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Domestic Violence with Fatal Consequences

Updated on May 13, 2015
Sue Adams profile image

Having suffered domestic abuse for 7 years narrowly escaping fatalities, Juliette Kando shares her experiences and strategies for survival.

In the previous episode about domestic violence A Violent Marriage, Allard had returned home furiously drunk. He had slammed his fist through the glass kitchen door to attack his wife Anna, thereby cutting a wrist artery. Anna took him to A. E. leaving their child, Tommy asleep at home. Here is what happened next.

Say "No" to domestic violence once and for all.
Say "No" to domestic violence once and for all. | Source

At the Hospital

Allard was immediately wheeled in for emergency treatment. Anna sat down in the waiting room until her patience failed her. Now she began to pace up and down in the corridors. A nurse was walking past. Anna grabbed her arm and asked, "How is my husband? Is he going to be all right?" But the nurse was busy filling in a form and did not know what Anna was talking about. She brushed her off: "Please return to the waiting room and the doctor will be with you shortly."

What do They Care?

Anna tried to understand the nurse’s lack of interest.Yes, she thought, these people live with life and death on a daily basis. To them, one more patient is nothing unusual, nothing out of their ordinary daily routine. Anna was beginning to get so impatient that she got up and peeped in every cubicle to see if she could find Allard but to no avail. Another nurse saw her pulling the curtain open of one of the cubicles and briskly said, ‘Can I help you?’

"Oh, please, can you tell me what is going on with my husband, his name is Allard Kirkpatrick and he was brought in about an hour ago with a slashed wrist artery, can you please tell me what is happening?" The nurse pointed towards the front part of the hospital where the waiting room was. "Madam, you are not supposed to walk around the corridors looking into cubicles, please go back to the waiting room. As soon as we are ready, a doctor will come and see you."

‘All right, thank you.’ Anna replied and walked in the direction the nurse had indicated.

Too Much Alcohol

There were only a few people in the waiting room. An old man was slouching on a chair with his flies open and one shoe off. Two parents were holding a baby who would not stop crying. Several young lads sat around their injured friend who was obviously the victim of a fight with a huge black eye, his shirt torn, and grazes all down his arm. They were talking loudly, agitated and nervous. One of them was sharing a piece of dry baguette with his friends. The wounded boy did not want any bread. He was holding his forehead, looking at the ground. Anna got sick of watching all this misery, most of it self-inflicted through drinking too much alcohol. How could she have landed in this situation?

Allard the Drunk

She recalled how Allard, not long ago, had woken up after one of his long weekend binges with a heavy hangover. In one of such apologetic sober moments, he had pointed out exactly what was wrong with him.

"I used to be Allard, the talented artist, courageous leader and war hero, but now I have not painted in months. I can’t keep a job, and I have become just a drunk, like any other drunk anywhere in any country or planet or solar system or galaxy." What could she have said?

Guilt and Worry

Anna had left him there in his despair that morning before taking Tommy to school and rushing to work. Maybe if she had been able to give Allard more time, it would not have come to this. Feeling guilty, she got up again and walked up and down the hospital corridor. Hopefully, she wouldn't have to wait too long. It was very late now. Tommy was alone at home, and she had some early appointments the next day to deliver photos, which she still had to glaze and touch up before morning.

Hope for the Future

She sat down again, picked up a magazine dated six months back and looked at the irony of the beautiful models on the advertisements promising beauty, health, and happiness. One article caught her attention, it featured paintings and talked about a successful Hungarian artist called Vazarelli. When she looked at his photograph, Anna remembered knowing this artist, years ago at art school in Budapest. So it was possible to become rich and recognized as a foreign painter in Paris. Maybe they could go and look up this Vazarelli guy and maybe he could help Allard find his feet on the Paris art scene. She moved the magazine under her bag and tore out the two relevant pages to show Allard later. She looked at the clock: half past three am. Where was her husband?

The Final Blow

More than an hour and a half had passed. A senior doctor walked up to her, Mrs. Kirkpatrick?

‘Yes, how is my husband, is he coming out soon, can I see him?’ Speechless, the doctor slowly, compassionately put a hand on Anna's arm and took her into a private room. From these actions, or rather lack of action, and from the solemn expression on the doctor’s face, Anna could already guess: Allard was dead.
"I am very sorry; we could not save your husband. We tried a transfusion, but he had lost too much blood before he arrived."

Allard Died Long Ago

Until now Anna had firmly repressed the possibility of Allard not making it. The thought of her returning home alone had not occurred for one moment.
'Can I see him?'
‘Yes, in a moment. I shall send a nurse to fetch you in a few minutes. I am very sorry.

The doctor walked out of the room. During the next few minutes, reality began to sink in. My Allard died months ago when he lost his pride when drink turned him into a miserable, insane, violent, irrational monster. He died when he believed that alcohol could drown out poverty. Unable to take it all in, she resolved to keep her dignity for now.

No Scene

When the nurse came to fetch her, Anna followed silently. The walk through what seemed to be miles of corridors was endless. Finally, the nurse gently put a hand on Anna's shoulder and opened a door. Allard was all cleaned up. Wearing nothing but a white gown, the expression on his face was peaceful. He looked almost serene, relaxed at last. Well, he couldn't be much more relaxed than this, Anna thought in a macabre way.

‘Oh, Allard’, she cried, kneeling down by the bed, she put her face on his crossed hands. ‘What am I going to tell Tommy?’ She didn't want to make a scene. She got up, dried her tears.
‘We will phone you tomorrow to sort out the formalities,’ said the nurse. ‘Can I get you a taxi?’
‘No thank you, I’ll walk,’ Anna replied, ‘I need some air.’

Don't Let Him Get Away With it

Where To Get Help

Here are some helpful links in case you or a friend need them.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline U.S.

24-hour National Domestic Violence
Freephone Helpline U.S.
0808 2000 247

NSW Government- Domestic Violence Line:1800 656 463 (TTY 1800 671 442)

Getting Help

Thank You All

I want to thank all of you who voted for this true life story and helped towards making it a HubNugget.


© SUE ADAMS 2015 - You may link to this article, but you may Not copy it. Copied content will automatically be found by Google Alerts and may result in your entire blog/website being closed down.


What You Can Do to Help Get Rid of Domestic Violence

Please share this article on facebook and Twitter. We also want to know your experiences in the comments below to help others get out of domestic violence.


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    • Sue Adams profile image

      Juliette Kando 5 years ago from Andalusia

      Wow Chris,

      That is a very well thought out response to this sad story.

      "The fear of being alone and/or losing her love fix or identity as part of a couple?" is particularly true in many partnerships.

      As for "... get real and stop looking outside themselves for a fix to cope with life." Do you really mean another "fix", i.e. addiction?

      I'd like to re-phrase:

      "... get real and stop looking outside themselves for a way to enjoy life."

      Thank you for your input.


    • profile image

      chris 5 years ago

      The underlying problem is depression and alcohol is a means to ease the pain. Depression is endemic and alcohol and drug abuse is a symptom or can exacerbate the underlying mood disorder. Food, sex, gambling, over-work, shopping and love and relationships are other addictions used to mask pain. A sad ending to a mutually dysfunctional couple - both needed help to fix their demons. What sort of person rips out pages of a magazine left in a waiting room? Why was Ms Fixer staying with Allard if she was such a healthy person? The fear of being alone and/or losing her love fix or identity as part of a couple? Sometimes caregivers/enablers can be as warped as their patients and thrive on being needed and perceived as superior, kind and patient, when they are actually highly critical and controlling. As long as everyone is looking at their partner no-one looks closely at them. Anna sounds like a drama queen who should have forced an intervention instead of covering for her man. Now it's all too late and she's the miserable one (she always was) but can blame her misery on loss of love. Love addicts and alcoholics/junkies are a common pairing. Both need help to get real and stop looking outside themselves for a fix to cope with life.

    • Sue Adams profile image

      Juliette Kando 5 years ago from Andalusia

      Hi Chaotic Chica and louise, thank you for reading and reacting.

    • louiseelcross profile image

      Louise Elcross 5 years ago from UK

      Very sad.

    • Chaotic Chica profile image

      Chaotic Chica 6 years ago

      Very good! Very, very, very good!

    • Sue Adams profile image

      Juliette Kando 6 years ago from Andalusia

      I can assure you, Coverley, that they got out OK but for many years the nightmares didn't want to go away.

    • writer83 profile image

      writer83 6 years ago from Cyber Space

      A brilliant story

    • coverley1 profile image

      coverley1 7 years ago from Victoria, Australia

      An excellent story. Another life gone as a result of the demon drink. I hope Anna and her son are OK now and still not victims of Ben's violent behaviour towards them. I truly wished he had been capable of leaving them a better legacy and memories. So sad and helpless for all involved.

    • Sue Adams profile image

      Juliette Kando 7 years ago from Andalusia

      Thank you for reading this story K Partin. The more people are aware of the problem, hopefully the sooner we can combat it.

    • K Partin profile image

      K Partin 7 years ago from Garden City, Michigan

      Great story Sue, sad situation to be in an abusive relationship. I have no tolerance for drunks! Thanks

    • Sue Adams profile image

      Juliette Kando 7 years ago from Andalusia

      Thank you Gracielinda let us hope you never will get into such a situation.

    • profile image

      Gracielinda 7 years ago

      Though I have never been in a physically abusive relationship, just reading the story touched me. Great writing that kept my attention. Keep it up!

    • Sue Adams profile image

      Juliette Kando 7 years ago from Andalusia

      As long as alcohol is THE main means of socialising at dinner parties its use will never be culturally incorrect like cigarette smoking has become.

    • diogenes profile image

      diogenes 7 years ago from UK and Mexico

      Blasted alcohol, how I detest it and drunks. I am in the drink-sodden UK, and it's totally disgusting. Sad story; one of far too many...Bob

    • donotfear profile image

      donotfear 7 years ago from The Boondocks

      I relate to this. Been in a bad one like it. It's so self-defeating. I thank God every day I had a good support system in place to help me through it.

    • Sue Adams profile image

      Juliette Kando 7 years ago from Andalusia

      You are so right magnolia. Unlike cigarettes, alcohol is still advertised on billboards and all over the place.

      Have you voted for my story?

    • magnoliazz profile image

      magnoliazz 7 years ago from Wisconsin

      I hope she had some life insurance on her husband. Drunks die sooner than ordinary folks. Better him than her, you die the way you live. I just hope this woman did not get involved with another drinker.

      I wish alcohol and drugs were wiped off the face of the earth, they are satan's biggest weapons. I believe that people who do drugs and alcohol are controlled by demons.

    • Sue Adams profile image

      Juliette Kando 7 years ago from Andalusia

      Thank you

    • create a page profile image

      create a page 7 years ago from Maryland, USA

      Yes I did.

    • Sue Adams profile image

      Juliette Kando 7 years ago from Andalusia

      You're welcome create a page. I hope you voted for my story.

    • create a page profile image

      create a page 7 years ago from Maryland, USA

      Thank you for sharing an important message through this well written hub.

    • Sue Adams profile image

      Juliette Kando 7 years ago from Andalusia

      Thank you RedElf.

      Please everybody vote for my story A Violent Marriage at:

      you have to scroll down to the bottom of the voting capsule where you'll find my nominated Hub: "A Violent Marriage" and then just click to vote.

      Thank you to all of you who have already voted but the more the merry-er.


    • RedElf profile image

      RedElf 7 years ago from Canada

      This is quite a story. I am glad you finally told it!

    • Sue Adams profile image

      Juliette Kando 7 years ago from Andalusia

      Thank you rmcrayne it's good to get things like that off one's chest.

    • rmcrayne profile image

      rmcrayne 7 years ago from San Antonio Texas

      Good story telling Sue on an important topic.

    • Sue Adams profile image

      Juliette Kando 7 years ago from Andalusia

      Yes Mega1, I was glad that Princessa posed the question on domestic violence. Those who suffer need as much help as they can get. I didn't even know it existed until it happened to me. And then, if you are isolated you think it's your own fault. You don't blame alcohol or your spouse's history, you just blame yourself.

    • mega1 profile image

      mega1 7 years ago

      Thanks for writing this and hopefully it will reach some of the people who are living this way - before death comes along. It is so sad that alcohol defeats so many people.

    • profile image

      madeleine 7 years ago

      Your story is very touching. I hope it will inspire others to come forward.

    • Sue Adams profile image

      Juliette Kando 7 years ago from Andalusia

      That is sadly so. Thank you for passing by.

    • Money Glitch profile image

      Money Glitch 7 years ago from Texas

      Stories like these always get next to me because unfortunately if someone does not put some space between the abuser and the abused someone dies way too often. Thanks for sharing!

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