it was wrong but we have prayed and asked for God's forgiveness and that is something that is really between us and God. Am I proud of that fact? No, but we WERE in a committed monogamous relationship. We were supporting ourselves financially. There was a beautiful diamond ring on my left hand. We were attending church and receiving premarital counseling and as soon as they were divorced, we were married.

We all attended the same church and it was sad to look at her, looking at me with such hatred in her eyes. I went to the counseling team leader and asked for help and guidance. The counselor told us that she had spoken to the mother and that the mother would never agree to attend sessions...


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    • gretchen c profile image

      gretchen c 5 years ago

      Interesting read. Going to go read your others now... Voted thumbs up!