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You're Pregnant and He's Cheating

Updated on September 6, 2016

Pregnancy is suppose to be an amazing, celebratory event in a couple's life. Together you're creating a human being. It really sucks when something so special gets tainted by someone's inability to stay monogamous. You're not alone because this happens more times than it should. Even celebrities get cheated on when they're pregnant. Look at Kendra Wilkinson, Shar Jackson and even Heidi Klum, just to name a few. They all have been cheated on during there pregnancy. To me it's a huge slap in the face to cheat on someone that's carrying your child. She's at the most vulnerable time in her life. Her body is changing and she's feeling like she's not looking her best, but here he goes and completely annihilates her self-esteem by sleeping around. It's crazy and if your going through this right now, my heart goes out to you. I know a girl who's husband cheated on her every time she got pregnant. They have 4 kids. That is inexcusable. Why does this happen? Why is it that 1 in 10 men cheat on their pregnant significant others. Well I have came up with a few probable causes.

1. Men Are Dogs

Okay let's just get that out of the way. In a way we are all animal like. There are similarities in the way we mate, give birth and care for our young. A male dog will sniff around until he finds a female dog in heat. He will mate with her until she becomes pregnant and she's no longer carrying the pheromones of a dog in heat. The male dog is out and on to the next Bitch in heat. I think men have that same ability to smell a woman in heat and once she's pregnant, that smell is gone or either replaced with a different one. Science has not found this to be true or false.

2. You Closed Up Shop

When a woman gets pregnant her body takes on so many different changes in order to grow a baby. She's tired all of the time, gaining weight at a rapid speed, and the last thing on her mind is sex, at least for the first couple of months. After the baby has settled in and the morning sickness is gone, it's go time. But by then an impatient nothing of a man, has already gone out and cheated.

3. Your Belly Is Growing

A lot of men are genuinely afraid of hurting the baby during sex. They would rather find a hole that's not occupied by a growing fetus. The thought of poking the baby in the forehead freaks the idiots out a bit I suppose. That's why it's so important to attend Lamaze Classes together and some may even offer you and your mate fun and safe ways to have sex without hurting your growing baby. Lots of sex makes for easy birthing remember that.

4. You're Always Arguing

A pregnant woman's hormones are soaring and she has no time for foolishness. Mood swings are in full effect. A real man would be understanding and help her through her mood swings. Only the weak will go off to find someone to stroke his ego and not make him take the trash out.

5. He Feels Left Out

Your days are filled with talks of this amazing human being that you're growing inside of you. You're discussing future plans that includes this extra little person. There are talks about the color of the nursery, baby showers and even gender reveal parties. A lot of these talks really don't include a man's input unless it's putting together the baby's furniture. He feels left out and unappreciated. So he would rather go somewhere he knows he will be appreciated if only for a moment.

This does not mean that pregnancy leads to infidelity. Infidelity usually sprouts from a rotting relationship. Usually there were problems before the pregnancy that can lead to him stepping out. It can really be tough having to deal with a Cheating Spouse while in the thralls of pregnancy. Couples Counseling and Adult Conversation can help prevent and sustain a healthy and happy relationship. Pregnancy should be an exciting time for all involved. It's definitely not a time to cheat.

Have you ever been cheated on during your pregnancy?

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    • tarkishat profile image

      tarkishat 21 months ago

      Thanks dashingscorpio for your insightful male perspective!

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 21 months ago

      "It really sucks when something so special gets tainted by someone's inability to stay monogamous."

      "Her body is changing and she's feeling like she's not looking her best, but here he goes and completely annihilates her self-esteem by sleeping around." There are two things I believe we must first acknowledge.

      1. Cheating and monogamy are (choices) one makes. Inability makes it sound as if someone "couldn't help them self".

      I believe the primary goal of most cheaters is to hold onto all that is "good" in their primary relationship while addressing their other "needs" on the side.

      Most cheaters aren't looking to replace one relationship with another one. They're selfishly attempting to have it all by combining women or men.

      2. Self-esteem is something you give yourself. Anyone who lives for the acceptance of others will die from their rejection. You have to love yourself no matter what is going on in your life.

      Having said that I believe you hit on some valid things as to why (some) men might cheat on a pregnant significant other. (Especially 2-5).

      You closed up shop is an obvious one. Only in relationships do we believe that if you STOP doing something things will remain the same. However if you stop going to work you'd get fired, stop paying your rent you'd get evicted, stop making car payments your car gets repossessed... Therefore it stand to reason if you stop having sex with your man he is still going to have sexual desires. Every woman is entitled to have sex in all it's various forms (if she wants) whether it's vaginal, oral, or manual.

      Just as cheating and monogamy are choices so is abstinence/celibacy. Essentially people do whatever they want to do if it's in their interest.

      “While we are free to choose our actions, we are not free to choose the consequences of our actions” – Stephen R. Covey

      "Your belly is growing" - Not only are some guys worried about injuring the baby but many of them probably don't find their significant other sexually attractive during pregnancy and (some men) even afterwards.

      There's also the possibility that secretly (he never wanted children).

      Others revere "motherhood" & feel mentally conflicted about having sex.

      "You're always arguing" - Pregnant or not that will push a man away!

      Proverbs 21:19

      "It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman."

      There's no "free pass" given for being pregnant. If someone is constantly yelling at you or complaining it's only natural you're going to want to spend more time with people who adore you.

      "He feels left out" - The sad truth is many are indeed left out.

      When a child is born the man is often demoted in his household by women. In fact some women only have sex with the hope of getting pregnant. They never were really "into it" to begin with. It was something they did to get a man and eventually have a family.

      Many men on the other hand view their children as "offspring" of the relationship. If the woman was having a difficulty during labor and the doctor told the man they could only save the woman or the baby... 99% of men would ask the doctor to save the woman!

      It's a sad fact some men take it to the extreme of not paying child support or visiting their children if they're not getting along with their ex.

      Naturally this is the wrong attitude to have but they see the woman and the child as being one. If a man is not demoted after the baby arrives there is probably a better chance that he will embrace fatherhood.

      "Men are dogs" - Seriously???

      Anyone who has seen "Paternity Court", "Cheaters" , or "The Maury Povich Show" AKA "You are NOT the father!" knows that neither gender is standing on "holy ground" when it comes to monogamy.

      Most cheating takes place without there being a pregnancy.

      Even lesbians report having (female lovers) cheat on them!

      One man's opinion!:)

    • tarkishat profile image

      tarkishat 21 months ago

      It really is.

    • thumbi7 profile image

      JR Krishna 21 months ago from India

      So sad....