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Abuse Allegations In Family Law

Updated on May 18, 2013

Manipulating The Courts Through Allegations

Falsely accusing your former spouse of abuse, whether domestic or child abuse, is a common tactic in the Family Court System. Don't be surprised if your ex throws this one at you. Given the current political and social attitude towards child abusers. It has become a witch hunt to eradicate these animals from our society. Because you are going through a divorce the chances that this tactic will be used are very good. The reason is simple: "If you are accused of being an abuser, then the kids will go to mom and you will pay through the nose to support her."

From The Dads House National Moderator:
Due to "unannounced" changes to Squidoo page designs, the Dads House Manual has been moved to http://www.DadsHouseEdCtr.org.


Approximately 28 States carry penalties in their civil child protection laws for any person who willfully or intentionally makes a report of child abuse or neglect that the reporter knows to be false.1 In New York, Ohio, and the Virgin Islands, making false reports of child maltreatment is made illegal in criminal sections of State code.

Twenty States and the Virgin Islands classify false reporting as a misdemeanor or similar charge.2 In Florida, Tennessee, and Texas, false reporting is a felony, while in Arkansas, Illinois, Indiana, Missouri, and Virginia, second or subsequent offenses are upgraded to felonies.

In Michigan, false reporting can be either a misdemeanor or a felony, depending on the seriousness of the alleged abuse in the report. No criminal penalties are imposed in California, Maine, Montana, Minnesota, and Nebraska; however, immunity from civil or criminal action that is provided to reporters of abuse or neglect is not extended to those who make a false report.

Eleven States and the Virgin Islands specify the penalties for making a false report.3 Upon conviction, the reporter can face jail terms ranging from 30 days to 5 years or fines ranging from $200 to $5,000. Florida imposes the most severe penalties: In addition to a court sentence of 5 years and $5,000, the Department of Children and Family Services may fine the reporter up to $10,000. In six States the reporter may be civilly liable for any damages caused by the report.4

To access the statutes for a specific State or territory, visit the State Statutes Search.

  1. Arizona, Arkansas, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Florida, Idaho, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, Oklahoma, Rhode Island, South Carolina, Tennessee, Texas, Virginia, Washington, and Wyoming.
  2. Arizona, Arkansas, Colorado, Illinois (disorderly conduct), Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Michigan, Missouri, New York, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Rhode Island, South Carolina, Virginia, Washington, and Wyoming.
  3. Connecticut, Florida, Louisiana, Massachusetts, Michigan, Oklahoma, Rhode Island, South Carolina, Texas, Washington, and Wyoming.
  4. California, Colorado, Idaho, Indiana, Minnesota, and North Dakota.

Dealing With Allegations

Of Sexual Abuse

Allegations that a parent or some other person has been sexually abusing a child should always be taken very seriously by that child's parents. If allegations have been made concerning the sexual abuse of your child, here are some things that you should do.

Investigation Of The Abuse:
Have your child seen by an expert who is highly qualified to determine whether your child has been sexually abused. (See below on how to qualify an expert). Insist that all "counseling" or investigative session between your child and the expert be videotaped or at least recorded.

If your child underwent a medical examination concerning the abuse, make certain that the results were confirmed with a colposcopy examination by a pediatrician who is knowledgeable about child abuse issues. A colposcopy is a magnification and photographic device for examining the vagina and cervix.

Obtain copies of all records concerning the EARLIEST statements made by the child about the abuse. If there are no, records, get sworn affidavits from the persons to whom the earliest disclosures were made.

Investigate the background of all the persons having contact with the child - especially those persons living with the child. Divorce and custody actions, sexual relationship problems, abuse experienced by either parent, etc., may provide some insight for the claims of abuse.

READ, READ, READ, all the materials that you can concerning child sexual abuse.

Child Abuse Experts

Child abuse experts may be licensed psychologists, social workers, or psychiatrists. However, the expert should have specific training in child abuse matters. One of the first things you should do is get a copy of the expert's resume and a list of any publications made by the expert.

You may wish to have the expert deposed to determine the extent of the expert's experience in diagnosing and treating molested children and the extent of his or her ongoing education in the field. Find out what data the expert is relying upon and the names of the people the expert recognizes as leaders in the field.

The expert should have handled numerous cases in which he or she found that the child was molested as well as cases in which he or she found that the child was not molested. If the expert comes to the same conclusion in the vast majority of the cases he or she has handled this may be a clear sign that the expert has a bias.

The expert should be highly familiar with "peer-reviewed empirically based" literature in the field. It is a good idea to find an expert who is a member of multi-disciplinary organizations that are active in unbiased research on the area of child sexual abuse. Find out if the expert treats children, who have been molested, are molesters, or non-abusing parents of molested children.

Finally, you may wish to hire another expert to analyze the expert's knowledge and abilities.

Your Child

You Think Someone Has Abused Your Child

Remember that revenge is not your primary goal. Keep your child's best interests in mind at all time.

Get help from a therapist or support group to deal with your feelings. Do not feel hurt if your therapist or attorney questions your motives for making child abuse allegations.

It is in your child's best interest to have your motivations thoroughly questioned. Quite often, children who misinterpret their parent's actions can make allegations of abuse. Often these children make abuse allegations to make one parent "happy" without recognizing the consequences of the allegations. Once an allegation is made, children often undergo an investigation process that can create memories of abuse that never happened.

Do not discuss the allegations of abuse with friends or family. Do discuss your concerns with your attorney and your therapist - these conversations are privileged. Discussions with anyone else could get you sued for defamation of character.

If the other side seriously challenges your credibility, ask the court to appoint a Guardian Ad Litem to represent your child's interests. Make certain that this attorney has specialized training in sexual abuse cases.

Discuss with your attorney and your child's therapists about the pros and cons of allowing the other side to have supervised contact with your child during the investigation stages. If the accused molester is your child is the other parent, remember that children who lose total contact with one of their parents can be just as adversely affected.

If Accused Of Abuse

If the police question you, remember that you have the right to remain silent and the right to an attorney.


Discuss with your attorney whether you should talk to child abuse investigators without your attorney being present. If you do talk to the investigators make certain a recording is made of the conversation.

Keep focused on your child's best interests. Many child abuse allegations are made in good faith. Understand that a parent who even suspects that sexually abuse of their child has a duty to investigate that allegation. Often these investigations will show that someone else is molesting your child.

If you have solid evidence that your accuser made up the abuse allegation, seriously consider suing that person (see below) for defamation of character or intentional infliction of emotional distress. Discuss these options with your attorney. Also, discuss with your attorney whether you should sue the other side's expert for professional malpractice.

Strongly consider only having supervised visitations during the investigation stages of the allegation. The person who supervises the visitations may be your best witness in clearing you of the allegation.

Discuss with your attorney the pros and cons of taking a lie detector tests. More and more courts are admitting these tests. If you do decide to take the test, make certain that your attorney hires the person who will administer the test. That way the test results may be considered privileged if they are negative.

Defending Against

First, you must fully understand that when defending abuse cases the accused is guilty until proved innocent. It is arguably the one crime or tort where the accused must literally try to prove a negative. To do so, please know that most judges and juries will err on the side of caution - on the side of a woman's or child's abuse outcry.

There are three types of accusers:

  1. Malicious
  2. Mental
  3. Mistaken

While only 2%-5% of abuse allegations are false; ones made in bad faith with malice aforethought, another 60% or more are unfounded, or without foundation. It is essential that your defense team be adept at adjoining science with the law.

In other words, your case will require an expert, or experts to work with your attorney because most attorneys do not understand what source misattributions are, or what other conditions could cause bilateral retinal hemorrhages, or the significance of male propensity testing in an abuse case.

It is essential you choose the correct attorney(s) to litigate (not mediate) your case(s) in juvenile, family, criminal, and/or administrative law court. You may also need a forensic trial expert consultant to work with your litigator(s) and help she/he/them with questions on Direct and Cross Examination of all witnesses, especially experts.

Impeaching a young child's outcry of sexual abuse cannot be done alone by an attorney without an expert reviewing and critiquing the child's forensic interview on DVD/Video/Audio/Transcript, therapists' session progress notes, medical rape exam report, and CPS/Police Intake notes, reports, et al.

Lawyers can only conduct a cross-examination, and recross, of adverse witnesses in court. They cannot issue reports that can come into evidence on the record and cannot testify in court as experts to reasonable degrees of scientific certainty.

Make no mistake. In cases of, "he said" - "she said" - and/or what a young child said - with no proof or evidence, your win or loss in court may very well come down to a battle of the experts. Moreover, they are not all created equal. However, take solace in knowing that an aggressive and proactive defense team, and strategy, can intimidate and force the prosecution/plaintiff/petitioner into a settlement; one that not only can clear your good name, but also afford you normal parenting time with your child(ren).

You should realize the impact that child abuse allegations, and/or charges, may have on your life. As a suspect in an abuse case, you may:

  • Have your child or children removed from your care;
  • Lose custody or visitation rights;
  • Be arrested and jailed;
  • Have your future career prospects ruined; and
  • Have friends and/or relatives turn against you;

If it is a sexual abuse charge, add to the list having criminal charges filed against you, your name added to a Central Registry of potential child abusers, labeling you as a sex offender. In some states, even if innocent, your name can still be added to a list simply because of the allegation.

This is all before you have been convicted, possibly not even charged with anything, and is supposedly presumed innocent until proved guilty. You may find yourself fighting charges in civil, criminal, and juvenile court, sometimes all at the same time. If convicted, you may receive a sentence for up to life in prison depending on the charge and the state in which you are convicted.

To make matters worse, case law exist to allow hearsay evidence as admissible in cases of child abuse. What this means is that the standards of evidence required for common criminals may not apply to child abuse cases. It is important to deal with the issue of child abuse in our society. However, denying individuals their Constitutional rights and due process of law to that end is not the way.

What About The Children?

You should be aware of the problems the child in an abuse case may face. They may be separated from you for long periods, even years is not uncommon in these cases. They may also be subjected to various physical, and/or psychological examinations.

During the interview process, the children may be turned against you. Eventually come to believe that something really did happen. Note the 1980s McMartin Preschool case where the "ethical" professionals guided the interrogation of the children to build their case. These are the same tactics used in POW camps as psychological warfare. All in the "best interest of the child" mind you! Poorly trained interviewers often "coach" a child into giving the answers they want.

The child may become confused by the leading format of the questioning and try to give the answers they believe the authority figure wants to hear. The child becomes labeled as an "abused child" and may be subjected to psychological treatment, furthering their belief that something must have happened.

The System:

What You're Up Against

The legal system is set up to protect the child at all costs. The theory in general is, if a judicial mistake is made; let it be on the side that assures the safety of the child. This is a fact that can greatly hurt you and your child.

From the moment an allegation is made, you will generally be treated as guilty and separated from your child. Most interviews are conducted with the assumption that something did occur. An unbiased investigator is rarely seen. Most interviewers are trained to believe that children do not lie, especially in divorce and custody situations.

The Court tends to believe the "experts", even if the "expert" is a poorly trained social worker or a physician who has never had experience with an abuse case. A small child's testimony about an event that supposedly occurred up to several years before your trial is enough to convict you in many states, even if no other evidence of abuse exists. The attitude of the public and the media towards an abuse suspect is usually hostile and prejudiced in a trial situation.

THINK BACK ABOUT YOUR OWN FEELINGS WHEN YOU READ ABOUT A CHILD ABUSE CASE. THIS IS WHAT YOU ARE UP AGAINST NOW!

Assessing Your Situation Today

  • Have the allegations become worse since they were first made?
  • Does my attorney have a successful defense record in handling child abuse cases? How much experience does he/she have in dealing with this type of case?
  • Have I arranged for experts who are nationally recognized in the area of child abuse to testify for my defense?
  • Have I taken aggressive, effective action in destroying these allegations or have I just been reacting to what the other side is doing?
  • How can I improve my situation TODAY?

Advice For The Accused

  • Do have all interviews with the child videotaped.
  • Take all allegations of abuse very seriously from the moment it occurs.
  • Do hire an attorney who believes in your innocence.
  • Do have the child examined by a pediatrician or (if appropriate) a psychologist of your choosing, if physical or sexual abuse is alleged.
  • Do not rely on the legal system to clear you, even though you know you are innocent.
  • Do not talk to the press.
  • Do not take a polygraph or lie detector test.
  • Do not take "good advice" from people around you who mean well, but know nothing about this type of problem.
  • Do not hire an attorney who has not won this type of case in the past.
  • Do not make any Plea Bargains or legal decisions with the prosecutor without careful consideration. No matter what you are told, you may not realize the implications of such action.

REMEMBER THAT YOUR ACTIONS WILL AFFECT THE REST OF YOUR LIFE AND THAT OF YOUR CHILD'S!

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      michelle 2 years ago

      My children were wrongly taken from me 14 years ago. My 4 children range in ages 15, 17, 23, and 26. The paternal aunt and uncle took my kids from me and paid for the other 2 dads attorney's. Not only was I denied any communication with any of them they were also abruptly separated from each other. After a long battle that ended with complete alaienation. My life was and has been in complete devistaion. Even more devistating is that 8 years after they were taken, while researching online one night I happened upon the criminal case, it said that the uncle was being charged with "most sereous case offence" of Child Molestation in the 1st & 2nd degree 6 different counts, 4 of which were against my second to oldest child. He was senta nced 8 to 10 years to life in prison. Ironically at the same time this was being revealed, the aunt files for and divorces him and claimed her victory and innosence. Then apparently with no hesitation decides to ship my daughter, who by this time is 16yo by herself to Texas to an undisclosed location. Further alienating her from myself and her sibblings. I had no idea of her wherabouts, her condition or state of mind and help, and despite many attempts get any type of help or answers through the aunt on a few occasions but mostly by contacting the paternal grandma. With no help or answers at all which left me in a constant state of anxiety, panick anf fear. It wasn't until late 2010 through facebook, I was able to find out that she was living in Texas. From that time until now I have continued to plead for her to acknowledge me and give me a chance to explain to her what i had been going through and how many times i had wondered and tried to find her, i was unable to get any response until finally a little more than a year ago i received my first message from her saying that "she was ready to try and forgive me and start over." Considering that out of all 4 of my kids I felt her and I had the strongest bond the entire time i raised her from birth til 8yo when these people took her from me and kept her completely away from me. I slowly was able to establish a small amount of communication with her, which included only a few messages back and forth through Fb and twice over the phone. Unfortunately she has since unfriended me and wont return any calls. Which leaves me very concerned about her wellbeing. I have dilligently spent all these years trying to survive and rebuild my life after complete devistation from this situation, these people and the system. I still have along way to go to heal from this as do my kids. I pray and work hard to try and re-establish comunication in any form I can with my kids and them with each other. Unfortunately last week I discovered that the uncle (perpitrater) was released recently from prison and is residing in king county wa. Not sure if this could have something to do with the sudden loss of friendship or contact with my daughter. The aunt changed her name after the divorse and is living in Vancouver Wa. There are so many more details about this case, and most of the conserns I have and facts are documented in various place I am working on gathering together. Unfortunately my children and I have suffered greatly on many different levels and areas at the hands of these people, and an uneducated and broken system that did nothing to help, listen or protect my family unit. Despite thae fact that I spent countless days, weeks, and months even years trying to fight to save what was mine, what i loved, what gave me reason to live, My Family. On a daily basis i would reach out to everyone I could, including legal agancies and information outlets, the state and government agencies, writing letters, making phone calls, and even a face to face plea for help to the Deputy Prosecuting Attorney, that resided over the first 2 and eventually all 3 of my custody battles, sitting in her office after I was laughed at because I was trying to see Norm Maleng, and was denied. I explained the whole story at that point from beginning and the relationships with thes other parties involved, I expressed my very real concern over the separation between myself and three children and six month old baby at the time, that was initiated by my babies father 6 weeks postpartum, and had since been revealed to me by him that "the Aunt had paid him" to help her in her long expensive custody battle for my 2 oldest children that she was going to lose. So in order to win that custody battle she initiated contact with my 3yo dad and my babies dad and offered to pay the fees for the attorney already representing my 3 year olds dad and the same Attorney that also at the same time represented my babies dad against me. Using lies, slander, and different claims of my whereabouts on both separate cases in the same time period. For instance in one case he claims he was unawhere of an address to have me served at, so he posted the info in public notice section. And within days apart on the other case claimed he new exactly where I was located and other false info (all of this is and can be verified in court recirds). Over the years not only did I experience many extreme situations and hardships, including a few suicide attempts, legal issues, false criminal charges, homelessness, drug and alcohol addictios, abusive qnd unsafe living situations, exteme depression and anxiety, a few stays in the psyche ward, and to make things even more difficult 32 abdominal surgeries and different health challenges I still am dealing with today, loss of everything I ever owned including (pictures, and sentimental things from my kids) more than once because I couldn't pay for my storage units, through all of this I lost my section 8 housing I had waited three and half years to finally secure foe my children and I, I lost my car and eventually my drivers license again after I spent 3 years and hard work to re-establish the loss of license in 1984. Im not perfect, and come from a broken home as a child living with alcoholic parent a in and out of foster homes and extreme poverty, I was emancipated at 16, shortly afterthat I met my 2 older kids dad fell in love and sttled down for 10 years with him, during which time we had two kids. I finally left the relationship in 1993 because it had become to toxic and unhealthy for my two kids and I. I moved into my first little apt with the help of my dad until I got a job and was able to be self sufficient. He didn't live there he just paid 100.00 of my rent. I worked making minimum wage, went to college part tine, church on Sundays and spent all tge rest of my time raisibg my two small kids the best that I could. So do to an inability to work, for both mental and physical issues I eventually started recievine ssi dissability from all of this, I am glad to say that I am doing better now in many areas but sad to say my oldest has been riddled with problemssteming from all of this but now at 26 and institutionalized and alienated I can only pray he will get better. Currently my 17yo girl has ran to the streets and drugs and just as I have seen and suspected these two are exactly where I feared they would be as a result of many different factors because of broken alienated dysfunctional parties involved. My 15yo boy has been living with his physical and emotionally abusive father most of his life. His father has been documented to be suspected of abusing him as a baby. I have been the victim of this mans sexual and physical abuse what was at one time doccumented with the courts. One final thing is that the aunt and uncke that initiated funded and facilitated this whole thing which involved lies, slander, desicration, manipulation and emotional and sexual abuse, that ultimately caused the complete separation and distruction of the bond and relationship that my chikdren and I shared with each othe, that I believe was unjust and irrepriable. Please if you can't help me I would appreciated if you coyld reffer me to someone that might. Justice and compinsation should be granted to my children especially my daughter who was molested by this very wealthy man for 8 years of her young innocent life

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      anonymous 3 years ago

      This post is different as it shows the exact steps one should take to prove one's innocence. Keep up the good work and I look forward to more posts like this in the future.

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      injuryatty 4 years ago

      I usually get bothered every time I hear stories about a child that get abused physically and sexually. How can they just do that with their own child, that was just so intimidating. It's just like ruining yourself, because that child came from you. Seriously, they are so evil.

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      @anonymous: It certainly is everyone knows the state is in big trouble right now after little Matthew the sac child hatchet slaying done by dad in this 9 year old boys sleep. To name one.It's a sad sad case. these children are majority of the time victimized by men not women. this blog raises questionable tactics being used in court. I would not take this person's advice. Just keep it fair and honest. This blog is not based on anz studies. the facts are not true!

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      This article is BULL PUCKY! In less than 3% of all contested cases are sexual abuse allegations brought forwards. this blog is a sham!

    • profile image

      anonymous 4 years ago

      Wow this really opened my eye's.

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      CristianStan 4 years ago

      I love the angle it takes it from, it shows you the exact steps you need to take to prove your innocency

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      Author

      George McCasland 4 years ago

      @leesholden: Here is the link to the full manual.

      https://hubpages.com/relationships/FathersRightsIn

    • leesholden profile image

      Lee 4 years ago from Derbyshire, UK

      Really useful book. I'm doing a lot of searching at the moment to understand more about law and this lens is great. Thanks

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      @anonymous: why wouldnt u report it

    • profile image

      anonymous 4 years ago

      im dealing with cps right now i leave on a military base and a neighbor complained about my kids. cps came 2 weeks after the call was made and and said my house was un kept on a military post the military has the right to come to your house at anytime and if u don't follow their guide lines u don't live on base she is not closing our case

    • profile image
      Author

      George McCasland 4 years ago

      @anonymous: This material is also now available as an eMnaual at this link. Though there is a charge for it, the FREE online material will remain, and be maintained. http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Fathers_Rights_eManu...

    • profile image
      Author

      George McCasland 4 years ago

      @anonymous: This material is also now available as an eMnaual at this link. Thought there is a charge for it, the FREE online material will remain, and be maintained. http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Fathers_Rights_eManu...

    • profile image

      anonymous 4 years ago

      I've written about my problems with Social Services at nomoresecretsandlies.blogspot.com/

    • profile image

      anonymous 4 years ago

      My family has been falsely accused and investigated 3 times with no proof of any of the so called problems. My four year old son was interviewed at his pre-school with no-one else present except the CPS worker. This could have been tragic.I was accused of dropping strong medication and my child eating it and me not taking him in to Hospital as I "was afraid " of the ramifications. As I knew this was not true I made the worker do hair follicle testing on both my children. Fortunately the case was dismissed as hearsay and nothing was opened. I requested a final report in writing and have yet to receive report. Note this accusation was almost a year ago, am I to gather it takes a year to type a report? I believe it is awful that based on an anonymous phone call,some one may show up, inspect your home, subject you to instant drug testing ans interview minors with no one else present. I once believed CPS was there to help people become better parents.....I have learned that is not true. Someday's my home is messy.....someday's I am tired . Sometimes we even get a pizza for dinner instead of a home cooked meal.....is that a reason to investigate ? I think not. best of luck to those fighting for their right to parent their own children.Educate yourself.....be polite but firm. Remember they have power..but they are people. And mostly , don't do things to have your child(ren) removed from your home.

    • profile image

      anonymous 4 years ago

      My wife told me she was leaving me after 4 days of my mothers funeral.Plus I had to quit working do too 2 failed back surgeries.Meaning she was going to have to work for once in her life now.So my income was cut in half and yet to receive my first payment.But all this didn't stop my wife having an affair while i was in agonizing pain,Physical and emotional.She dumped me within a month of me leaving my job.I have a beautiful little girl with her.And her son my step-son that I have raised for the last 8 years.Which he wanted to stay with me not his own mom.Because of her bouts of depression and anger issues.My little girl didn't want to leave her home either.So what does my wife do.I took the blame for our marriage having problems.Even though I didn't feel that way.I tried to look past all her lies.Bottom line.I did not want to see the kids have to go through hell over a divorce.Plus my own selfish reasons of wanting my children all the time.Im a father not s part time father.But my wife chose to go to the courts and lie about everything.Saying I was psychotic and leaving loaded guns all around our home.That I was hunting "phantoms" in our backyard early in the morning hours with my handgun out.Over the top bs lies that I was sure the courts would see how crazy she is.But no.The courts believed everything she said with NO evidence.She said I was a threat to our children.So I lost custody.It took me 5 months to see my little girl.And I am only at 1hr supervised visits costing me 45 an hr. once a week.Based on NO evidence.The courts side with the accuser no matter what.So this whole best interest of the child slogan is only that.An empty sentiment.Because they should have investigated and found out she is a lying piece of $#@%.Instead two little children have been taken from their loving father.A father that had them almost the whole day with me.Their mother saw them for 1 to 2 hours a day at the most.Because she was to busy setting the next sucker up to take care of her.Everything should come out in the end as far as me proving she lied.But.Will the courts fail to do anything to her for lying and disrupting the lives of two innocent children.And go with the let a sleeping dog lie theory.Not wanting to uproot them from their new home and rewarding her for lying?Not to mention all the damage that has been done already.It is the worst year of my life.I lost my mother,health,income.My wife buried me in debt at bolted.And the courts deemed that I shall pay all marital debt until the final hearing.Another slap in the face.On top of the thousands I have spent fighting for what was unjustly taken from me.And the worst part.The loss of my relationship with my beautiful little girl and step-son.I was a Deputy Sheriff for 9 years before I had to quit due to my health.And never did I realize how corrupt and biased the family court system is.I will never work as a law enforcement officer again.I simply do not believe in the system.I am ashamed to ever have been a part of it.

    • profile image
      Author

      George McCasland 4 years ago

      @anonymous: Depending on the state, you could be considered an accessory to the crime.

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      I am asking a question here. Can the (I) get in trouble for knowing of a sex crime in the family and not reporting it?

    • profile image

      anonymous 4 years ago

      @anonymous: wow this exactly is happening to my boyfriend right now. she is saying he has abused her for the past 10 years they were together. what happened at your trail? did the judge find sufficient evidence?

    • profile image

      anonymous 4 years ago

      It is true and I am living through. It has to end in civilized society. But, it is getting worse.

    • profile image

      anonymous 4 years ago

      If you truly believe that your child has been victimized you move heaven and earth to protect that child. However, spurious claims made by spouses as a ploy for leverage in a divorce is disgusting and should be viewed as a purposeful, malicious false accusation. Those who do this - client and lawyers - should be held accountable for this and then this tactic will stop being used. Lawyers should be penalized financially and face disbarment for acting in bad faith. As for the spouse making the claim, if they have made an accusation to gain a better divorce settlement this is tantamount to having put a price on the child. This is against the law, it is child endangerment and the spouse who makes the accusation should then forfeit the right to gain custody of the child/children.

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      It just happened to me to i was defecnceless to it i went to trial showed she lied and cryed abuse to gain access to my home emptied it while i was away working out of province she purged herself on stand and judge believed i committed an offence never ever took place ... be careful of who you trust speakn to men some women are wolves in sheeps clothing and will lye to hurt you and take everything you got.. make up story against the man cry abuse from months back and have your life destroyedike that ... no proof is need her word in court will prevail bottom line even if she is thief liar whatever women can get away with murder and laws in canada have to change....... shood have hard proof before charges can be laid not by a false story alone...

    • profile image
      Author

      George McCasland 4 years ago

      @anonymous: Then take the time to spread the word for that others can learn what to be doing, and how to prepare.

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      its happen to me nine years ago.

    • profile image

      anonymous 4 years ago

      it happened to me....fifth year of divorce is approaching....sick

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      childrens rights need to be re inforced by equal rights to elinimate the false allegations during court proceedings to which some men go on for years and the trauma the family courts are putting children through when they have knowledge it is happening with case brought before them, end it Now and there and then for the sake of fathers and mostly the children

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      @anonymous: Most states have domestic violence websites that list area resources that you can contact. You can also call the YMCA domestic violence hotline, or national domestic violence hotline. Some resources require fees or insurance coverage, and some are free to victims of domestic violence that have support groups and individual counseling. I am learning that you can only do so much legally for your children yourself. CPS's goal is to keep the parent's in their children's lives and the family together, so unfortunately they may not be the best advocate for your children. Document everything- names, dates, who, what, when, where, what the abusive parent has done and what you did. (this includes statements that your kids have made in the presence of other adults) Take them into the ER every time there is physical evidence, as soon as they arrive in your custody. The best advice I can give to you as a mother is to get your children into a very good child counselor. You can't change their father's behavior, and may not be able to protect your children from being exposed to his abuse. However, with a counselor you can help your child develop effective coping mechanisms, not internalize the abuse (i.e. I am bad, I have caused this, this is my fault), develop an understanding that this behavior is not normal healthy behavior, and have someone that will validate their feelings. The psychological and emotional damage that they have experienced will last far beyond the bruises. The counselor can also help them develop a safety plan. What to do if they fear physical injury (get to a neighbors house, call 911). Getting them treatment, may be their only chance at not continuing the cycle of abuse to further generations. Advice to you so that you can help your children while they are with you...is to give them a healthy view of relationships. Listen to them without judgement. Validate their feelings. Believe them. Tell them you are sorry they are feeling that way, or that (incident) happened. Tell them that you love them. Show them that you love them. Hug and kiss them often. Let them express opinions on what goes on with your family (ie what happens when they are with you). Abuse is about power and control. With their abuser, they have no right to their own thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and are only entitled to what he will allow them...One of the best books that I can recommend for you is "Why Does He Do That"- it discusses the attitude and mentality of the abuser. The follow up book to that is "Should I Stay, or Should I go". It will help you focus on yourself, and empowering you...A Stronger Mom, Yields Stronger Kids. (I am aware, for anyone reading this, that not all abusers are men. I use the term father/he because of the post I am responding to...all the information remains true if it was the other way around)

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      George McCasland 4 years ago

      @anonymous: You did not express what happen that resulted in the injury. What are the actual facts, and not what you think happened.

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      My son in law was arrested for child abuse w/o great bodily harm. My daughter is forgiving him and wants to allow him to see my grandson. We fear for his safety. Could my daughter be charged with child endangerment (or something)if she allows him to see the son? Would we be able to get custody if she does allow it?

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      philipcott 4 years ago

      very useful tips

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      George McCasland 4 years ago

      @anonymous: The problem that arises is whether the claims are true, or whether that are saying what they think you want to hear. As I teach fathers in this regard, if there is a question of safety, do not question the child about it, let someone better equipped to do so take the lead. Even questioning the child in advance of going to the doctor can set the trend. UCLA did a very good study on this back in 1996, in which 100% of the 300 students reported an incident on the same person, that never took place, as they had video recorded the interaction between the adult and each of the children.

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      @anonymous: I wish you had some responses. I am in the same sort of situation with my two sons. My sons are loyal to a point to their father. It is sad really. They fear him going to jail more than their one safety. It wasn't until recently one of them admitted, and in a very matter-of-fact way, that his bruises were from daddy pinning him down and punching him for hiding the remote control. I got him to a doctor. The doctor called in the report to CPS. I even have picture from before he left for his fathers. Yet, it has been two weeks now and not one word from CPS. Dad showed up out of nowhere for boys football game this weekend. Boys were nervous and scared to see him, questioning would he be mad at them? Why is he here? Played the worse game ever. I can't get anyone at CPS to tell me what is going on. Or if he has been contacted. I assume he has, a child support check arrived in the mail, he came to a football game, even asked to be on an e-mail list for the boys. All I want to do is what I promised...keep my kids safe. I don't want to take them away from their father. I do want to keep them safe. And I wish someone one in the law could tell me how I am suppose to do that within the law!

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      I live in Indiana and I am trying to get the word out about how CPS does NOT do their job. over 2 years ago, my son was physically and emotionally abused by his father. My child would come home crying from his fathers saying how bad his daddy hurt him, yet there was not any marks because he stayed with his dad for 4 days in a row. finally one day he came home and had told me about what his dad and step mom had done, he was bruised from the back of his neck to the back of his legs by a belt. Finally CPS did get involved and the father was substantiated on 2 counts of abuse, however they did not punish him AT ALL for the crime. my child has 3 mental illnesses on top of everything else and has PTSD because of what his biological father did. Im trying to find any type of support groups to help me as a mother cope. any advice?

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      Erick24 4 years ago

      @anonymous: Hi My name is Thomson just want to share my experience with the world on how i got my love back and saved my marriage⦠I was married for 5 years with 2 kids and we lived happily until things started getting ugly and we had fights and arguments almost every time⦠it got worse at a point that she filed for divorce⦠I tried my best to make her change her mind & stay with me cause i loved her with all my heart and didn't want to loose her but everything just didn't work out⦠she moved out of the house and still went ahead to file for divorce⦠I pleaded and tried everything but still nothing worked. The breakthrough came when someone introduced me to this wonderful, great spell caster Odulduspelltemple@yahoo.com who eventually helped me out⦠I have never been a fan of things like this but just decided to try reluctantly cause I was desperate and left with no choice⦠He did special prayers and used roots and herbs⦠Within 7 days she called me and was sorry for all the emotional trauma she had cost me, moved back to the house and we continue to live happily, the kids are happy too and we are expecting our third child⦠I have introduced him to a lot of couples with problems across the world and they have had good news⦠Just thought I should share my experience cause I strongly believe someone out there needs it⦠You can email him Odulduspelltemple@yahoo.com... Don't give up just yet, the different between âOrdinaryâ & âExtra-Ordinaryâ is the âExtraâ so make extra effort to save your marriage/relationship if it's truly worth it.please try and contact him he is a grate spell caster.....Odulduspelltemple@yahoo.com

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      I live in canton ohio I would like for everyone to know I'm trying to start up my own organization to help parents that have had there children wrongfully taken / put up for illegal adoption / sale a lot of innocent children are suffering in foster care we need to come together in all states we have to keep fighting for all of our children / grandchildren I would like for everyone in all states to contact we need a good strong organization in all states I need people in ohio to contact me & my landlord need help getting the organization started THE FOSTER CARE SYSTEM IS BROKEN Let's all join together to fight for all of our innocent children we need a lot of help / support WAKE UP ALL STATES JOIN THE FIGHT TO HELP PARENTS / FAMILIES TO BRING THERE LOVING CHILDREN / GRANDCHIDREN HOME SAFE TO THERE LOVING PARENTS If anyone would like to contact my e-mail is kindnessohio@att.net

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      my family has been harassed by dss in south carolina for over a year now each case has been unfounded, problem being they are continuing to try to build a case on us and they can't. it all started when my husaband and i took in a boy who had issues ,adhd and a crazy mother . we took him in to help him got him eating healthy, taking his medication everyday ,playing baseball ,etc etc. since then his mother has been calling and making false allegations. we took hair folicle tests n passed ,evaluations, and so on n so . the case gets closed then another is open. they went to our sons school without our permission and questioned him without our consent , the school did not notify and we are lookin for a lawyer to fight them ,sue them for a lot of reasons and causes we have had no luck finding one who has the balls to fight them.. please if anone knows a lawyer that will help .get back to asap for this familyis being torn apart for no reason

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      George McCasland 4 years ago

      @anonymous: Unfortunately, men are learning from what women have been doing to them for the last three decades, and it often is after talking to some attorneys who tells them how to do it.

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      My husband hurt us and had me arrested for nothing. I have a 5 year Restraining Order on me from my three kids. I never hurt anyone---not even spanked my kids. There is no proof anywhere, because I did nothing wrong. Spent some time in jail over this, have no money, no job, no car, no lawyer, not much at all...I had a TRO on him, but dropped it. He retaliated and I got screwed. Go America!! :(

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      George McCasland 4 years ago

      @donnetted: The lens is #8 on my lens ranking, and like many of them, hit rates have grown rapidly since last March when Google reworked their search algorithms. Hits have increased 1000%. Thank you for your comment.

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      Donnette Davis 4 years ago from South Africa

      Gosh! I read the lens and then read your guest book. This is a vital topic that you have covered, and i hope that those seeking guidance and assistance will follow through some of the recommendations. Blessed!

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      My wife used my daughter as a weapon from the day she was born.We were not married at that time.But I never even argued with her in fear of her following through with her threat.As a result.She manipulated me for the last six years.She quit her job so she could stay home because she did not want to work any more.I made good money.But her poor spending habits led us to a financial hell we will never get out of.I have had to quit my job due to health problems.My wife took all of a few months to dump me soon as she could not sponge off of me anymore.My mother died this year.My wife tells me 10 days after my mom passed away that she wanted out of our marriage.For no reason other than a break.Only for me to find out she was having an affair with a male co-worker.I bent over backwards trying to save my marriage.Making a fool of myself.Only to have her file false allegations of domestic violence.resulting in no criminal charges.Only a BS CPO issued.Because there is no evidence.Only a biased court system quick to destroy a father and daughter relationship at the whim of a lying cheating piece of trash wife's lies.I have spent thousands of dollars I don't have trying to get my little girl back.The courts could care less what impact false allegations make on an innocent man and his children.If they did.They would have investigated her lies and would have found out that she is the problem and not I.But no.It is so much easier to screw an innocent man and his childrens lives up than to punish the real abuser.Our justice system is a sham.I was a Deputy Sheriff for over eight years.I am ashamed to ever been part of a corrupt legal system.I will prove my wife lied in her testimony.That she walked out of her marriage because of being unfaithful and pursuing a new found life with someone else.Not because she was in fear of her life.Either the courts are plain stupid.Or they just don't care.I believe it is both.The judges and magistrates need to be held accountable for making poor decisions that ruin peoples lives.If I had done what my wife claimed.I should be in prison.Not hiding behind a piece of paper that would mean nothing to me if I was as dangerous as she claimed.But that piece of paper (CPO) scares the hell out of me.Because I am a law abiding citizen.And I have to jump through every money draining loop created to "prove" my innocence.I hope that every single one that was involved in myand other innocent peoples lives will one day meet a similar fate.Letting them no how awfull it is to be accused of doing something that they never done.And when they plead with someone to listen to them.Hear their cry for justice.That their cries fall on deaf ears.And they to will feel the sting of pain of not being heard.And told that nothing can be done due to rules of court.And the idiots that support VAWA law.Need to be a victim of their own biased and unfair law.Maybe then something will cjange.But it won't.Becayse the family court system is nothing but a money generating scam.That preys on the the very people that it is supposed to protect.And the real villians are rewarded for dishonesty and child abuse in the form of emotional abuse.The very things that the innocent person is being accused of.

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      Cynthia Kay Foster

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      George McCasland 4 years ago

      @anonymous: Unfortunately, coaching our children in order to set their path in life is a normal part of parenting. However, there will always be those who misuse it.

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      its deplorable that a parent would coach teir own chld to lie

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      George McCasland 4 years ago

      @montanatravel52: Someone agrees with you as there has been a 500% increase in hits since last March, and my article on the Basics of Child Support is up 2000%.

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      montanatravel52 4 years ago

      I'm a former attorney who represented thousands and thousands of kids and parents in divorce, custody, and child abuse and neglect cases, and I think you have provided some very good and relevant info and advice. Hope it helps others who are the "victims" of the "false accuser"!

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      George McCasland 5 years ago

      @anonymous: How do you get a circular bruise form an oblong device? A belt would not leave a circular bruise, it would be more like an oblong with defined edges. What state are you in?

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      My husband is sittin in prison cuz he got falsely accused by his ex-girlfriend for child endangerment wit bodily injury cuz his ex forced their son to say that his dad put a 6-8 inch circular bruise on his sons butt with a belt. But c what gets me is my husbands ex never ever paid attention to any of her kids and see when my husband had his son here with us she never called or answered her phone when their son would call her everday to tell his mom how his day went. And see another messed up thing is my husbands ex has had so many calls done on her for CPS and all they do is slap her on the hand and tell her don't do it again. And his ex has a confirmed case of child abuse and a confirmed case of denial of critical care on her and again the state didn't do nothing. And see my husband never ever beat his son like he got accused of. And another crazy part is child abuse is still goin on and my husband in sitting behind bars. If my husband is supposably abusive to his son the abuse would of stopped when he went down but it didn't still goin on. And trust me there is a lot more to this whole story. Plz feel free to ask if u wanna know anymore.

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      My son and his girlfriend lived with us for three years .my grandson was 6 months old or younger when the moved in .we even helped my son get a fixer upper ,needless to say after they moved out things fell apart .I did everything I could for this girl when they lived with us ,she told me of all the things he mother did to her as well as she has told others about how unfair her mother was while she was growing up ,she was addopted and I was told her own mother was a whore number one why would anyone tell a person their mother was a whore

      anyway ,I also was addopted and abused growing up (long story) anyway my sons girlfriend went back to her mother ,after which I started being accused of child abuse ,even before the girl moved back home this girls mother and brother started filing abuse charges against us .my son has a lawyer and we are going to court in august but none of our family has seen the kids since easter as she will not let anyone near them ,surley there is something that can be done

      I basically raised the little boy when she did not even want to come out of her room ,then ended up getting her iud removed because it made her fat and then she had another baby ( a little girl ) anyway this girls mother has been putting words into my grandsons head about me ,supposely cps had him in counciling but he has never come out and said nana did this to me because he knows i did not but i am sick of this girls crap and the length of time all this is just terrible to be accused of something that really happen to me for seventeen years is just sick ,I was even supposed to take a lie test to prove i did nothing but so far have not heard when and if this is really going to happen

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      www.recognizethebully.org

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      eormsby 5 years ago

      Excellent lens, really important topic that ought to be discussed more.

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      I was married for 1 year (state RI) to a man who was a convicted drug felon, who never worked and never contributed in the marriage. I filed for divorce after taking a domestic charge for him after he attacked and hit me because I found out he was cheating. He was on probation so if he was arrested for hitting me he would have had to serve the next 5 months in jail (which the criminal drug case is still pending since 2009) as he keeps postponing due to divorce proceedings. As the only working and contributing spouse to ALL our bills and expenses (as well as providing him a weekly allowance) he manipulated me in 2011 for 3 mons believing he wanted to work things out and not get divorce. Judge granted 6-8weeks postponement to divorce trial (as he claimed abuse since I took charge - but was later dismissed in criminal court as I told truth about protecting him only for him to have me arrested when I returned home next day - my first time EVER arrested and in police station). However from a wealthy family it was clear after he lied and never intended in resolving issues and working on marriage as I told judge after 3 mons of living together, paying all his bills and giving more money "that I had every intention in requesting to dismiss divorce today that my husband out of the blue tells me he wants a divorce" (and being completely landslided and clearly upset and distraught) judge moved trial to the following Monday since I was clearly unprepared and very upset. Since I chose my husband (who used, cheated and manipulated me many years in our relationship prior to marriage and during 1 yr of marriage) I lost the support of my family and friends and job. And to want to end the pain I wanted it over so I listened to the advice of my lawyer to give him large settlement of property that was in both our names (and mortgaged by hardmoney lender and a $150K loan from my father) to be able to get back in my home after being ordered out for over a year. While trying to get refi on home and not being able to do within the 30 days judge gave me he motion for contempt and not complying with divorce settlement - that he later contacted me again to try to work things out to only manipulate again for 5 mons now and out me in over $100K debt with credit cards (however having no support from family and believing misrepresented and provided bad legal advice by attorney when I signed property settlement I apparently agreed to all debt was mine even if in his name however this was in July 2011) and from 10/2011 - 4/2012 continued to manipulate, cheat, emotionally and financially incur over now $300K in debt with mortgage and bills. My lawyer only filed 1 motion during the course of this divorce proceedings from 2010-present (still ongoing). I know I was unfairly misrepresented, advised of all my legal rights and now after being in my home which I have paid solely I was ordered out by judge due to husband lying on stand. And judge advised during pending sale of home that nor my husband or I are allowed in home without commissoned realtor present as a lock box put on front door however for last month he has been living there as the realtor is friends or family with his divorce attorney. What do I do? Appeal family court decision to superior court? I have more than enough evidence as well as husband selling his BMW (which I paid every month for) as well as most of our furniture in home. He also has a pending criminal case that has been ongoing since 2009 which I originally protected him for and goes to try in June. My lawyer is pushing me to just have closing on home so that he get his money and this all go away as I know he did not have my best interests and did not present or advise judge of such things. No children, pruchased 1 home - husband arrested1 month and 3 months after married for felonies and I am ordered out of home for 1 year to be ordered out again because he said I was not complying with terms of settlement - UNTRUE AND LIES - had images, documents, texts, credit card statements all to prove but never showed in court. I had a VP of Sales job for 10 yrs prior to lose due to long divorce, emtional and stressful issues infering with work due to all actions by my husband. My lawyer yesterday said we still need to get divorce decree but don't want this holding up closing so please sign here (amount of bill $20K!! to be awarded to him from proceeds of home) I also am getting $0 out of closing after paying everything for last 3 yrs as commissioned realtor sold house for $282K when over $385K owed in mortgages, taxes and settlement - how is that possible when home appraised at $405K!! PLEASE HELP!

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      George McCasland 5 years ago

      @anonymous: Post your question here, along with the state that is involved. Also, were your married to the mother, and if not, have you gone to court to get parental rights to the child. Unmarried men have no presumed rights to a child born outside wedlock in the US, or any other country, except Germany, regardless of any related factors. The mother has sole custody and control, and from her, the maternal parents come next. That only changes when you get permission from the courts for parental rights.

      http://dadshouseedctr.qhub.com/

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      I was arrested in February 12, 2010 on false allegations of domestic violence. I requested a trial and the false victim failed to appear. The charge(s) were dismissed. On March 5, 2011 I was again arrested for false allegations of domestic violence that was perpetrated by both my baby mom and a county social worker. I was released on the third day without any charges being filed. However, 15 days later, my daughter was seized by the very same social worker that caused my baby mother to make the false allegations seized my daughter from my baby mom, and then failed to have my daughter placed in my custody care and control where my daughter unlawfully and continuously remains in foster care.

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      George McCasland 5 years ago

      @Kliedel: Check out the Index Page.

      https://hubpages.com/relationships/FathersRightsIn

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      Kliedel 5 years ago

      Good thing I was browsing about law. This lense really give substantial information I can use.

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      George McCasland 5 years ago

      @anonymous: Check out the Index Page.

      https://hubpages.com/relationships/FathersRightsIn

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      Your lense caught my attention. I commend this work because this is very informative and substantial. great one.

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      George McCasland 5 years ago

      @anonymous: Note, I went to Escondido High School, back in the day when they were just finishing I-5.

      Have you considered talking to an attorney about suing her for damages for maligning you character? Juries, especially those with older women, tend to be less of a pushover in this. Trying to find an answer this late in the game can be difficult, Consider coming to Dads House-California to associate with others in in you state to discuss this and come up with options.

      http://www.facebook.com/groups/CA.DadsHouseEdCtr/

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      My ex got me good. I had full custody, but she filed a false allegation of child abuse and domestic violence. She got my kid, and I jumped through hoops for a year. I am still being buried by San Diego, and I haven't had a single investigation or very much positive. And this is all right after my Dad died of cancer. My kid is sick all the time, has little hurts and pains, and doesn't get to see any of her family or friends from before. I've lost my home, job, inheritance, and my business. And, with child support, I don't see much of a hope of fixing this mess.

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      George McCasland 5 years ago

      @anonymous: Come join Dads House for your state t learn your rights.

      http://DadsHouseEdCtr.org

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      I was nailed for a 6 mos one about the 4th or 5th month I found out about the boyfreind and the divorce to come.

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      Dose anyone know what to do if your rights are taken for poverty I thuoght that was ageanst the law

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      Thanks for the support and advice! Please pray for things to be fair and go well tomorrow! GOD Bless to all.

      With love,

      Tiffany

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      George McCasland 5 years ago

      It is not so much a bias within the system as it financially benefits the state to confirm most claims of abuse, rather than investigate. Under the Mondale Act of 1974, the state gets an annual grant of $20,000 for each child they find to have been sexually abused. However, there are no requirements upon the states to confirming such abuse actually took place.

      It is nothing new. I remember the stunts my older sisters pulled back in the 60s. Fortunately, by 1968 they were both married and making someone else unhappy. This month, my other and stepfather have been married 52 years,

      https://hubpages.com/holidays/FathersDayGiftsOnADi...

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      @anonymous: It gets worst. With each day and night you have to be alone with your thoughts feeling like your heart has been ripped out of your body. You need to IMMEDIATELY get an aggressive lawyer with YEARS of experience of dealing with CPS. Fire this one if you have to because you don't get another chance once they have railroaded you and you lose at the CPS hearing. They are not there to HELP you, they are there to TAKE YOUR CHILDREN and tear your family apart!! Share this with your husband asap. If you do not take immediate action your children may be adults before you get them back and their lives will be forever ruined. Sorry to dump this on you at this time but you are in the fight of your life and it will not end soon. You also need to get a LOT of family support to help you stay focused and to pick you up when you're really down. Think about what and who you're fighting for and stay the course. Unfortunately when dealing with CPS you have to prove your innocence and they LIE, LIE, LIE!!!!!! If you can you have to hire help OUTSIDE of the system or you are screwed. Their job is to make you look like a monster and they protect each other, hide reports from you, do things to make you look crazy and people who have no experience with CPS tend to believe them instead of you because ordinary people cannot believe humans would hurt others in such cruel and vindictive ways. Remember the longer your kids remain away from you, their office is handed $$ from the system. Caseworkers are graded and rated and rewarded on how many kids are removed, placed in foster care and adopted out. It's all about money, not fixing or helping families, without broken families they do not have a job, remember they ARE NOT YOUR FRIEND, do not trust anyone and record EVERYTHING, document EVERYTHING everyday, who you spoke to what was said who said and did what, and watch for them to mess up on your visitations with your kids. Contact your Ombudsman. Speak with supervisors of the caseworker(s) if you are not satisfied with how your case is being handled. Most importantly DO NOT SIGN ANY DOCUMENTS with them, say your attorney has to look over everything first. Make sure your attorney has your best interest at heart and not just in it for the money. Do not take a PSYCH Evaluation through them, they cannot MAKE you do anything but they will TRY to railroad and threaten you into doing a lot of things. Do your researchâ¦lots of research, know your enemy, don't antagonize them, keep your cool and don't show emotion, cry into your pillow at nights, be prepared to go gray overnight from stress..the battle is just beginning and your life will never be the same again. Seek a support group, you will need a lot of help, financially, emotionally and spiritually. Be prepared for "friends" to walk away from you. Look deep within and find the strength all women have when their kids/family are being threatened...you will need it. Pray like you have never prayed before!! Sometimes God brings us to our knees so all we can do is to look up and hear his voice or feel his love. Whatever you doâ¦DO NOT GIVE UP!!! May God bless and give you the strength you need to help you and your family through this. After all this is over you can sue them all and be vindicated, but when you have your hand in the lion's mouth you have to stroke it's head! Be careful.

      With heartfelt love, L.R.

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      Author

      George McCasland 5 years ago

      @anonymous: Check the groups list on the main manual page and join the group for your state.

      https://hubpages.com/relationships/FathersRightsIn

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      I appreciate this site along with all the insight! My husband and I are going through this currently. The system has so far shown to be bias and unfair. My rebellious teen and her deadbeat biological father have come up with a way they can get what they want and destroy the rest of my families lives! I have two younger children with my husband, not to mention one on the way. My husband raised my teen daughter, without assistance from her bio dad. There is so much evidence that proves their motives, lies and deception. There is also lots of evidence that shows my husbands innocence. From the time my daughters bio dad brought charges against my husband and I, investigators, nor cps did any type of investigation. Weeks later, that stole our kids and through my husband in jail! All this was done without any proof or evidence of the allegations. Feels like the big and bad system is just railroading great parents once again. CPS has a motion filed against us in a few days and I feel that my lawyer is not going at it aggressive enough. My husband still remains in jail and all of this with absolutely no evidence to confirm the false allegations are true! I feel so alone and betrayed!

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      @George McCasland: I have had the same thing done to me but it was another family member, an in-law and they conued filing false claims thru CPS,in Alabama Researching it I found that it is and allegation that is always on file. If the claim is not closed then counseling can be requested along with a polygraph test for yourself will provide protection from prosecution to a certain degree, if they pursue prosecution then if you are charged then an attorney has to provided. This does not stop the loss of wages or the loss of a job, but if worried talk with an attorney and maybe he will let you build a retainer for future service if he is needed. CPS is a social protective organization if you are charged , without evidence. Then Civil action can be taken to recover all lost money,due to defense of the false accusation., but I am not an attorney and the laws differfrom state to state. I googled false allegations and the counseling and polygraph recommended is what I found. CPS by law has to investigate any and all alegations concerning a child.

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      Cusper 5 years ago

      A brief observation on Abuse allegations in Divorce and the âFalse Claimsâ penalties. First of all it is well known and understood in the family courts that false claims of spousal abuse are going to occur as a matter of posturing during a divorce filing. That may sound callous but there are far too many attorneys on record (male and female) who will tell you that they have advised for and defended against this very claim for a simple reason. It gives the filing spouse a period of presumptive control of family assets and custody of any minor children. It also gives them an early positioning in developing a narrative in claims for compensation. The advice regarding how to respond to a claim of abuse in a divorce, particularly in a PFA (protection order from abuse) filing is correct. Follow the order. Do not initiate communications or do anything else, other than GET AN ATTORNEY. In most jurisdictions, with little to no evidence (other than an affidavit asserting abuse of any kind â verbal, physiological, physical, etc.) a preliminary restraining order will be granted and a hearing date set to determine the merits of the claim and the necessity of the restraining order. Having researched these cases for a novel, I can tell you the ONLY GOOD outcomes I found was where the accused was 1) Innocent 2) Had a good attorney. There were plenty who were innocent, but without an attorney, they did not do well, at all. I mention this, because this is something that can be in family court or criminal court. When it is in a family court setting the rules are different and you are nearly having to prove a negative. Meaning the burden of proof is essentially on you, regardless of what the letter of the law says.

      As to âFalse Claimsâ in researching this for the novel, I found that there were indeed quite a few laws on the books about this and nearly no prosecutions or civil actions. A case worker I interviewed, admitted off the record, that they had several serial offenders of Child Protective Services claims. But referral for false claims had never occurred. So remain calm, and get an experienced attorney.

      Cusper Lynn, author, Facebook Ate My Marriage. www.squidoo.com/facebook-ate-my-marriage

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      George McCasland 5 years ago

      @anonymous: We would need more details. Come to Dads House and post a summary along with the state involved.

      http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Dads_House_Ed_Ctr/

      https://hubpages.com/relationships/FathersRightsIn

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      I had a false acccusation complaint against me to cps what should I do, I want to make sure it is 100% sure I press it to court to make sure my accuser has to face me as I prove them wrong

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      I had a false acccusation complaint against me to cps what should I do, I want to make sure it is 100% sure I press it to court to make sure my accuser has to face me as I prove them wrong

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      George McCasland 5 years ago

      @anonymous: Unfortunately, manipulative children will always be a problem. There was a story in the news last month about this problem. Often, it will come back to bite them. Growing up, my older sisters were the same way, and that was in the early 60s. One thing to remember is that you can record your conversations with your children, and theirs with someone else. They have no presumption of privacy.

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      what do you do after you are accused of abuse and then the same 11 year old tells cps workers and the doctor that examined her that she lied just to go to another state to live with her birth father but cps still wont drop the charges and you can't afford an attorney.

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      George McCasland 5 years ago

      @anonymous: Than create a lens about how in 60% of the cases where women file for custody that they will be accused of sexual abuse of children like men are.

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      You are stereotyping WOMEN as ACCUSERS!! Wrong! My EX-HUSBAND wrongly accused me! What a piece of work you are. Thanks!!!

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      This is very interesting, You are a very skilled blogger. Iâve joined your rss feed and look forward to seeking more of your great post. Also, Iâve shared your website in my social networks!Leopard UGG Boots, Cheap Leopard UGGS. Buy Leopard Animal Leopard Print UGGS For Women, Get UP To 50% Off And Free Shipping, Shop Today.

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      Please take a look at the blog âThe Unknown History of MISANDRY.â One of my current projects is to overturn the myth that before the rise of the (Marxist) domestic violence industry police and âsocietyâ ignored, tolerated and accepted violence against women. Many authoritative sources make this demonstrably false claim. Unfortunately many MRAs do not like to discuss the punishment of male abusers in the past because they wrongly feel such revelations tend to make ALL men look bad. But we need to overturn the lie, so we can show that the policies of VAWA are a failure. Awareness of actual DV has not increased at all; nor has actual DV diminished. Here is an extensive post on this particular issue -- http://unknownmisandry.blogspot.com/search/label/D...

      Also the âGreatest Hitsâ post -- http://unknownmisandry.blogspot.com/search/label/D...

      -- will serve to introduce many other relevant facts which contradict misandric ideology.

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      I am so glad my friend told me about your website. Thank you for what you are doing.

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      When is CPS going to listen to our children. My 4 year old granddaughter told us her father touched her private parts with his fingers and it hurt. We reported it to CPS and it took them three months to even have her seen by a psychologist (who agrees that something happened, yet they say his findings are inconclusive). In the meantime, we were told that, because she was only 4 she could not be believed. She cries when she has to go to his house, comes home wetting her pants and having nightmares. Her father has been telling her all along that her mother and grandmother do not love her...sounds like pedophile grooming to me, but CPS does nothing, but instead investigates US on a regular basis and ignores him because he has moved out of state (where we are supposed to now send her). Some protection!

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      Lhasalarha 5 years ago

      We must fight our rights for no one will have the courage to it it than ourselves. I like your lens and many will agree.

      you can visit my lens too..

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      LetLoveBe 5 years ago

      My ex husband (with the help of his 5th wife) recently acused me of abusing our daughter. He knows this is not true, he has stated that I'm a good mom, but he is repeating the extreme alienation his dad taught he and his siblings. I am sure this is more prevalent with females, but there are narcisstic and sociopath fathers out there who don't want to pay child support or share their child's affection and enjoy causing pain to those who escape. There is no telling what kind of damage this does to the children used for this.

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      HeartBroken62 5 years ago

      Great information. Very well put together. I am linking you to my lens as this information pertains to some of my work. Thank you for being such a caring individual!

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      George McCasland 5 years ago

      @anonymous: An attorney need not cost. You can reduce the cost through preparation and taking the time to interview attorneys. A less experienced (Cheaper) attorney willing to take payments, but employs an experience paralegal can be as effective as an more experienced and expensive one, The paralegal is the real backbone of any case. Often when an attorney dies or retires, their paralegals will go to work for a young, new attorney to guide and help them gain experience.

      https://hubpages.com/relationships/FathersRightsIn

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      My husband is goin through some shit where is his ex girlfriend is accusein him of beatin his son and leavin bruises on him. and we have been tryin to fight her so bad. and know my husband has a protection order on him and we went to court about it and they postponed it till the judge hears from the county attorney. and also his ex said that the dectective that is investigatin what is goin on wants my husband arrested. so we r tryin to look for a lawyer that will help us with this. the courts is also tellin my husband he is gonna probably have to get a court appointed attorney. we live in iowa so yea tryin to find one is so hard.

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      Well explained George! People involved in family law disputes should make a genuine effort to resolve the matter rather than just abusing allegation on each other.

      Divorce Services in Orange

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      anonymous 6 years ago

      @lawpost: The laws dealing with social service agencies regarding child welfare should be the same as law enforcement agencies, false reporting is a CRIME!! Once the law establishes such criteria, then a complaint affidavit can be signed, followed by ARREST if warranted..

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      anonymous 6 years ago

      False allegations can be combated with police complaint affidavits followed by arrests. This practice is used on occasion by Tampa,FL Police and should be adopted throughout

      the entire COUNTRY!!!

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      anonymous 6 years ago

      @Linda BookLady: Very informative blog. It is really happening in our society today. It's synonymous to dirt throwing. Very common to a child's custody cases.

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      anonymous 6 years ago

      Great article, I myself am going through the same thing. All rights to my child have been stripped away from me based on allegations, not facts (even after 2 court hearings).

      It is very easy to use to system to gain leverage or plain and simple not have to hire an attorney to handle any issue you might have with your ex. - Case in point.. 3 days after closing a year long custody hearing myself and my ex had 50/50 time sharing. The mother was not happy with the ruling and slapped an injunction against me! (3 days later). That stripped me over my parental rights as far as the 50/50 time sharing down to every other weekend, and one phone call per night not to exceed 15 minutes.

      Now my ex has made claims that I force fed my 7 year old daughter alcohol back in January of 2011, and just happen to report it 30 minutes after being served with court papers (motion of contempt) she was not even showing up for the court ordered, every other weekend visitations or letting me speak to our daughter.

      System is very easy to abuse - Something must be done. - http://www.floridadcf.org

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      ThomasNKlotz 6 years ago

      A family law attorney cannot tell you what to do or give you advice about your relationship. However, what a family law attorney can do is far more valuable to you in the long run.

      Law Firm Chicago

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      Mary 6 years ago from Midwest

      You put a lot of work into this lens and i agree with every bit of what your writing.

      This subject is dear to my heart. You have don't a great job on helping everyone understand what and how this need to processes. I will spread this lens around where ever i can.

      Thank you

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      lawpost 6 years ago

      False abuse allegations are an enormous strain on our society. We waste resources performing needless child protective services investigations. Moreover, if baseless accusations are supported by government bureaucrats as a result of sloppy work and/or erring on the side of caution, the waste becomes exponentially more significant: state action is brought (either in criminal or juvenile court), public attorneys are appointed to represent the accused, and Guardian Ad Litems are appointed to represent the children. Of most significance, the rights of the accused to parent children may be wrongfully abrogated. Unfortunately, those who bring false allegations are rarely charged with a crime.

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      Linda Jo Martin 6 years ago from Post Falls, Idaho, USA

      In depth information! Very helpful! I'll put a link on FightCPS.com...