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A Funeral for My 28 Year Marriage

Updated on April 21, 2015

Family, friends old and new, loved ones, online friends,

Please join me in sorrow and healing as I seek closure and inner peace.

On HubPages (the site this page is on - previously it was on the website Squidoo) I go by the name JJNW. Many of you know me by this, and many by my real name, Janienne. Some of you will not know me at all, but may find this in your own journey of healing. In any case, thank you for attending this virtual funeral for my marriage.

(Squidoo was) a place I feel safe and loved, hence my choice to host my service here. I thank the good people here for ongoing support, love, and encouragement.

Thank you for coming and being here for me and for my children.

(Photo Credit: Serenity Wreath by GiftTree, available at bottom of page)

My children and I have been abandoned.

After years of psychological, emotional and sometimes physical abuse, we are breaking free of strange, subtle and hidden kinds of control and mental manipulation.

We do not have the closure of a normal 'relationship-gone-bad.' Our pleas for answers go ignored.

We have not have the sympathy of others. No one has died.

We can hardly explain what has happened. It is almost unfathomable.

Until now, we have told only a very few.

We are afraid. We cry alone.

We hoped for change and kindness that did not come.

And now we come together with those we love, those who care, and whoever this may help.

To those who know us as a couple...

I am so sorry for your loss.

I know your pain.

I am here for you.

I have no choice but to try to find closure...

to enable me to move forward and be strong for my children.

I am devastated and deeply hurt. The man with whom I expected to live the rest of my life has chosen another path. He chooses to lose us rather than admit the harm he has done and continues to do to his wife and children.

My kids and I have tried for months, years to ask to be treated with genuine loving kindness. There is nothing left to try.

Mourning Songs for My Marriage

(Click on each video to play or stop)

You've left me speechless, so speechless.

Please light a candle...

Candle Photo by Andrew Hildebrand
Candle Photo by Andrew Hildebrand

real or virtual,

in whatever way has meaning for you.

In this moment,

let us have solace

and peace.

It is better to light a candle

than to curse the darkness.

Falling slowly, eyes that know me

And I can't go back

Moods that take me and erase me

And I'm painted black

You have suffered enough

And warred with yourself

It's time that you won

Quotations

The following are quotes that have meaning for me. I know the end of a marriage is hard on anyone involved in any way. I share these with you in the hope you find comfort, strength and healing in them.

  • If you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on where you stop your story. - Orson Welles
  • When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us. - Helen Keller
  • If you are going through hell, keep going. - Winston Churchill
  • Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end. - Unknown
  • Thank you to Comfort Doc on Squidoo for sharing the following three quotes...

    I don't believe I've ever met a person who hasn't been

    challenged or wounded by something.

    Difficulties present choices

    We can either waste away from our wounds

    or use them to grow our souls.

    Joan Borysenko

  • The most beautiful people we have known

    are those who have known defeat,

    known suffering, known struggle, known loss,

    and have found their way out of the depths.

    These persons have an appreciation,

    a sensitivity and an understanding standing of life

    that fills them with compassion, gentleness

    and a deep loving concern.

    Beautiful people do not just happen.

    Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

  • Out of every crisis comes the chance to be reborn,

    to reconceive ourselves as individuals,

    to choose the kind of change that will help us to grow

    and to fulfill ourselves more completely.

    Nena O'Neill

My message to those who care for me...

Promise me you'll always remember:

You're braver than you believe,

and stronger than you seem,

and smarter than you think.

~ Christopher Robin to

Winnie the Pooh

Looking to the Future...

Squidoo, and now HubPages, help me be able work from home & be with my kids. That means everything.

These are some of the 200+ pages I have created and dearly love...

Kindly Sign My Guestbook - Thank You for Your Presence and Support - J, K, & I

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    • BigRedDomino profile image

      BigRedDomino 4 years ago

      I learned 'speechless' on the piano and substitute "jeff" for 'boy' every time I sing it.

    • BigRedDomino profile image

      BigRedDomino 4 years ago

      You and your children WILL prevail into something so big, bright, and beautiful, you won't even see it coming. Big Squidoo love from me to you and back again to squidoo-hoo-hoo! You're stay-at-home testimony is very refreshing for me. I LOVE that you are able to provide for your family by doing something you love and are good at (writing). I also love that you are providing by helping others/increasing awareness. Yay you! *Super-mom-knockout-power*

    • MariaB LM profile image

      MariaB LM 4 years ago

      I am glad you have found an outlet and not allow this to control you. Hope you will continue to get better.

    • profile image

      anonymous 4 years ago

      @JJNW: JJNW-I wish we could talk. I was married for 20 years. 3 children. My husband, VP of a fortune 50 company, emptied our 401k's, took tax returns, got fired from his job and stopped paying completely. He dated everyone around, became a leader in his small group church and...the story just continues. Only those who experience this seem to understand how you can love him and hate him for what he does. During the worst of it, I cried so hard all day, every day. I was heading to the hospital one evening to ask if they could sedate me just to stop the pain. His words....so cruel and vicious. Yet, he INSISTED I come back! When I did...he would go crazy again (throwing furniture, waking me in the middle of the night to pace the room and lecture me for hours...) To much to tell you...it was just crazy. I wanted so desperately for it not to be true. Healing comes when you finally understand. But your world is forever changed...

    • JJNW profile image
      Author

      JJNW 4 years ago from USA

      @NarcissismNoMore: Thanks for sharing that. I am looking for a counselor too. I am so sorry for your pain and hope it will lessen with time and distance.

    • TransplantedSoul profile image

      TransplantedSoul 4 years ago

      I hope you are well.

    • NarcissismNoMore profile image

      NarcissismNoMore 4 years ago

      The two books you recommended are the exact same two that I used after leaving my abusive fiancé (5 weeks before the wedding!); those plus a counselor helped me through the roughest time in my life.

    • theallin1writer profile image

      theallin1writer 4 years ago

      Thank you for sharing such a personal story with us. It could not have been easy to write this. All the best to you and your children!

    • siobhanryan profile image

      siobhanryan 5 years ago

      BLessed

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      I'm sorry you're going through such a tough time. My heart goes out to you.

      I fled my 19-yr marriage; he died; the nightmare continues (long story). The DivorceCare program & then the GriefShare program were both very helpful for me. I also attended support groups for spousal abuse. We need support.

      Blessings to you!

    • profile image

      reasonablerobby 5 years ago

      Divorce is a tough gig that turns your world inside out and upside down.

    • KathyBatesel profile image

      KathyBatesel 5 years ago

      Sorry, hon! Remember that when one door closes, it means another opportunity is waiting in the wings.

    • JJNW profile image
      Author

      JJNW 5 years ago from USA

      @Protasker: I agree - a lot like an unexpected horrific death. Huge mourning, numbing. And also so much confusion and fear in the case of abuse & financial abandonment. Thank you for the encouragement.

    • Mickie Gee profile image

      Mickie Goad 5 years ago

      Hoping this comment finds you surviving and doing well.

    • charlb profile image

      charlb 5 years ago

      Sorry for your loss. Hope that you and your family find the strength and courage needed to move on to a better place after the suffering.

    • Protasker profile image

      Barbara 5 years ago from USA

      I went through a horrible divorce and it still continues today! It's hurts, it's numbing, it's a lot like a death but they are not dead. You can live through it in the end, just know that your peace will come when you are ready.

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      I was just thinking of you and returning to say you are in my hearts prayers as you take this journey...may there be rainbows for tears....

    • my1eye profile image

      my1eye 5 years ago

      Thanks for stopping by my lens, or I may never have found this powerful piece.

      And Shinedown's The crow and the butterfly, is an amazing song.

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      I want you to know that I am here for you and pray for you and your kids. In all your searching for answers don't forget there is a God who loves you and His Son died for you. John 3:16

    • ElizabethSheppard profile image

      Elizabeth Sheppard 5 years ago from Bowling Green, Kentucky

      Hi! I am sorry to hear of the ending of your marriage. Let me know if I can be of support in any way. Personally, I find comfort at hurting times by reading self-help books. You may not find this as useful, but I thought I would share this with you anyway just in case. ::hugs::

    • Zut Moon profile image

      Zut Moon 5 years ago

      I have written a few self-help lenses that you might want to take a look at. Blessed this lens.

    • siobhanryan profile image

      siobhanryan 5 years ago

      I feel your pain and sadness-may God be with you. You are strong and brave and you will be ok.

    • JoanieMRuppel54 profile image

      Joanie Ruppel 5 years ago from Keller, Texas

      Thank you for your comment on my LOTD. My best to you and your children for healing.

    • ottoblotto profile image

      ottoblotto 5 years ago

      I hope you will find peace.

    • Titia profile image

      Titia Geertman 5 years ago from Waterlandkerkje - The Netherlands

      The best choice you could make and good luck to you and your kids.

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      My thoughts and prayers are with you, and I hope your new life will be full of love and laughter, peace and happiness. Blessings *

    • kevingomes13 lm profile image

      kevingomes13 lm 5 years ago

      when a door slams shut another one opens :)

    • JJNW profile image
      Author

      JJNW 5 years ago from USA

      @anonymous: You are all so very dear. I have read these comments over and over. They are so supportive and healing. Thank you so much, my Squidoo family.

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      Returning with angel dust...just to let you know that I'm carrying you in my hearts prayers...

    • IngridA1 profile image

      IngridA1 5 years ago

      So sad for you and the kids and yet I'd like to believe that things happen for a reason and you chose to have something better. Sending virtual support for the strength to carry on, you can do it!

    • profile image

      cmadden 5 years ago

      You are doing what must be done: taking care of yourself and your children. Rejoice the loss of what it was. Mourn the loss of what you wish it could have been. Fill your present with the small, joyful moments of life, and with the love between you and your children. Embrace what is yet to be. In other words, hang in there - you're doing great!

    • spellbindingsis profile image

      spellbindingsis 5 years ago

      We understand the pain you are going through we have both been there before too. If there is anything we can do to help you please contact us <3

    • rainbowbutterfl1 profile image

      rainbowbutterfl1 5 years ago

      read twice and still , can't hold my tears. You describe so well your feelings and I do admire your courage. Take good care .

    • KathyMcGraw2 profile image

      Kathy McGraw 5 years ago from California

      Janienne, yes it's time to move on. Sounds to me like you and the kids have given more than enough and now time to move on and see what life has in store for you. Time to find and be able to not only appreciate new things but allow new people to appreciate you. In understanding I give a Squidoo Blessing.

    • profile image

      CheyenneStarr 5 years ago

      Your best days are ahead. God bless you.

    • profile image

      Donnette Davis 5 years ago from South Africa

      I love what Kab wrote : "You were not abandoned. You were freed."

      Strength and peace to you and yours! I have survived this also, and only realized how important that phrase is now again when reading it!

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      I LOVE that Orson Welles quote. Candles lit. Blessedbe

    • sousababy profile image

      sousababy 5 years ago

      Better days are ahead - keep writing, it's therapeutic. Take good care, Rose

    • profile image

      Helene-Malmsio 5 years ago

      This is such a sad point in your life it would be hard to see a light at the end of the tunnel, but you already know that "time heals all wounds" ... and as I like to think also .. " time wounds all Heels!"

      From my experience, although life may seem empty as so many years invested in a lifetime goal will feel like they were wasted, you will very quickly start to appreciate the calm and peace of living a life where you are not constantly, daily, being buffeted by the emotional abuse you appear to have endured for so many years.

      I have learned that life is tough, but I'm tougher... same for you, and life does gets better ... !

      I wish all the very best to you and your loved ones, from me and mine.

    • allenwebstarme profile image

      allenwebstarme 5 years ago

      Forget your past, save yourself from negativity. Fill happy moments today in your life, so when you will go to future than you'll have some nice memories from past. God bless you!

    • Sylvestermouse profile image

      Cynthia Sylvestermouse 5 years ago from United States

      Well, I don't even know what to say. My heard is breaking for you for so many reasons. I am not a counselor. I am not a psychologist, but I am a friend. If you ever just need to talk, you know where to find me. Right here waiting to hear from you and just listen. I won't have great advice, but I do understand pain, betrayal and lose.

    • Lee Hansen profile image

      Lee Hansen 5 years ago from Vermont

      Janienne, the mourning for the death of a marriage is so needed and important for your wellness; we are here to support you. You're brave and wise to seek out this community in your grief and to work through the end by writing. I've lived through the death of 2 marriages that (combined) totalled about the same number of years so I do understand the grieving and recovery you'll go through, but to have spent 28 years in an abusive relationship seems to me that you and yours have survived a living hell. Go on with life, leave the sadness behind, and you will find so much happiness you will look back and be proud for moving on and staying strong. Peace to you and your family ... Lee

    • profile image

      GrowWear 5 years ago

      This is a heart-wrenching, yet somehow beautiful, expression of grief. In sympathy for you and your family.

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      I'm honored and so proud to know great lady such as you.. dear lady Janienne. Always be on your sides. Have wonderful times.. always.

    • Thrinsdream profile image

      Thrinsdream 5 years ago

      My dear lady and fellow squidooer, look for laughter, peace, love and you will find it. I trust in the fact you are a strong a brave woman and your world will turn into a mass of beauty. Be strong and look in the right direction. With love. Cathi x

    • Richard-H profile image

      Richard 5 years ago from Surrey, United Kingdom

      I hope you and your children can find the happiness you so richly deserve. I know from experience that the Squidoo community is a wonderful support system :)

    • TheLittleCardShop profile image

      Malu Couttolenc 5 years ago

      Hugs to your and your children. I hope you find strength and peace to go through these moments

    • profile image

      andreablogger 5 years ago

      You deserve a happier life. May God bless you and your kids.

    • tandemonimom lm profile image

      tandemonimom lm 5 years ago

      Thank you for sharing this painful time. I hope it helps you and your children; I know it will help others. Blessings to you and yours as you move into your new life!

    • myraggededge profile image

      myraggededge 5 years ago

      {{Hugs}} I got away from one and so can you. Life is just going to keep improving for you now. Wishing you all the strength you need to get through this. x

    • SandyMertens profile image

      Sandy Mertens 5 years ago from Frozen Tundra

      Sorry for your loss. Leaving a marriage is a hard thing to do and a brave choice. I will pray to give you strength to heal. You will be stronger leaving an abusive relationship. Angel dusting. Please add this to my Valentine Gifts, What Sold and Blessings 2012 lens.

    • chezchazz profile image

      Chazz 5 years ago from New York

      You have incredible strength and courage. I cannot find the words but I know, I feel, I believe you will find the road ahead leads to a better life. Someone once said (I don't remember the exact words) when the road ends for the caterpillar, it begins for the butterfly. You have broken out of an imprisoning cocoon and given your children (and yourself) an incredible gift.

    • SusanDeppner profile image

      Susan Deppner 5 years ago from Arkansas USA

      I am very sorry for your loss. So very glad you feel safe enough with us to share here on Squidoo. Praying for your future!

    • profile image

      Ruthi 5 years ago

      Janienne, my heart and prayers are with you on this journey. And though you grieve the loss of the marriage, know that taking these steps to freedom from abuse will enable you to arise and take a stand against domestic violence and all it implies. Stand tall and proud and you will do well for yourself and your children.

    • kerbev profile image

      kab 5 years ago from Upstate, NY

      You were not abandoned. You were freed.

      Thoughts and prayers with you.

    • Grasmere Sue profile image

      Sue Dixon 5 years ago from Grasmere, Cumbria, UK

      Hopefully writing all this down for us all to see will help you to cope. Best Wishes to you and your family.

    • Joan Haines profile image

      Joan Haines 5 years ago

      And after this moment of silence...on to joy and freedom.

    • JJNW profile image
      Author

      JJNW 5 years ago from USA

      Just look at you all. I had no doubt you would be here for me, good friends. What a wonderful community we have here at Squidoo.

      Thank you all so very much for the incredibly touching words and your continuous support. I am indeed blessed.

    • JJNW profile image
      Author

      JJNW 5 years ago from USA

      @HealthfulMD: These are wonderful, thank you. I have added some to my list above. â¥

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      This is a horrible thing to happen to you and I hope you and your children can move on from this and find a happier life.

    • religions7 profile image

      religions7 5 years ago

      What a brave way to deal with a marriage that can't last. Leaving must be hard. I do wish you and your children strength to deal with the changes and may you all flourish in your new lives. And when it gets tough: do remember that there were VERY good reasons to leave and there are no good reasons to go back unless there is fundamental change. Which temporary good behavior isn't.

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      I struggle to find the words to express my deep sorrow at the ending of your marriage. Having faced it myself I know the stresses you are facing. It will get better. It may be hard to see right now, but it will. In the meantime, lean on your Squidoo family as much as you need to, and know that we will not let you fall. {{hugs}}

    • jlshernandez profile image

      jlshernandez 5 years ago

      Opening up and sharing your story in Squidoo already showed your inner strength. You and your children will be in our thoughts. There is a silver lining somewhere. Keep your chin up.

    • KimGiancaterino profile image

      KimGiancaterino 5 years ago

      I'm sorry for your loss and hope you're soon able to move on with your life. It's a big world out there ... you're free and surrounded by people who care. Let us know how we can help.

    • awakeningwellness profile image

      awakeningwellness 5 years ago

      Please don't think of this as an ending but rather as the beginning of a whole new life...many blessings for you and your children in that new life!

    • SciTechEditorDave profile image

      David Gardner 5 years ago from San Francisco Bay Area, California

      Heartfelt lens. Sorry to hear about the end to this chapter of your life. I've been married for 30+ years and we also took the time to homeschool both of our kids from kindergarten through high school. It has been a struggle, and yes, many times we argued and fought... especially with losing jobs frequently (in my line of work, it seems to be the norm nowadays). Finances were always tough on us ... but we've managed to make it. However, we have many friends who haven't fared as well... and to those friends, and to you, we offer prayers of solace and healing and the ability to move forward to the next chapter of life. Blessings to you--

    • clouda9 lm profile image

      clouda9 lm 5 years ago

      With each song, each word...I feel your heart and purpose on this page. Thinking of you and your children as you take the fork in the road into a renewed and beautiful future.

    • DecoratingEvents profile image

      DecoratingEvents 5 years ago

      You are a brave person (evident by how you chose to deal with this divorce). Praying for strength, healing, and wisdom as you and your children navigate this new, open door. {{hugs}}

    • GonnaFly profile image

      Jeanette 5 years ago from Australia

      So sorry to hear of your trauma. I've just said a prayer for you and your children. May you be sustained through this difficult time.

    • Virginia Allain profile image

      Virginia Allain 5 years ago from Central Florida

      I'm sorry you're going through this, but believe me, you will find life easier to live once you are no longer in daily contact with his behavior. Divorce is traumatic under the best of circumstances, but don't feel that you have failed. It takes two to make a marriage work, and apparently he wasn't willing to do his part to make things better.

      I've been through a divorce, and wish you the best in your new life, which is what you are embarking on now.

    • Diana Wenzel profile image

      Renaissance Woman 5 years ago from Colorado

      There really are no words. Please know that I care.

    • norma-holt profile image

      norma-holt 5 years ago

      One thing I know about relationships is that the healing does happen and then you wonder why and how you were caught in the mess in the first place. There has got to be an end to the misery and pain you and your children have been going through and if he made the decision to leave then good on him. Give it a few months and you won't know yourself. Independence from misery is a gift from God, grab it with both hands. Blessed and featured on Blessed by Skiesgreen 2012. Hugs

    • NanLT profile image

      Nan 5 years ago from London, UK

      I'm sorry you are going through this. And send you the strength to move through this time and support your children.

    • PromptWriter profile image

      Moe Wood 5 years ago from Eastern Ontario

      Very therapeutic.

    • nightbear lm profile image

      nightbear lm 5 years ago

      I've been where you are. I wish I had been as brave and loved as you obviously are. You are showing amazing strength but I worry you somehow think you failed. In no way have you failed you have endured and come out the victor. When that reality is realized you will recognize your new open door. Mourn for now. But look forward to the rejoicing that will follow for all of you. Thank you for inviting me even though we are barely acquainted. I have a feeling I would benefit from a friendship with you. Blessings to you.

    • David Stone1 profile image

      David Stone 5 years ago from New York City

      Understanding that this took courage, not just to write, but to get to where you could write it, I hope you can keep in mind how very strong you are.

      And keep going!

    • joanhall profile image

      Joan Hall 5 years ago from Los Angeles

      Be strong. You already are strong, so just be.

    • WriterJanis2 profile image

      WriterJanis2 5 years ago

      {{{Hugs}}} What a difficult time you and your children are going through. I hope you can begin healing soon. You bring so much joy to others with your writing, I would be nice if you could find joy, too.

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      It must have been through many tears that your create this lens, but tears are healing and I'm glad you did. I wish you and your children all the best that this life has to offer and much more.

    • OhMe profile image

      Nancy Tate Hellams 5 years ago from Pendleton, SC

      Praying that you and your children will move forward with great strength.

    • ElizabethSheppard profile image

      Elizabeth Sheppard 5 years ago from Bowling Green, Kentucky

      I am so sorry to hear about this. I am glad you sent me this link though. I send comforting thoughts, hugs, and good wishes to you, as well as prayers. I will "like" this page too, and come back to visit you here on Squidoo and elsewhere if possible. I know I speak for many when I say, "We are here for you." Email me anytime or call if you just need to talk.

    • profile image

      termit_bronx 5 years ago

      It's not easy, but you're brave. I'm sorry for your loss. If you need me in any way, I'm here for you. Sending positive vibrations and hugs <3

    • ajgodinho profile image

      Anthony Godinho 5 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      I don't have any fancy words to say, Janienne, but know that you're loved and thought about during this difficult time. Lifting you all up in prayer, believing for better things ahead. Stay strong and blessed!

    • justholidays profile image

      justholidays 5 years ago

      Did he chose him over you all or did he understood that you're better than him? You know, although it may be hard to see your dreams come to an end, chances are that life offers something better than you knew.

      I know, it's easier to tell such things than experience them. But I've already experienced them long ago and now, I know that it was the most beautiful gift he ever gave me.

      Know that my thoughts are with you and that I send positive feelings you way each and every day.

      Big hugs.

    • GypsyOwl profile image

      Deb Bryan 5 years ago from Chico California

      ((((J, K, and I))))

      Big hugs and Brightest Blessings to you.

      Believe me, there are peaceful shores ahead and you are well on your way there.

      ⥠Deb (aka GypsyOwl)

    • profile image

      Joan4 5 years ago

      Oh how I hurt with you! Take care of yourself and the chlldren, and know that you are surrounded by prayers!

    • profile image

      inkserotica 5 years ago

      I'm so very sorry for your loss :( Please do let me know if there is anything I can do to help. You are very brave and I wish you and your kids all the best xx <>

    • Michey LM profile image

      Michey LM 5 years ago

      I know it is not easy, but any end is a new beginning, so wish you luck and happiness, and never look back...

      Regards

    • indigoj profile image

      Indigo Janson 5 years ago from UK

      Sending you hugs. Your hearts must feel like they are breaking but maybe one day you will be able to look back and see that this made you stronger and led to new happiness.

    • CCGAL profile image

      CCGAL 5 years ago

      My heart goes out to you. I love what you've done here, although I'm sorrowful for the reasons behind the lens. May your journey through this dark night of the soul be brief, and may the sunshine and roses on the other side be so beautiful that you forget all the pain and sorrow you're feeling now.

    • HealthfulMD profile image

      Kirsti A. Dyer 5 years ago from Northern California

      P.S. Closure is an old concept in dealing with grief and loss. Kenneth Doka says of grief and loss

      We do not get over grief. We learn to live a diffferent life.

      But over time, we eventually learn to live with the loss.

      Another way of looking at things is writing a new story of your life, to include the loss, and writing a positive ending.

    • HealthfulMD profile image

      Kirsti A. Dyer 5 years ago from Northern California

      Quotes to share:

      It isn't for the moment you are struck

      that you need courage,

      but for the long uphill battle to faith,

      sanity and security.

      Anne Morrow Lindbergh

      I don't believe I've ever met a person who hasn't been

      challenged or wounded by something.

      Difficulties present choices

      We can either waste away from our wounds

      or use them to grow our souls.

      Joan Borysenko

      Out of every crisis comes the chance to be reborn,

      to reconceive ourselves as individuals,

      to choose the kind of change that will help us to grow

      and to fulfill ourselves more completely.

      Nena O'Neill

      he most beautiful people we have known

      are those who have known defeat,

      known suffering, known struggle, known loss,

      and have found their way out of the depths.

      These persons have an appreciation,

      a sensitivity and an understanding standing of life

      that fills them with compassion, gentleness

      and a deep loving concern.

      Beautiful people do not just happen.

      Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

      Wishing you strength and courage in this challenging time.

      You already have shown great courage in sharing this with your Squidoo family.

    • profile image

      bdkz 5 years ago

      Thanks for sharing your story. You are so brave to write about it. I wish you the best.

    • Missmerfaery444 profile image

      Missmerfaery444 5 years ago

      So sorry that you had to write this, Janienne, it was very brave of you to share this with us here on Squidoo. Sending you much love and healing. Know that everything happens for a reason and that you and your kids are now on a path to a better, brighter future. Stay strong.

    • aka-rms profile image

      Robin S 5 years ago from USA

      Let the quotes you've posted above guide you. They're awesome. Best of everything to you and those you care about.

    • LeopoldBlatt profile image

      LeopoldBlatt 5 years ago

      Hi Janienne, you have already moved forward. You are very brave to write this. Well done!!!