- Gender and Relationships»
You and I are not so different.
In my whole life and existence, I thought I was alone, I thought there could be no one else like me. In those moments, in those times, I knew I was alone. Friends, different people, families, they were there, but they never understood me, they never knew what I wanted, even though I had them, I was still alone. No one knew the way I think, the things I keep in my mind, the weird hobbies I have. They never know how to take care of me or make me feel better. Solitude was my only friend. Until came you, a normal person who seemed to stand out somehow, because you were me.
"Mom, am I the only one who thinks like this?"
I remembered asking my mother that question, her answer was silence. She didn't knew how to answer that, I bet she found someone like her, but she just don't know how to say it to me, because probably she can't find a person like me. I'm not unique, I don't stand out, I'm not different, but I feel that I am different, that there is no one else like me. That idea of alone, that you're the only one, makes you feel, lonely, sad, solitude. That scared me somehow, but I learned to live with it, because I have to continue on, without the other side me. And yet, you were there, my whole life, just different worlds, same time.
Now we could have endless conversations. We hide these conversations from others, because we know that they cannot understand the way we think. We are different from them, like aliens from another planet.
Finding each other took time and space, it took destiny and faith, it took galaxies and universes. In those moments when I was searching, no one understood what I was looking for. In those times that I was alone, no one knew why. I don't know if you searched, I don't know if you found someone else like yourself, but for me, you were the first of my kind. I never found someone else like me or you.
There is so much to know about you, because every moment I know about you is the more I know about myself. Its like the times I spent watching other people, watching the way they talk and interact, the way they would smile or cry, those moments are magnified to ours.
Every moment, every minute, every second, the times are there and we feel it. You feel it the same way I do. We feel things that other people don't, we think things that other people won't think about, because that's the way we are. We are not so different from each other, the closest we could possibly ever be.
We may have different worlds, different stories, but they all add up to us. The search, the moments, the loneliness, we may have both feel the same way, but we found each other, even though we are meant to be separated, far away from each other, never meant to be with each other, we know that we will always be there for each other. In different times and different places, in different worlds and universes, we find solitude with each other.
I never asked God for someone like you, I never did pray for you, but I guess he felt that I needed someone who could understand me, differently, from others.
You never did stand out, I thought you were just any normal person, that I could be friends with. I thought that you can't understand how I feel, how I think, how I act, what I do, I thought you were just going to be like them, but I found something that I didn't find on others, I found that you are weird. You acted differently, you seemed to be no one else I've met.
I never wanted to talk to you, I didn't wish for any moments with you, but I guess time felt that my life was wasted without someone like you.
Finding you was hard, because I guess I stopped searching for you. I guess you found me. The search was always there, I tried looking into others, into the depths of their hearts who they are, and who they want to be. What they want to do and what they want to change, the moments that take their breath away. None of them were the same as yours and mine. Simplicity was the answer. We found beauty in everything, we found life in normal human interactions, we found happiness in sadness, we found hope in darkness. All of these what we think and what we could possibly ever think about.
Wherever you are, whatever you will be, you will never be alone. You will find that person, your kryptonite, your sun, your fear, your courage, your strength and final weakness, your light, your darkness. You may have different worlds, different times, different dreams, different hopes, but you are the same. You will not care if your just friends or lovers, you will not care about your relationship, because as long as you are with that person everything seems better. Time will stop, your moments will stay. Both of you will be separated by society but in the chains, the links you made, you will be bounded once again in time.
I have found the first of my kind, the one that understands the way I think, the way I behave. I trust my everything to that person, we are not special, we have nothing in special, but we do have a reality, in which our worlds connect. In that reality we are special and we have something special, that is the beauty of our friendship.