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Your Girlfriend Is My Girlfriend

Updated on June 7, 2011

"Excuse me but your girlfriend is my girlfriend."

It may sound a bit like a farce but in the bar worlds of Bangkok, Phuket and Pattaya then never was a truer word spoken in jest...well most of the time.

There is an oft repeated saying "You never lose the girl, you only lose your place in the queue". That about sums it up. If you can fight your way over the hurdles of morality and accept that then you can be assured of a very happy and loving, albeit temporary, relationship.

Sadly many men trip on the first hurdle and fail to see the truth. They don't see because love is blind and falling in love with a Bar Girl is so very very easy.

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Girls working in Beer Bars and GoGo Bars and along the Coconut Bar are all essentially in it for the money. A boyfriend for an hour, a day, a month or a year is business. The business involves keeping him happy and extracting cash for her family and her future.

Many girls will fall really and genuinely and deeply in love with their boyfriend. Many more live for the moment and enjoy what they are doing. Money though is what it is all about.


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It Goes Like This

Most men will get the same holiday each year. Those who visit Thailand will undoubtedly meet a beautiful girl. It is impossible not too. If she steals his heart then they become boyfriend and girlfriend. They will be inseparable, eating, sleeping and partying together. He will shower her with gifts and give her money when she asks. She may fall in love or maybe not but she will make him feel like she loves him.

At the end of his two or three weeks he will swear his undying love and promise to support her while he is away. The level of support he sends is important. Anything below 20,000 Thai Baht a month will more or less guarantee that she will be unfaithfull. Many will anyway. Many will have a new 'boyfriend' before her others plane has taken off.

She will though keep in contact with number one by text, phone or email. She will remind him of the money he is sending her. She will tell him she loves him and misses him and how much she is looking forward to his next visit.

Meanwhile the new boyfriend is being seduced in exactly the same way.


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Some girls may have upwards of a dozen regular boyfriends, occasionally interspersed with one night stands. Some boyfriends will fly their girlfriends to meet them in other locations around the world. Some boyfriends know about other boyfriends and some do not.

It takes some skill of manipulation to keep everybody happy. If she genuinely loves one man she may even forego the money but the others she will milk for all they are worth.

What would happen if two or three boyfriends arrived on holiday at the same time? It does happen. Sometimes a strategic disappearance to tend to a sick aunt up country is the best option. Alternatively she could persuade one of her boyfriends to take her to Samui for the holiday and text the others that she is caring for her sick aunt.

One girl I know managed to keep three boyfriends happy at the same time for two weeks without any one of them knowing of the existence of the other. The key was that she knew her boyfriends, what they liked, where they ate and so on. Men are creatures of habit and so it was easy. She was very tired but she did not lose one. She hoped that such weeks did not happen too often.

One mistake and it really could be "Excuse me but your girlfriend is my girlfriend."


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  • Peter Dickinson profile image

    Peter Dickinson 6 years ago from South East Asia

    naturalsolutions It is not so bad if you accept the position the girl is in. caring for her family and her future. If you can get your head round that you are on the right road.

  • profile image

    naturalsolutions 6 years ago

    It is really annoying when someone tells you that your girlfriend is his girlfriend too.

    I don't think what will i do if i hear those word. We can't deny that there are girl who's having fun in collecting boyfriends.

  • Peter Dickinson profile image

    Peter Dickinson 7 years ago from South East Asia

    You are right Glassy. It helps to be aware but you will always listen to your heart before the advice of others.

  • Glassy profile image

    Glassy 7 years ago from Aus

    Hey Peter, I'm sure there will be hundreds more men lured into the web this Christmas, I'm thinking more along the lines of several thousands more, ha ha.

    And true to what TravelinAsia says, it doesn't matter what you tell a guy beforehand, they always seem to get sucked in by the bar girls. What's a guy gonna do, if a cute bar girl gives them all the attention they could only ever dream of and please them like they have never been pleased before in the bedroom department?

  • Peter Dickinson profile image

    Peter Dickinson 7 years ago from South East Asia

    A.A. Zavala - They are great company nonetheless and amongst my very best of friends. Thank you for reading.

  • A.A. Zavala profile image

    Augustine A Zavala 7 years ago from Texas

    This hub is fascinating. I'm not into bar girls, even here in the USA, but I will stay vigilant nonetheless. Thanks for sharing.

  • Peter Dickinson profile image

    Peter Dickinson 7 years ago from South East Asia

    TravelinAsia. To be sure there will a hundred or more lured into the web this Christmas holiday. Your comment is appreciated. Thanks.

  • TravelinAsia profile image

    TravelinAsia 7 years ago from Thailand/Southeast Asia

    I try to warn guys that come to Thailand for the first time, I tell them all the stories about guys I know who have been cheated, or scammed, or sometimes even killed by their bar girl. It never fails, every guy meets a charming girl at the bar, and even though he has heard all the stories, and has been educated by people who have been here for years, he proudly proclaims "my girl is a good girl, she is not like the others". If you are dating a bar girl, and you say that (or even think it), you are setting yourself up for failure.

    Thank you Peter for another great hub!