- Gender and Relationships»
- Non-Monogamous Relationships
Your Girlfriend Is My Girlfriend
"Excuse me but your girlfriend is my girlfriend."
It may sound a bit like a farce but in the bar worlds of Bangkok, Phuket and Pattaya then never was a truer word spoken in jest...well most of the time.
There is an oft repeated saying "You never lose the girl, you only lose your place in the queue". That about sums it up. If you can fight your way over the hurdles of morality and accept that then you can be assured of a very happy and loving, albeit temporary, relationship.
Sadly many men trip on the first hurdle and fail to see the truth. They don't see because love is blind and falling in love with a Bar Girl is so very very easy.
Girls working in Beer Bars and GoGo Bars and along the Coconut Bar are all essentially in it for the money. A boyfriend for an hour, a day, a month or a year is business. The business involves keeping him happy and extracting cash for her family and her future.
Many girls will fall really and genuinely and deeply in love with their boyfriend. Many more live for the moment and enjoy what they are doing. Money though is what it is all about.
It Goes Like This
Most men will get the same holiday each year. Those who visit Thailand will undoubtedly meet a beautiful girl. It is impossible not too. If she steals his heart then they become boyfriend and girlfriend. They will be inseparable, eating, sleeping and partying together. He will shower her with gifts and give her money when she asks. She may fall in love or maybe not but she will make him feel like she loves him.
At the end of his two or three weeks he will swear his undying love and promise to support her while he is away. The level of support he sends is important. Anything below 20,000 Thai Baht a month will more or less guarantee that she will be unfaithfull. Many will anyway. Many will have a new 'boyfriend' before her others plane has taken off.
She will though keep in contact with number one by text, phone or email. She will remind him of the money he is sending her. She will tell him she loves him and misses him and how much she is looking forward to his next visit.
Meanwhile the new boyfriend is being seduced in exactly the same way.
Some girls may have upwards of a dozen regular boyfriends, occasionally interspersed with one night stands. Some boyfriends will fly their girlfriends to meet them in other locations around the world. Some boyfriends know about other boyfriends and some do not.
It takes some skill of manipulation to keep everybody happy. If she genuinely loves one man she may even forego the money but the others she will milk for all they are worth.
What would happen if two or three boyfriends arrived on holiday at the same time? It does happen. Sometimes a strategic disappearance to tend to a sick aunt up country is the best option. Alternatively she could persuade one of her boyfriends to take her to Samui for the holiday and text the others that she is caring for her sick aunt.
One girl I know managed to keep three boyfriends happy at the same time for two weeks without any one of them knowing of the existence of the other. The key was that she knew her boyfriends, what they liked, where they ate and so on. Men are creatures of habit and so it was easy. She was very tired but she did not lose one. She hoped that such weeks did not happen too often.
One mistake and it really could be "Excuse me but your girlfriend is my girlfriend."