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Youths- Sexuality and Abuse of Sexual Freedom
Sexuality and Abuse of Sexual Freedom
During the last decades, there has been an astonishing increase in permissiveness (The degree of sexual freedom in the society) in moral attitudes. Sexual matters have become public topic; people speak more frankly, more openly and explicitly about sex matters. It is an era of sexual revolution and youths with all their exuberance have embraced it all.
Though, permissiveness is not only a youth affair, it cuts across all ages, ethnic and religious groups, the reason cases of extra-marital affairs are on the increase. Some blamed this moral decadence on excess sexual freedom, but sexual freedom has been in existence since the time of Sodom and Gomorrah. Today, we not just contending with sexual freedom, rather our youths are on the verge of sexual anarchy.
In the expression of their sexuality, youths have lost all sense of beauty, honour, respect and human dignity; rather they treat each others like food samples. Boys go on sexual binges or sexperimentation (an unhealthy zeal for sexual experimentation and adventurism) to the detriment of young girls. The reason according to Jerome and Julia Rainer is because
“The young male at the peak of his sexual powers must resort to catch-as-catch can opportunities for sexual release.”
Sex is no more revered, the wonders of its fulfillment has been lost in emotionless lust. It has become a recreation, sex has lost its aura, and sex has been stripped of all charm and mystery. There is no more sexiness in sexual activities. What the youths practice is an act that is crude and undignified under the cloak of love.
What they practice is sexual cannibalism, a bastardisation and commercialisation of this wonderful gift of God, all because of lack of understanding and moral laxity. In this-anything-goes-generation, morality is wearing thin; the mental, emotional, biological and moral degradation around us is rapidly getting worse.This frightening phenomenon has made Jerome and Julia Rainer to declare that,
“Our youths are verging on a kind of cannibalism in their sexual explorations. They appear to consume sex as thirstily and casually as they consume soft drinks and with about the same emotional valance.”
They believe that because there are super abundance of girls to choose from, so for the male, it is a matter of choice, with very little or no price to pay for the immediate gratification of his sexual thirst.
Books, magazines and the internet are saturated with ersatz sex stories, which is not what youths need. There are few resources to navigate them with wisdom and good information. There are multiple sides to growing up, which sexual awareness is one and lack of understanding of the challenges of their sexuality, leaves them hostage to societal influence and peer pressure.
Youths, especially young girls, have to be prepared for the lifelong conflict their growing sexuality will bring to bear in their lives. They have to be taught self esteem, self control and how to form healthy relationships.
They have to learn how to take charge of their sexuality, they should be made to understand that owning their desires and owning their bodies empowers them to say No to sex. They have to learn how to set up personal boundaries and stick to them.
Sexuality incorporates attitudes, thoughts and behaviours concerning sexual activity, while Sex is an intrinsic part of everyone’s life and as such should be treated with some sensitivity. Teaching young men a healthier appreciation of sex might help them to see sex as part of a meaningful connection between two human beings instead of seeing it as a cheap illicit thrill to chase after. they should understand that sex is not about exhibiting their maleness or impressing their peers.
Today’s youths have lost the motivating power of love and romance, they lack moral courage and patience to woo and win a girl, they rather prefer the quick mixer kind of romance, meet a girl today, tell her you love her, take her to bed tomorrow, dispose of her the next day and go in search of a new catch thereafter. And girls are making it possible by consenting.
Young girls have to understand that there are socio-biological differences between how men and women approach sex, it is for a man to propose sex to a woman, but it is in her power to refuse or accept, she has to be cautious because biologically she is the one left with the consequences of sex.
Bertrand Russell points out that, “Men’s actions are harmful either from ignorance or bad desires.”
The problem with our youths is not bad desires but ignorance, youth is a period characterized with vigour, enthusiasm and inexperience, so they know not what they are doing, therefore, they have to know the truth, the whole truth about sex and the expression of their sexuality, they should not be left to grope in the dark, and they need open and frank instructions on sexual matters. They should know what sex is and what it is not.
WHAT SEX IS NOT
- A conquest to brag about,
- The act of putting an erect penis into a willing or unwilling virgin.
- A weapon of extortion or blackmail.
- A means to reward or appreciate a favour or used as an expression of gratitude.
- A means of earning a living.
- A pastime or fun to spice up life.
- To overcome boredom and loneliness.
- To overcome feelings of inferiority (men who seek proof of their masculinity).
- An enticement for emotional love (by women who use their bodies to obtain masculine attention).
- A defense against anxiety and tension.
WHAT SEX IS
- A means of expressing love, intimacy, passion and emotion.
- A means of self expression.
- The ultimate form of private communication between partners.
- A unification of life and love.
Sex is meant to be reverent as a gift from the Almighty. It is only when the youths have a clear understand of the true meaning of sex, then they will be able to have a wholesome respect and appreciation of their sexuality.