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Your Game Is So Lame - Funniest Pick Up Lines - EVER

Updated on February 9, 2011

He Starts Getting Close To You, And Here It Comes....

Your body's name must be Visa, because it's everywhere I want to be.

Do you have a map? Cause I just got lost in your eyes.

if your left leg is halloween, and your right leg is christmas, CAN I COME IN BETWEEN HOLIDAYS?

My love for you is like diarrhea, i just can't hold it in.

If i said you had a hot body would you hold it against me?

Nice legs...what time do they open?

Um…I have a lotta money.

Hey baby, did you just break wind? Cuz you're blowing me away.

Heyy. Are you a parking ticket? Cuz you got fine written all over you

Do you work at subway? Because you just gave me a footlong!!!

Well here I am. What are your other two wishes?

You smell. Let's shower.

Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas.

Why don't you come sit on my lap and talk about whatever pops up.

I wish you were my homework so I could do you on the table.

I'm blind. Can you hold my stick and show me where to go?

Did you get those jeans on sale? Cause at my house their 100% off.

Excuse me miss, the word of the day is legs. Let's go back to my place and spread the word.

Let's do math. Add a bed, subtract your clothes, divide your legs and multiply.

You've been a very naughty girl. Now let's go to my room.

I would buy you a drink but I'd be jealous of the glass.

Are you an Advil. Cause I'd like to take you every 2-4 hours.

Baby I wear a size 14 in men shoes.

Do you want to thumb wrestle? Just with our tougues.

If I had a nickel for every time I saw someone beautiful as you, I'd have 5 cents.

I just wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning me down. I'm trying to make your day.

Sure it's just a needle but it moves like a sewing machine.

Is your dress felt? Would you like it to be?

You have something on your behind.... my eyes

Hey you look familiar. Have I seen you in my bed before?

I'm not saying your a dog or anything but do you want a bone?

Can I write your name on my forehead just in case I forget who's name I'll be screaming tonight and for the rest of the week?

You must be on the color guard cause you make my flag rise.

Is your name Daisy cause I wanna plant you right here?

I fell down and bumped my head when you walked in the room so I need your name and number for insurance purposes.

I wish I were a tear so I could start at your eyes, live on your face, and die on your lips.

Life without you is like a broken pencil, pointless.

Love is a sensation. Caused by a temptation. To feel penetration. A guy sticks his location. In a girl’s destrination. To increase the population. or the next generation. Did you get my explanation? Or do you need a demonstration?

You look like my first wife (how many wives have you had?).... NONE

Did I see you in that PORNO?

Baby if ever you and i break up ill help you move on. just go to google go to the search box and type tips on how to move on. Good Luck

Do you work at a lumberyard? Cause you just gave me wood.

Your eyes are as blue as my toilet water.

Let's make like carpenter's, first we get hammered. Then I nail you.

How long is your tongue? I just want to make sure I won't choke on it.

Your eyes are like wrenches, every time I look at them, my nuts tighten.

Think of a number between 1-10. You lose. Take your top off.

When do your legs open. Never! Good! Cause you're ugly.

Were you born a woman?

Can you help me go to the bathroom? My Dr. advised me not to lift anything heavy.

My magic watch says you don't have any underwear on. (She says, Yes I do). Opps it must be 15 minutes too fast again.

Hi, I don't think we've met. My name is Spongebob and I want to live in your Binkini Bottom.

Hey babe, there's a party in my pants and your invited.

Yeah baby, I'm checking you out like a library book.

Do you have a yeast infection cause you're making my bread rise?

Tell your boobs to stop staring at my eyes.

Hey did you ever catch that man, the one that hit you with the uglystick.

Hey I just saved a bunch of money on my child support by switching to condoms. Want to get in on the savings?

Those clothes look horrible on you. You look a mess. Take them off!


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