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Knowing the signs of Abusive Relationships

Updated on June 25, 2017

Signs of Abusive Relationships

What are the warning signs of an abusive relationship? Have you asked yourself this question and can't come up with the answer? You have come to the right place since this site is in dedication and memory of a dear person that was abused for many years. No one ever knew because help was never sought . There was only one outsider to witness the abuse that was enforced, but was just to young at the time to do anything about it. Therefore this site was written to hopefully help someone in desperate need whether relating what one is going through or giving someone the strength to stand up for themselves or just listening.

Most abusive relationships end up pretty messy when you don't seek help or just plainly don't see the signs.

This doesn't make you a weak or bad person just someone that doesn't know what to do.

So, here are some signs see if any apply to you.

Make the decision

Courage, get some!

You can't change your partner from being an abuser. Unless they are willing to get Medical help. Most of the time the abuser thinks they are not the one with the problem. Until they admit that they have a serious problem your situation will only get worse as time goes on.

So how do you make the decision to stop being the abused Victim?

COURAGE!!!!!

Once you have the courage this will allow you to make that decision.

I know this is probably not the answer you were wanting of waiting for.

But,

only "YOU" can make the decision to stop being abused.

The reason I say this is, victim's are given advice from family and friends all the time.

Most victim's "Hear" the advice but most likely never take it.

The "Courage" comes from only the victim.

Once they have had enough of the abuse, they are most likely to do something about it.

So how do you get that courage? Only YOU can answer that.

Not being Respected

RESPECT determines a whole lot in a relationship.

If you are not being respected by your spouse. Everything else will not fit in.

If the Abuser :

1) Raises their voice at you or over you while you are trying to talk

2) Telling you what you're doing is the wrong way they will show you the right way

( even though you were the first one to show the abuser how to do it a few month's ago)

3) Criticizing you about anything and everything

4) While talking to people the abuser brings your name up about something stupid you did, never anything good you did.

5) Expects you to have a full course dinner on the table EVERY NIGHT. Because it's your duty !

6) Nit-picking finding fault in anything most of the time it's petty stuff

7) Every situation, no matter how seemingly trivial, evolves into a fight

8) Always being sarcastic towards you

Plays Mind Games

Makes you second guess yourself

You are never warned when these games begin. They will often start when you are off guard. That's why you never win and the abuser always does. They come at you hard and fast thus makes you second guess yourself in the end.

Trying to confuse you. Most of the time you can't remember what you did or said because you have so much on your plate of rules you have to remember just to eliminate any spark of controversy.

Abuser's always think ahead

Wants you to have nightmares so you can't sleep.

If you can't sleep during the night, you won't have energy to think the next day. Keeps you weak minded.

Yes, they go that far! They think of every little detail of things they can and will do to you. If your mind is weary and tired you most likely will never catch onto what their plans are and what they are doing.

Some abuser's even go as far as hoping YOU will just kill YOURSELF. How extreme is that?????

How many of you reading this have had thought's to just kill yourself and get it over with? Please.....get that thought out of your head right now and seek help.

No one deserves to be abused by another Human being!!!!!

Can't have Friends!

Do you have any?

There was a time you had many friends. But now, you have NONE. How did the abuser make you get rid of all your friends?

Here are a few examples:

1) Friends calling to much, not leaving time for him/her

2) Friends coming over to much or staying to late.

3) Friends treat them differently when your not around.

4) Doesn't like your friends spouse and wishes you wouldn't try to make him/her get to know their spouse.

Now, you start making excuses to your friends when they call you don't answer, when they come over you tell them you were just leaving, when they invite you to go somewhere, you tell them you have made other arrangements already.

Slowly but surely you have kept yourself away from your friends. If you think they haven't noticed.

YOU are WRONG!

You are unhappy and the abuser is Grinning.

Did you know that Your Abuser Studies You?

So you're thinking, today is a good day and you're being verbally free, just laughing and talking about anything in General. Did you know that your abuser was studying you all that time?

Studying your weaknesses and goes for it. You, in the meantime have no clue of this because he/she is happily interacting and laughing with you.

But then, seconds later, the BOMB drops!

The abuser throws everything back in your face that you discussed a few minutes or weeks before. Except, they have turned everything around by adding things you never said. Once again twisted your conversation.

The abuser has lurked upon. Studying your facial expressions you give off, your body language, your wording and you never noticed, didn't give it a second thought. How and why does he/she go through such extremes to hurt you, degrade you, sadden you? You think, What is wrong with this person? There is never a peaceful time in any day for you. Believe it or not, but the abuser is the INSECURE one.

Walking on Eggshells?

You feel like your walking on eggshells, all the time!

One minute the abuser is happy and loving, the next Loud and mean.

You never know what arouse's the abusive behavior. You're always making sure you don't say or do anything that will trigger the outburst. So, you stop telling the abuser things. You don't volunteer conversation most of the time because it usually back fires on you. Have you even stopped to think that you have turned your self into the PERFECT person doing or saying nothing wrong? Yet, you still get punished one way or another!

The abuser cries after punching you

Your curled up on the floor with black and blue markings all over your body.

Tears streaming done your face. Your body can't stop Shaking and Shivering for all the pain and disgust for yourself and the abuser.

The Abuser just looks at you and falls to their knees in front of you with tears streaming done their face .

Begging you for forgiveness and how sorry they are for hurting you. This will never happen again, EVER!!

So what do you do? You give in and say..." It's Okay"........" I shouldn't have"......."It was my fault"......

Because, you are still afraid and saying these words just might keep the abuser calmed down and there might be a small chance this won't happen again.

WRONG! This will happen again. It will always happen, over and over again.

Emotional and Verbal abuse

Always feeling depressed, stressed, unhappy and tired.

Can't make any decision's on your own?

Can't sleep or sleep to much?

Eat to much or not at all?

You just can't "THINK".

Emotional and Verbal abuse is just as bad as physical abuse. It can ware your mind down fast, giving you Low Self Esteem and putting you into deep depression! Once you are there and don't get help. Makes you vulnerable and your situation will only get worse for you.

Is there such a thing as Economic abuse

Holding you back

Economic abuse is when the abuser has complete control over the money and has you on a strict "allowance', withholding money and forcing you to beg for the money until the abuser decides to let you have some.

You aren't allowed to pursue an education or get a job. Wants you to stay at home all times.

Therefore you will be solely dependent on him/her.

Who can you turn to for help?

You not alone

So, who CAN YOU turn to?

National Domestic Violence Hot-Line. Is an Option. Just a phone call away.

Don't be ashamed, don't be afraid.

You are stronger than you think. There is HELP out there. You have to get the Courage that is inside of you to look for it, to get it.

Help is available to callers 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

1-800-799-SAFE (7233) be sure to call!

Control and Manipulation

Feeling Helpless because you are being Controlled

A Controlling and manipulating abuser tends to look like he/she have their act together. To people looking from the outside he/she plays nice and makes them believe they are a loving partner. But, behind closed doors he/she does this:

* Your not allowed to make decisions

* Makes you ask for permission to leave the house.

* Gets mad when you come home late.

* Cut's you off from everything and everyone.

* Strikes tables or walls, or throw objects.

* Telling you what you can and can not wear

Excuses for Verbal Abuse - Alcohol and Drugs

If alcohol or drugs aren't in the picture....then what is the excuse?

Clear mind, I would say that is the worst abuse. So that means the abuser knows exactly what they are doing.

If they were Drunk or High then You would have some kind of answer as to "Why" your being hurt all the time. But then, that will only give YOU the excuse to make for them. Oh....they didn't mean it.....they were drunk/high.

  • Alcohol
  • Drugs

Every Day Life

Life itself is hard enough. The daily pressure of trying to survive it is not an easy task.

Having a job, raising children, paying bills, staying healthy. Are only some of the struggles to deal with.

But, then having someone that hurt's you that is supposed to be loving you is a struggle in itself.

Pretending every day that it will get better soon, is a lie. Especially if you are still there with the abuser.

Feel like a Punching bag

It's so bad, you feel like a free punching bag ? Always receiving the blows, whether they are verbal or physical ones. The punches just seem to keep on coming! Mean, Hateful words coming out of the mouth, just pounding thru your head. Punches stabbing at your body, draining you, bringing you down more and more each minute. You can't fight back because that sort of treatment to another person is just not in you.

Your in total shock that the one you love is doing this to you.

Things you should have prepared if you plan on leaving

Pack together all your necessities

* Put some money away

* A change of clothes

* Make duplicate keys such as house and car

* Birth certificates

* Driver's license or passport

* Medications and copies of prescriptions

* Insurance information

* Checkbook

* Credit cards

* Legal documents such as separation agreements and protection orders

* Address books

* Valuable jewelry

* Papers that show jointly owned assets

Have it all ready so when you are ready to leave you can grab and go!

Message for Teens and young Adults

Don't let a person take control of your mind!

Young People , please listen while I give you some pointers about abusive relationships. I'm not an expert just a caring person.

Hopefully you have read and understood all the signs of an abuser that I wrote.

Just because the person is good looking, drives a fancy car or has a pocket full of money. Does not give them the right to mistreat you.

It does not mean they love you. Don't get it twisted.

Loving one another means: kindness, respect, understanding, giving, protecting, gentleness, compassion, nurturing.

It's not a fairy tale. There are people out there that are all of the above. Believe that for sure!

Thank-you for coming by

Please don't leave any Spam on the wall. This site is for Helping abused and Hurting People!



Your not alone. Tell someone! The more you talk about it the more Courage and strength it will give you.

Please don't Spam the wall. Abuse is a very Serious Subject. This page and comments are for those that are seeking help.

Thank you for understanding.

© 2009 ramonabeckbritman

Are you being abused? - Need someone to talk to?

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      Sad lady in trouble 11 days ago

      I am widowed for nearly 3yrs now..i had a bf for 8mos who is married but her wife is living abroad with their 2kids..he is a good person he showed how much he loves me he even bought me gifts and he would pick me up ahead of time when i asked him if he can give me a lift but i noticed that he is a very sensitive person with a high pride for himself.if i said something he would react at it the other way arround so we ended up arguing and that leads us to misunderstanding..but everytime it happens i would always be the one to reached out first..sometimes he does but its always me..he would even say things like "go to hell" i was hurt but i fall for him deeply that i felt like i dont want to break up with him am tired of being the one who would always reconcile so things will go smoothly again between us..until i came accross with this page ..i wish i hav the courage now to break up with him and be truly happy.

    • profile image

      Anonymous 2 months ago

      My fiance and I have a daughter together he's hurts me and uses many abuses it's very difficult but one day my depression got so worse I did something wrong and now he's using it against me to try to take my daughter away I have no friends no family he says what's happens in the stays in the house their where police reports I tried to press charges but I'm stupid for still living him we have a daughter and a new one on on the way all I do is stay in the house he won't even let me to go to the store by my house because my ex works their he wants me to go to a far one but still he hides things from me like a fb it's like my tears make him powerful like yesterday he got mad because I was using snapchat and he got mad three my phone and when I cried he said stop and then a few mins later he came back to me took of my glasses and said u look so innocent with ur eyes and face but than changed his attitude back to mad but all of this I'm gonna listen to and get away

    • profile image

      Linda 12 months ago

      Hi! Thanks to Robinson.buckler @ yahoo. com }! for helping me out with my relationship problem, i was having issues with my boyfriend, which led to breakup ‘so happy’… that Mr Robinson buckler ‘was able’ to bring my boyfriend ‘back’ …

    • profile image

      What should I do 2 years ago

      Ok so I've been stay at home mom for 10 years now last year took nurse classes to take care of dad that was dieing if that wasn't hard enough lost baby then have abusive husband get mad ever time I went over to help dad saying I'm taking time on his time not to mention dad passed now no job he's constantly telling me I'm worthless to go get job a little hard to work around kids school soccer dinner feed animals so he don't give me gas or any money make sure I have no way of getting money don't take me no where does all the food shopping bills ect I have no clue then says all are stuff is his yes he works hard but so do I he just acts like I'm stupid everything I do or touch I screw up never hear anything positive come from him never can go do anything only he gets to go on weekend fishing trips chases me down acting siko if I leave and not afraid to umbaris me

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      AmandaNicolle11 2 years ago

      Right now, I have absolutely no hope... I feel as though I can't go on like this for much longer. After reading this, I am 100% for sure in an emotionally abusive relationship. It hasn't turned physical yet. We have been together for 4 and 1/2 years and have a 2 and 1/2 year old beautiful daughter who is the light of my world and yet our life is so sad.. I have no support system but I feel like this is damaging my daughter and its not fair. I dream of leaving this living Hell behind and rebuilding my life with my daughter who deserves to feel love from everyone surrounding Her even if that person is only me. I love her more than I've ever loved anything or anyone and I want to just watch her grow and be happy and sure of herself. I don't want for her to ever feel scared again because someone was yelling and that someone wasn't me... So many hours spent trying to just have some respect and compassion and stop yelling because our daughter was trying to sleep. It is not how she should have to live her life... Or how I should have to live mine. Anyone out there, please help... Where can I go? What can I do? I will do anything to get us out of this horrible situation we are in..

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      molly 2 years ago

      I punched in some of the actions of my husband and found this web site. OMG all his actions are there (but he does not hit me). Now I have mixed emotions again, through conditioning no doubt. I am so relieved that I am not mad- bipolar-schizo- stupid etc that this is happening to me and it is real. But I am also so sad that I have been seeing the signs, accepted the blame and endured it for so long. Then I also know I haven't yet got the courage to leave - where do I go? It also means I will have to tell people and I feel that I have been so weak, living a lie and will people believe me as my husband is so nice to others.

      The strange thing is the realization of what is happening creeps up on you and you accept it.

    • profile image

      radhika 2 years ago

      I am an indian and mother of 3 children I am victim of such relationship but being an Indian it is very difficult for me to leave such a husband.I have to accept it as my fortune like other Indian women.I told all this things to my family but they advised that you are a woman and a mother so acccept it and live happily otherwise your and life of your children might be ruined. Now....

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      anonymous 2 years ago

      I had a relationship with a great lady. It began because she was living with a married couple after a long bad marriage. I had been widowed for over 7 years. I was lonely and needed help with my handicapped child. We dated for a while and got along greatly. The husband even took credit for getting us together. After a couple month she asked if I wanted her to move in. I said yes and so she also took the providor job for my son and they got along great. After 5 months of happy cohabitation. My married "friend" exagerrated his heart condition. Then he asked my girlfriend to move in with he and his wife cause he wanted her in his life now because he wouldn't live long. She took a month to decide to move out of my house but keep the job working here. As soon as she was in their home, he told her that their wouldn't be any sex because of his heart. She came straight to work and told me she was sexually challenged now. So we began a friends with lots of benefits for over a year. We were even pretending I was out of town so we could sleep together. I am certain he couldn't stand us being happy. So she went out of town to work. That didn't pan out so she came back and my "friend" drove his wife who was sickly he drove her crazy and divorced her. What can/should I do to get my girlfriend back. This narcissistic guy is going to hurt her and then I will do something stupid and go to prison. ?????

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      Fghjk 3 years ago

      We've only been married for 6 mos but we were in long distance relationship for 2 years where he flew back and forth to my country several times until I got K1 visa and permanently live with him. At first he was this gentleman where everybody I know thought that he was such a nice guy. Of course, I did too. But then as our relationship went by, he suddenly changed. He became more controlling wherein I can only meet with my relatives and female friends, I had no idea and was simply shocked that a long distance relationship could be so suffocating. I've asked him never to go back and have a vacation in my country lots of times, but he still insisted showing up in our house again and again. I've broken my engagement with him a few times too but he still stayed and played nice with everyone I know. Then the day came where I had to go with him back to his country USA. I actually cried to my parents and asked them not to let it happen. I know it's my sole decision but they told me that I should at least try. So, against all my will... I did. His family is nice. I have no problem with any of them. But the thing is I've seen and felt so many red flags even before marrying him. When I got here I was ready to be a housewife for awhile since I wasn't allowed to work yet and had to wait for tons of legal documents to be done. We had a civil marriage, since not all my immidiate family have visa. The problem with our civil marriage was about my name. I actually didn't want to change my family name since I was born and raised with it and took pride using it. It was my decision to make. It was under the law and a paper was actually handed out to me stating that law before signing any final and legal documents. He got mad at me with my decision and forced me to use his name. So I settled for a hyphenated last name. Keeping my original middle name and last name hyphenated with his. It was the moment I knew my identity would be somewhat lost.

      Weeks after our marriage, our relationship was actually pretty fine for most days. Because he's mostly at work and does overtime. We only see each other a few hours a day. I have no complaints doing all the chores and everything else needed in the house since it's the only job I can do for now. But it sure wouldn't hurt if he learned to help doing some chores when it's his days off.

      My focus is to save money for our future. Since we're planning to have our wedding celebrated with everyone in my country soon. So I make sure we spend our money wisely. We agreed with that. Well, that's what I thought. Soon enough he started purchasing stuff that weren't really needed, like speakers that he only used once, he bought it because he got a $10 off. New set of car wheels with rims which I know were overpriced $700 because he only needed to change 2 of them and also his dad told me that he just changed his son's tires not a year ago. He also just bought an ipad since his phone was too small to play clash of clans...he's 30 years old...paying for stuff that he isn't even supposed to pay for her sister's 29th bday where he spend $300 for dinner for 5 people, he wanted to pay for that dinner because their mom bought her a new iphone and he felt like he should be paying for something too and a lot more overpriced things. He wasn't saving anything. Actually, he was just paying for everything with his credit card full of thousands of debts which he pays a few dollars more than the minimum a month. I got mad at him with all his expenses. Instead of saving for the future, he just kept on spending and spending without even thinking about our priorities. He still lives like he's still single without any plans for the future. I don't even think of bringing up anything about planning to have a baby since I know that bills will just get worse. We've got almost $3500k to $4000k worth of bills a month. And he's blaming me for not being able to work. And telling me about all the money he spend for his previous surprise gifts when we were still dating. Gifts that I didn't ask for and couldn't care less if he had any for me. He got mad about all the shopping I did when I first came here. Well, sure I did a few needed shopping since all my clothes from my country were for summer weather since we don't have winter there. So yes I needed to buy closed shoes and socks and a few sweaters and jackets thicker clothes from ross and marshalls and bought some extremely sale clearance clothes from other stores, where I'm pretty sure I'll be needing. But will I spend $300 for a one time use thing? Never.

      So he got very angry at me when I complained about how he wasn't obliged to pay for her sister's dinner celebration. I know he was just trying to be thoughtful but even their mom and his sister got shocked that he already paid the bill wihout telling anyone. Since they know that we're only starting our marriage and we needed the money more than them. He got mad at me and started cursing me and my entire family. Yes, he didn't laid a hand on me but he said all the bad words he knew all the way our drive back to our apartment. He told me that he would never and shouldn't ever discuss any kind of payment transactions with me since he was brought up that way. That I have no say or opinion to anything he wants to spend his money with since it's his money. Of course, I got mad and told him that he shouldve never married me or should never marry anyone else for that matter since it's not how marriage works. He even told me off about all the shopping I did. Of course, I felt guilty buying bargain winter clothes since it's still a purchase. But then again I never asked him to pay for it. In fact, I brought my not so much life savings from since I was born with me and have been spending it for some groceries and a few times for dinner out. He told me that he was spending too much from all the paperwork we did for me going here and staying here. It was his choice to bring me here. I never wanted to leave my family and my country. I know I sound stupid because I still decided to come live with him and marry him despite all the red flags. But I felt like I'm strong enough and soon will find work and show him how wrong he treats me. He told me that I'm useless since all I do is clean the apartment and do all his laundry, cook for him and do all the dishes. He told me that I don't make the money so I shouldn't have any problem where he wants to spend it with.

      I never knew he had thousands of debt because he once purchased a very expensive motorcycle about 8 to 10 yrs ago and hasn't paid the full price until now. Since before we met he did a lot of travelling in different countries and spend a lot partying and being single. That motorcycle is now seriously broken because he had a DUI. I only found out about it when I got here and was terribly shocked since I came from a family who has never had any kind of debt. Some of his friends were offering to buy his motorcycle or some of its usable parts but he doesn't want to sell it because of sentimental reasons. He's not using it since it's broken and has not used it for more than 5 years. Never even tried to fix it.

      Another thing is the way I wear my hair and clothes and everything else in my body. He constantly gave me negative comments about whatever I wear. He always wants me to wear short dress and shorts and heels even though we're only going grocery shopping or just going to his parents house. He always wants my hair long and never tied. I always have to wear make up. It's like I don't even know what's happening to me anymore. I have no idea why he's treating me that way. I can't even be comfortable with my own clothes and he doesn't allow me to cut my hair. He gets really mad at me when I wear flats and normal tshirt. One time I was forced to wear stiletto only to find out that we're going to a farm-like place where nothing is cemented. He laughed it off and his dad told me that I should have worn flats. I let that go.

      But right now, I'm just realizing what we have isn't marriage. I'm trying to be okay and just let things go but I really think I need help already. I cannot live like this anymore.

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      gdonut 3 years ago

      FYI to anyone that has children in an abusive relationship involving a step-father: 25 years ago I experienced an abusive situation that involved domestic violence, rape, and found out years later had molested my daughter. It's 25 years later and now my daughter suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder and wants to be my abuser as well. GET OUT because with the abuser's lack of character they can cause destruction not just to your own self esteem, mental state, or body. It can last your lifetime even after you get away from the.

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      Noname 3 years ago

      I know this won't be believed but my wife does everything in this article except hitting. My life is very unhappy. Friends aren't allowed to come over, and we don't go out with friends, even though several have asked many times. my check goes in the bank, if I say I want to buy something I am told we can't afford it, I know we can. I try not to argue over money my parents did and I swore that I would not put money between my wife and me. If I say I like something then she does not like it, even if it's something she liked in the past. She may not hit but I pay every time I'm happy. But she always has an excuse "I'm not mad I'm just quiet" but if looks could kill.

      By saying this I am not saying I am perfect. I make mistakes too. We have been to counseling, the counselor encouraged her to see someone on her own, she refused. That was years ago. I have asked to go back but she refuses.

      I don't know why I am saying all this. I was doing a search to try and find help and came across this article. It just that all I find is about abusive husbands well wives can be abusive too. It's embarrassing to admit that my wife treats me this way.

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      maria 3 years ago

      The point in your relationship was u people were married u can compromise for ur children sake ..bt if a person isn't good while being a boyfriend what is the surety he will be a better husband later .. I myself want to fix thngs bt I couldn't ths time becz I guess I want respect in my relation .I have started feeling insecure that he wud leave me at nytime becz he keep on threating me ..I hav almost fixed 20times each time I have to compromise bt I nva eva imagined to c him using abusive language nd what he did was just not acceptable .. I still have a soft corner for him becz I truly love him bt I don't want to live wid a person who is like that ..he started restricting me for cetain thngs which inculde my career too ..I don't knw why he didn't tell me abt ths befre now suddenly he started up having certain rules nd regulautions for ths relationship ..I broke up bt I am going through depression state I coudnt focus on my studies ..nd according to him hex happy leaving a girl like me becz I dnt deserve a person whox better than me =( I just need help so that I can get better mentally nd physically too

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      Maria 3 years ago

      I was in a pretty cool relationship I didn't notice where it was taking me then suddenly things changed nd I realised I am walking in egg shells my entire life was bound for him ..my only motive of the day was hw to keep him happy ..when things didn't make out I told him to end up ths relation ..In return he used abusive language wid me nd blamed me for each nd everythng which happened I don't even remember if I hav used those words bt according to him it was a new story I created ..all he demand was money becz he was in sum financially issues .. I don't knw what will happen next I just want my peace in m lif

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      valsawolverine 3 years ago

      thank you for writing this, it was very helpful to read. I feel like I'm starting over in Signs of Abuse 101 ! I'm 52, have been married 3 times, been in countless abusive relationships and I'm not referring to romance only, it has happened with employers, family members, so called friends, it's been a common thread throughout my life. I have gotten better at weeding out the people who do not wish me well but I obviously am still giving out signals that it's ok to bully me and/or not treat me with respect. I'm just coming out of an extremely emotionally abusive relationship where my reality was in so much question, so much self doubt, I am literally ill, I have been the whole year I was with him, still am but I know I'm done - at least I'm at the end..this is fallout time. There is no "yearning" that is for sure. The so called "good things" I now realize were even an energy vacuum, and when I read your lens, it occurred to me, I WAS being "studied" during those "good and carefree" times, how CREEPY ! well it's 3 a.m. see I'm still suffering from insomnia and much interupted sleep and too much sleeping during the daytime becuz of this entire trauma. Thank You again for knowing and for sharing your knowledge, it really helped me a lot.

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      faye-johnson-92372 3 years ago

      Now I no this is no excuse but ive been in and out of mentol hospitols since the age of 13 and now im 36. As well as all of this ive been in a lot of abbusive relationships. Now everybody who I care for the most I always seem,to push,them away and its useally by violence or raciol comments. Towords others I don't wont to hurt others and there not the problom its me with the problom I don't no why im like this is it to do with my past or what is it please tell me because I would really like to no. thank you.

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      Author

      ramonabeckbritman 3 years ago

      @tonyleather: Thank you Tonyleather. Hoping this will help someone if needed.

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      tonyleather 3 years ago

      Powerful lens and undoubtedly very helpful for anyone affected!

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      Jaypooka 3 years ago

      This is all very eye opening, im in a situation where im very aware of being manipulated, verbally, and mentally abused. i would call him the interrogator...no matter what i do im either being watched or judged. my mom and sister are fighting for me and just trying to help. my husband and i have been married for 2yrs and it was rushed. we've worked totether for 5years. all was great and happy in the first years of dating, but shortly after, i lost myself. i bacame dependent on his actions, and what i was allowed to do.. thing is he never says "no", instead he puts a guilt trip on me "you must not love me, you never want to spend time with me, your own husband!" or says "oh, your probly too tired to go out" every time we had a arggument he would disregard it saying "it must be that time of month again" he not only dispises my family and friends but anyone who drinks or goes to bars,

      his opinion of those ppl is so demeaning, im too scared to defend them because i was one to drink and hangout with those people, and i feel he is directing all those negatives at me.

      without rattling on everything that's happened in the past 2 yrs, i have finally decided i needed space from him, he has been calling, texting, emailing, and even went to my councler to seek "guidance"

      his promises of being different and realizing his own flaws sounds so sweet but at the same time its

      so full of guilt that it makes me feel sick. he says how bad he feels and how amazing it will all be if i give him another chance. we have no kids, and he has said before "i shouldve knocked you up when i had the chance" joking of course...but i don't think so, he knows i wouldve been too broken down to leave if i were pregnant.

      part of me says i owe it to him to give another chance, because of the councler he saw. but i can't go though this again. should i try with him again? what if he really is wanting to change?

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      @anonymous: I hope that I will gain the same courage. Thanks, you are an inspiration!

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      I have a situation. Been married for a year and a half, my husband is very emotionaly and verbally abusive too me. is everything in the controlling and manipulaton part above.we have no kids together, but I have kids. he has no income. he is totally financially dependnent on me.i have to get away from him but im scared of him cuz he has a gun.

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      @anonymous: Tell him to start searching craigslist for a place to live when he is released. Too bad too. Jerks like this just get out to find another victim. Don't have him back. It will be the same and then what will you do?

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      What I would like to know is HOW can they hit you, push, strike, whatever, even make threats to your life and just sit back with zero emotion and blame the woman saying, "You made me do it. Yiu need help. IF you wouldn't say the things you do..." (what things?) And to boot: goes out in "public" and you would think he is the sweetest and most caring man on the planet! No drugs, etc. involved. It is like one day he is "okay", the next, some total a-hole who feels he has the justification to treat his wife and the mother of his kids like we are in some backward, 3rd world country. I'm crazy?! I need help? It is because I "speak" ? *gasp* Why am I still with him? Well, not for long. I'm working on quite a bit. Adios, jacka**. See you in court, with tons of proof of your abuse. Hope he lives a nice life, old, alone and on the street. I do not care anymore. Like he cares for me? No more. game over.

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      Hi I was controlled for 4 years I was cut off from my family he wouldn't let me do anything in my own he yelled at me all the time I got to where I didn't talk on the phone or go anywhere I was ashamed to go in a store cause if another man looked my way he would start cussing and accusing . He always said things about my 17 year old daughter saying I cared more for her then him I couldn't even have a pet he would get mad at it and abuse it.anyway I went through a lot until just recently he was arrested for identity theft now he calls me twice a day he will be getting out in a month he wants me to take him back I feel sorry for him cause he has no place to go but I don't think I can take being with him anymore . What can I do ?

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      Hi I have been married to my husband for 10 years. When I married my husband it was quick and I did not give myself time to know him. I found out later my husband has been abusing drugs and in and out of prison almost his whole life. He is so verbally and emotionally abusive to me and my kids. Today he spit in my face and now I realize I have had enough. He is mean he talks about me all the time I just received my BS in Psychology and working on my Masters as we speak and he does not even have a high school education yet he thinks he knows more then me and is smarter then me. Him and my son got in a fight today my son heard him spit in my face and came out the room. My son is a big dude so I was so scared. What should I do?

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      @anonymous: Bro!! My dad had a similar situation with my mother. She actually kidnapped my brother and I, but my dad won custody in court (by proving his good character, not attacking her poor character which made itself clear during the case anyway). We had visited her for several years, but she constantly tried to convince us of how bad/evil our dad was, saying things like he's a nazi and drug addict among other things.

      Basically, when you meet someone like this, the best choice is to get away from them. As far as possible. Take your kids too, they'll probably be better off. But remember to listen to their wishes as well. Good luck!

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      So I finally built up the strength to leave my abuser for good. He never let me do anything without him or his consent. He told all his male friends they could not speak to me. He mentally , verbally and abused me for years. I'm now sporting a black eye thanks to his anger problems. He resents all women from his past relationships and basicaly took it all out on me, and never believed that I could love a person like him. Now I see why, he was a monster. Everyone hates him but pretends to love him, and that just boost his ego to continue being a manipulative abuser. My whole life fell apart with this guy, I didn't even know who I was anymore. I now have a restraining order so if he contacts me he automatically geys 5 years in prison. Not to mention he was 20 years older then me, which kind of explains why he treated me like a child. I'm finally free, and a better person then I was before I met him. I'll never tolerate being abused. I love love way to much to compromise my faith. Sad thing is I always see the good and people, and I just hope I stick to my guns and remember he is not a good person. My motto: love yourself first, others will come next. Peace, love and blessings!

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      Not any more thank God. I have been and in some ways he can still get to me but you know what after reading this and writing my own piece. hmm to him :) thank you

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      @anonymous: I just got out of a relationship very similar to yours. The only difference is I do not have children with him. However, I only got the strength to leave when he strangled me. Then I went on auto pilot and told everyone important in my life what happened: My mom, my close friends, so that I could get a support system in place. He was such a nice guy until I lost my high paying job and he had to help out with the bills. I guess he saw it as an opportunity for power. So, now I am unemployed and have to move, but I am in a better place. I don't cry uncontrollably and I don't feel like killing myself. I'm sad sometimes, but I remind myself that I only miss who I THOUGHT he was. If you leave him, you will feel so much better. You just have to rough through the initial storm, and you will be stronger. I promise. And yes, you are being emotionally abused, and people who treat others like that CAN get physical. But try not to let it get to that!

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      I am a guy, and Im in a abusive relationship. I grew up watching my dad beat up my mother and promised myself I wouldn't do that to my partner if I ever had one. I have 2 kids with this lady Im with, but she treats me like Im nothing to her. She breaks stuff around the apartment, smashes cups, hits and pounds on me for trying to escape the abuse shes giving me, tried stabbing me, tells my children I don't love them and don't care for them, cuts up clothes that I buy and throws them out, degrades me and totally puts me down, tells me to kill myself, spits in my face, spills juice or pop on me, tells me she wishes I was dead, takes away my stuff and hides or breaks them, doesn't let me have friends, doesn't let me workout at the gym, and so much more. I still can't bring myself to leave her because I want my kids to have parents that are together. I also know that its bad for the kids to see all the violence that happens around the house, and it will affect them in some way. I know what I have to do. If ur abused, ur not alone. Have the courage to do what's right. Thanks

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      Im not sure if i am being abused verbally/mentally? All i know is that i want to cry all the time, can't stand him, he critizes everything i do or what i wear..... Called me fat and a slob once when i gained 15 lbs after my son was born.... Calls me a b , a jerk, a cu**. Im not easy because i know i don't deserve this and i don't just stay quiet but lately it has been worse as i refuse to get into a yelling argument in front of my child. Mu husband yells like a maniac, throws things, etc. he pushed me once years ago and i let him have it. I can only talk to him when he is drinking.... But lately, i just don't talk at all. I am hurt and don't feel anything. How could someone suppossedly " so smart" ( according to my friends) b in this type of relationship and how do i get the strength to get out? Ty

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      Vikki 4 years ago from US

      Great resources and advice about abusive relationships. I was in one for far too long. Thankfully, I finally realized I was worth more.

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      I don't even go out with my my ex boyfriend , he hit me and got so angry because I was hanging out with guy friends . he always ruins my happiness . he didn't know I was doing that he was asking where I was and I didn't tell him. I told my bestfriend and I told her not to tell him and she did . so he left my body sore and bruised up and ican't even act the same way with him . I feel he dissent respect me at all . he is always yanking my arm when I tell him to stop he still does it . he yells and hollers at me for little things. this isn't the first time he has beat me up like this .after this I will be leaving him for good

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      I am a 33 year ols male from SA,and read this now,every thign that is noted here Ihave experianced,I am in an abusive relationship,and when she looked me in the eyes toniht and told me that she has got no respect for me,I realized finally,I need to get out,I am sick of getting abused 24/7,nothing I do or say is right in her eyes!!!!

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      @anonymous: Talk to someone you trust about it. Get somewhere else stay . Pack up a change of clothes, get your personal papers in order in your name only like checking account etc. Get another cell phone he doesn't know about like Virgin Mobile. and then leave. Make sure you get a protection order against him. Because he is getting more controlling, He is a potential beater and killermaybe killer.

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      I have never been through this. I wany to believe he loves me but I am being brainwashed. I have been through a lot in my life so maybe I'm an easy target. I just don't know why he hates me so much. The worst now is that he withholds love. I see it. I feel it. I feel like I am going crazy. Well I am going crazy. He leaves me alone constanttly. He can do whatever with whoever but if I do I have to pay for it by him leaving for months at a time until he is ready. One yeat he wouldn't even tell me happy birthday. I asked why. And he said I will when I am ready. But he never did. Now he tries to tell me how I feel and what I am sayin when I am clearly not. It's very bad. If he doesn't love me then why keep me around. It is making me very I'll. My health has deteriorated and I don't have many people anymore. It's isolating.

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      I have never been through this. I wany to believe he loves me but I am being brainwashed. I have been through a lot in my life so maybe I'm an easy target. I just don't know why he hates me so much. The worst now is that he withholds love. I see it. I feel it. I feel like I am going crazy. Well I am going crazy. He leaves me alone constanttly. He can do whatever with whoever but if I do I have to pay for it by him leaving for months at a time until he is ready. One yeat he wouldn't even tell me happy birthday. I asked why. And he said I will when I am ready. But he never did. Now he tries to tell me how I feel and what I am sayin when I am clearly not. It's very bad. If he doesn't love me then why keep me around. It is making me very I'll. My health has deteriorated and I don't have many people anymore. It's isolating.

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      my boyfriend is always telling me that I can't answer questions honestly if his friends/family ask me. Like where I work, or anything to do with money. I'm poor, but generally happy, until he starts wanting me to go someplace with him, then I start feeling like I'm just there to be shown off, and shouldn't speak or have fun.

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      I feel more strong insight . Very scare . I am a highly abuser from my husband .

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      @anonymous: I dont see why he would do that i u didn't give him any reason to act like that. Are u sure its all his fault? Maybe u should look at the root of the problem.

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      My boyfriend tells me that i'm not allowed to talk on the phone or text after midnight, not even to my family members. i'm not allowed to text or talk on the phone while we are hanging out. If i say im going to target im only allowed to go there and no other pit stop. he has to have the passwords to all my accounts, emails, cell phone, and if i don't give it he changes them. he goes through my phone and reprimands me if i used the phone after midnight. if i told him i didn't have time to call him because im was rushing to work he checks my phone to make sure i wasn't talking to no one else at the time he wanted me to call him. I have to call and text him as soon as i get to work or school or else he becomes upset. If im talking to him on the phone im not allowed to click over for another incoming call. while he is talking to me i must look at him. i can't have my phone in my hands at all. no other male can use a term of endearment towards me like sweetie, darling, hun, babe or baby. If he hears them I have to tell them right away not to address me like that. although he has never put his hands on me he is becomes angry when i don't listen to him. he is 13 years older then me. Im scared and i don't know what to do

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      My boyfriend tells me that i'm not allowed to talk on the phone or text after midnight, not even to my family members. i'm not allowed to text or talk on the phone while we are hanging out. If i say im going to target im only allowed to go there and no other pit stop. he has to have the passwords to all my accounts, emails, cell phone, and if i don't give it he changes them. he goes through my phone and reprimands me if i used the phone after midnight. if i told him i didn't have time to call him because im was rushing to work he checks my phone to make sure i wasn't talking to no one else at the time he wanted me to call him. I have to call and text him as soon as i get to work or school or else he becomes upset. If im talking to him on the phone im not allowed to click over for another incoming call. while he is talking to me i must look at him. i can't have my phone in my hands at all. no other male can use a term of endearment towards me like sweetie, darling, hun, babe or baby. If he hears them I have to tell them right away not to address me like that. although he has never put his hands on me he is becomes angry when i don't listen to him. he is 13 years older then me. Im scared and i don't know what to do

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      my boyfriend brought a woman to the house and have sex with her, when i discover it i couldn't keep it to myself i know ask him and he confess an apologies but when i discover that the girl is pregnant i called him an ask if his responsible for the pregnancy he bit me up an ask me to pack my things out of his house. what dose that mean?

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      Im verbally and menally abused for 9 yrs my last relationship I w beaten til almost death I think verbal and mental abuse is worse because it never goes away

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      I am in this situation and he has even forced me to use drugs being on probation when i waned to get more involved in church because I got in trouble and on probation didn't want to blame him i even served time in jail because he wanted to get the house

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      my husband was friends with a couple before we got married. they were on great terms with each other and my husband was always ready for parties, movies,restaurants, etc with them not to mention helping them pay off credit card bills, giving them loans, etc. after i moved in, this couple drifted away, (although i met them no more than four times, as guests elsewhere), only to pop up a few times taunting my husband about how foolish it was to make commitments about not getting drunk, to one's wife. i never reacted to these things, even though i felt hurt. in between my husband helped them out with various things though i never came to know of them as they were all co-ordinated apparently by email. after i moved to a neighbouring city due to my job, these people came back and their parties resumed right away, and coincidentally, my husband's visits reduced in frequency. even when i visited, he was mostly busy working so there was no socializing. somehow, most of his social life still revolves around them and i am meticulously excluded from it.

      i simply cannot understand what is going on.if i ask my husband why things are this way, he says it's because i am selfish and evil. i am essentially an introvert, though not an ungracious hostess and not a party-pooper too. also, the only things i requested my husband to avoid were binge-drinking and drunk driving. does that make me too controlling ? how can i find out what the problem is ?

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      @anonymous: Why can't you live with your mom? And get a protection order against him so he can't come near you or your daughter? Legal aid is free. Books are helpful. Demostic violence homes will help you get a protection order. Good luck with the outcome. Hope you have the courage to leave, at least for your daughter. I hate abusive people. I have been divorced for five years and still have emotional scars.

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      @anonymous: How I got away from my abuser is I went to a demostic violence home. Just call the police they will be more than happy to tell you how to get in contact with them and will be more than happy to take you to the demostic violenc e home if you can't get there. You can apply online FAFSA to qualify for a student college loan, grants once you leave him you will only have to include your own income. I go to a college that is $80 a credit the minium credit is 6. I just do that because I can't maintain my grades. You get about $4000 a semester to live on and don't have to pay the loan back til you are done going to college or graduate. In the mean time while you waiting for the long process of the college lend you can go to college online too a lot of community colleges offer online course and get the money. Oh yeah, the system will pay for daycare of your choice. Just go down to the welfare office whatever it is called in your state in MI it is called Human Services, in Ohio it is called Family Jobs and Services. Apply for some sort of job finding program, they will not tell you this or explain this to you but if you go threw a job program your daycare will be paid for this is how you get a babysitter threw the system while searching for work. The nice part about the demostic violence home it is a free place to stay, he can not find you and if he does you will be protected. Also, they will help you get a protection order. When you are there at the demostic violence home apply for metropolitan housing (they pay for your housing anywhere they approve you can live in the US and you pay 30% of your income). Even if the car is in his name you can drive it because it is marrage property. Oh yeah contact legal aid for free lawyer. 211 is a useful resorce for free food, clothing, shelter andything. That's how I did it. I wasn't able to leave him completely til I got student loans, but you can do it! Anything is worth trying. Oh yeah the threats you can press charges because that is the same of him saying he is going to shoot you. You need a protection order, if he goes close to you the police can put him in jail, if his friends harrass you he will go to jail, get a proetction order against the friend he has with aids. He will kill you sooner or latter anyway, and do it for your children. Mine said he would kill my dad. I personally hate my dad big whoopie do, and my dad is still living. My dad is an abuser. But that is a different story. If you didn't get anything else call 911 and say you want to go to a demostic violence home, even when he gets crazy they will be more than happy to take you.

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      i am very depressed my hubby always tel me to go out alone and don't talk to me if at all he talks he criticises me don't know what to do? i feel so insecure at least if i get a job for some earning i will go away from home

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      I don't know where to go or what to do, I do fight back now but I hate myself for it! I am being put down all the time, today he wiped his butt in the bathroom with his bare hand and tried to hit me with!! Than he said that he would tell the police I did it myself! I can't take this anymore, he has control of everything all the money EVERYTHING, I get child support from my ex and he spends it the day it comes in, I cut up his credit cards so he can't use it and he goes and gets another one, the scars and the sleepless nights are getting to me and I don't know what to do, He will come after me and my children if I leave, he threatened to have his family friend cut me and cut herself to give me the aids that she carries, I was threatened that he was going to kill me after our child was born by getting beat to death by his friends where do I go what do I do???

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      I tried to go to the police after 2 years they are not helping me and said I should of did this when it happened so now he is getting away with it of course. I wanted him in jail after he hit me but was to scared to tell anyone.

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      My wife belittles me and my daughter, shouts and moans every day , she seems to be nicer with my son.

      she use to beat me more and in one occasion she called the police and got me arrest showing them some bruise whitch is a mystery,

      the last time she slaped me was in august while drving in a french motorway at about 65 mph in front of the kids offcourse wtf.

      I'm a working father and i'm never good enough, its alawys my fault and apparently i'm not a father at all i;m a littlel shit .

      All my friends have disapeared cos they were not good enough, and now i have met a new friend (girl) so i'm protecting our friendship, and i'm accused of cheating.

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      i am in a relationship but my relationship is very mess up right now when ever i try talking to my spouse he always wants to talk alone whenever i voice my opinion he gets vex and always wants to last me whenever i tell him that i want to leave he always jumps up and say going way you not going no way yuh will say here and i will always beat me for my mouth so i must not say nothing

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      philipcott 4 years ago

      Very nice

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      i have been having problems whit my bestfriend/drinking buddy. My friend has had not so good luck with jobs so i have taken the tabs almost ever time we got drunk. Last couple times we drank we ended up fighting or the out come was him telling me how much he hates me. I can't tell who the abuser is but i know im not good for him. I should leave

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      I didn't believe in emotional abuse but after been married for 17 yrs. I think I come to the end of my rope. My Mom was in an physically abusive relationship and I swore that I would never allow that to happen to me and it hasn't. But I have been on this merry go round; one moment all is good and the next he is having a freak out to the extreme yelling and harsh words ect. I thought I could handle it but now, I feel like Im cut off from friends and he gets very upset when I visit my mom or even mention her name, my step-dad passed so my mom is alone really and I feel I need to be there for her more. Last Thanksgiving we had a huge drama and he was showing his ass and my mom said no more and cut him off completely; no communication whatsoever. That has been real hard, Im in the middle she wants me to leave him and survived thus far but now i see a pattern starting with my 13 yr old daughter and my mommy instincts are starting to scream out loud. I know I need to do something but Im weak and feel like Im in quicksand sinking deeper... just last night we went out to bar came home and he was saying I F*#% hate you and stupid over and over till he passed out and this morning like it never happened; crazy Im going crazy

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      @anonymous: Good on you, get out while you can :)

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      Good on you Lydia, you don't deserve that.. Get out while you can :)

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      I have been in an abusive relationship for over 2 years. He hurt me when I was pregnant with his child. He is a drunk and pounded on me one last time- I finally fought back last Monday. He called the cops on me bk I wouldn't give him his car keys while he was wasted. His mother told me I should have just laid back and took the beating. She has obviously taken a few herself. I refuse to let him continue abusing me. It is going to be difficult- I have to follow through this time. Or next time he will likely kill me.

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      Hi, Iâm 34 male, I was dating a girl who was 29 for 6 months, after the first 3 months she started to show signs of insecurities and trust issues whereby she would question people calling, txting and FB adding me. . I didnât have anything to hide and tried to reassure her every time, I also told her how beautiful she was every day. I was apparent that she had been cheated on in the past and also we lightly spoke of a past relationship she had been in that was abusive, but she didnât want to speak in detail so I didnât push the situation. I am a rock n roll dancer and one night I went out to a club and danced with a number of people, girls, guys (Iâm a straight guy but the type to dance with anyone, I donât care) anyway her friend was in the club and recorded me dancing with a girl.. The next day she told my GF and I was confronted by this, accusing me of cheating and kissing girls.. Again I told her this did not happen.. She took my side and said shed give me another chance⦠A few weeks alter we both went out to a club, there were a few jealousy comments made during the night but we managed to brush them over. When we returned home we argued, I went to the toilet, whilst sitting on the loo she came into the bathroom, shouting to get out her house, I calmly agreed as I though fine I will go back out to meet my friends, she then attacked me, punching me in the face about 3 times I leaned back and shouted at her to stop, she then attacked me again punching me twice in the face.. At that point I pushed her with force away from me., she went down stairs and called the police, I was arrested and bailed to appear in court of which I pleaded not guilty, so the actual case is not in 8 months.. this has really upset me and part of my bail conditions is not to contact her, so what do I do, I contact her asking her to stop all this and we can sort things out, she reported me and I was arrested again. Fortunately I have no previous convictions and am of good character so was ailed again.. Im just at a bit of a loss as she claims to have loved and sure we both could have done more to prevent this but would she be going through with this If she really did care for me at all and what drives a woman to attack you? Any comments are welcomed. Thanks

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      @anonymous: I was with my soon to be ex husband for 19 years and the first couple of years were ok until we began having children and he changed into the man your husband is, although, he must have been always like that. I just overlooked it because I was in denial or he was a great actor.

      Over the years, he became dismissive, neglectful, ignoring, and emotionally detached to the point that like you have said, empathy and compassion were foreign to him. He treated his children terribly, ignoring them or making them feel like they were just an unneeded distraction from his tv or sleep. His attention to me only focused on whether I would keep his belly full or satisfy his sexual needs, including having to include others in our bed to satisfy his voyeristic kink which deleted me as a living, feeling human being with value and put me in the position to be raped by him and two other men that I repeatedly said no to but was ignored..

      I can truly relate to your post and hope you find the strength to get out and rebuild your life; without someone that has, over time, erased your value, made you compromise, and excuse his bad behavior... the sex is a reward for his actions...Would you reward your child with icecream if they acted badly or said something hurtful? Nope...

      I could make this a very long reply, since it went on for years and I made excuses for him that invalidated anything I felt or thought a marriage should be since I didn't want to be alone with three children, no money, and no job.

      I quit my job to be an at home mom to our children and focus on helping our oldest two diagnosed with autism. He would upset me when I would cry because I worked since I was 13(the loss of my independence killed my soul!) and the idea of being dependant on anyone makes me sick to my stomach! According to him, we both decided that I should stay home since I was their mother and it was my job to help them grow and learn because no one could do it better than me. Therefore, he had to work and make that an excuse not to interact with them at all...He would get angry if they tried to get attention when he was zoned in to the tv or doing something and he would verbally attack them to the point they both will not have anything to do with him for fear of being hurt. Our son still makes an effort but is crushed every time his father makes him feel insignificant...It still upsets me since we both created them and he acts like they are irritating distractions. Our youngest daughter actually had to grow thick skin in order to be close to him and has to be annoying in order to get his attention. Pretty sad since it has become a personality trait I never wanted her to have at all. She is clingy and dependant which makes me worry when she gets older because I don't want her to compromise herself for a man that treats her bad or like an option. I feel bad because I have shown my daughters that a woman must settle for being treated the way I was in order to be loved and that is wrong. I have allowed my son to think he can be disrespectful to the feelings of women and assume his attitude is correct which it is not...The one thing that gives me hope is that he has a heart and will feel awful if he hurts someone he cares about. I feel that I have taught them all to place value on those he cares about and that they should be treated the way he would want to be treated.

      I am trying to teach my daughters that they don't ever need to seek validation or self worth through anyone else, that it has to come from within and the right person will come along and love them for the person they are, faults and all...

      Don't allow this to go on as long as I did...I regret wasting years and allowing myself to feel that I wasn't worth anything better since I said the vows and promised him to spend our lives together. I will never get those years back but I have the future to look forward to and try not to look back or allow him to make me feel guilty for moving forward w/o him. Good luck to you and all of you trying to move on and make sense of it all. You can find the strength and courage!! I did and the longer I am away from him the stronger I am getting!

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      You know I am married, for two years now together five. There were warning signs that I should have paid attention to but I dismissed them hoping he would mature into a more reasonable person when it came to trivial crap, but he didn't. The truth of the matter is, if they don't respect you from the get ...get! Don't stay don't hope don't waste your time and time is precious...My husband does the I love you one day then something dumb will happen I'll say the wrong thing or have an opinion different from his and he'll get mad and fuming and it will turn into days of silent treatment berating talking down and insulting me ....However, when I say there are different kinds of abusers it is because mine is quite unique he's the manipulator .....he appears to be a pretty sound guy good job, fun, loves to laugh and make jokes a bit abrasive to the men extra nice to the women...it is sickening fake....or maybe it's not maybe what is fake is who he is with me...one minute I love you come here love hug love hugs then if I turn the corner and want him to do something or ask something of him and he doesn't want to do it then all hell brakes loose. If I have an opinion that differs movies or otherwise I am a negative hateful person. HOwever, he does not act jealous and tell me what to wear quite the opposite, he wants me to put myself out there sometimes like objectifying me...I am an object to him, sexually, emotionally and so on.....it is Crazy making to no end. I know this is not going to change so I have to work on me and plan B....if it were going to change he would be apologetic but I have the one that thinks nothing warrants an apology.....and the double standards my gosh this is his motto me me me ...I can't even think anymore so I try to keep the peace so I can focus on a plan ....and the main reason I don't want to stay because I think he is cruel and did I say cruel....and he lacks a necessary core to be a fruitful human being empathy ..if you don't understand other people how can you honestly contribute to society at all. He says the most horrible things so many I lost count. I used to believe them but I know he's the insecure one and he will be the lost one after I'm found.....I wish I could say we will be together but if he doesn't find some God in his life and reconcile his demons we are done and he can pass the torch to someone else....

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      @anonymous: you need to have a plan and get the hell out before he kills your ass

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      @anonymous: women do it too. But the majority of abusers are men and this article has a lot of truth,however there are all kinds of abusers..

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      @anonymous: You are very brave to reach out for help. I assume you go to school. Get a meeting with your principal and tell her/himyour story or if you have a social worker at your school tell them or tell a trusted adult at a church. Take care and good luck.

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      When I married my husband I was already pregnant and so I didn't have a job. He had a really good job though so I was able to stay home and take care of our son when it was born. When we had our second child we moved to a bigger house, but then strange things started to happen. Things would fly off the walls and doors would slam at night. Our oldest son talked about seeing figures and hearing voices. We consulted a medium and they said the house was haunted. After living there about a year more with only minor occurrences we moved out. That was when the bad luck started to happen. Everything started to fail, with my husband's job, our money and our luck in general. I went back to the same medium and they told me that a spirit had followed me and placed a curse upon me for disturbing it and not being respectful in the previous house. He tried to remove it but was unable. The misfortune kept going on and getting more severe as I tried to search out someone to break the curse. But when I found Dr OMO spell he finally did it. Things started turning around almost immediately after he cast the spell and have been great from there! This was really a miracle for us, thank you Dr OMO spell from the bottom of my heart! Contact: alteroffiretemple@gmail.com

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      @anonymous: He definitely has some sort of paranoid disorder. I was in a similar situation. Luckily, yes luckily things got out of control at some point & he was hospitalized. Diagnosis was paranoid psychosis, due to abuse of marijuana. Today, he is a better person & we are working on our marriage.

      Is your husband using/abusing any drugs? Be careful. He may turn nasty if he keeps believing his delusions. Best wishes & do stay safe.

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      Not only men are capable of abuse. I'm kind of irritated how this article uses "he/him" instead of both genders. My mother is the most controlling person I know. She plays "mind games" and says other people are doing that to her. I will say something, and then she will say I didn't say that. Or vise versa, I won't say something and she will insist that I did. She's been married 5 times, I've moved a lot because of her relationships. Her current husband is whipped beyond belief, and his three children are under her control as well. My life has been hell because of her, yet she can be in a good mood and I feel bad for hating her. She lies, makes things up, but I think she really believes what she makes up. In the past few years I have been starting to believe she has some sort of mental disorder but I just don't know. If I bring it up, I get my head chewed off. She can never be wrong. I can't wait to leave this place.

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      Yea my brothers and sisters is getting abused and the children services isn't do anything about it .what should I do?

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      I am in a relationship,or situation however you want to define it, This morning I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth,in comes HIM, he started fussing because my son who is 21 and mental challenged picked up some dog feces off the floor, he went into hysterics. Then he started ranting and raging about he thinks my son is "causing his daughters by someone else of which live with us, to be scared of him. Upon further investigation and interagation of the girls they don't feel scared of my son at all. But during the conversation we were fighting, he pushed me then I pushed in the face, and then he punched me in my face.

      Then 10 min later APOLOGIZES FOR HITTING ME. I said as I was walking a way that I hated him 3X. He then tells me that the statement I just said hurted his feelings. REALLY. As I read this story I am just as confused, as I was while it was happening. Our arguments are becoming more hurtfull, but the sad thing is this I am trying to become a Christian, I feel like a hipacrit(forgive the spelling) and I was hoping he would begin a new beginning also. I will continue my walk in faith and ask for forgiveness. But WOW.

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      @anonymous: Oh dearie, this sounds like my relationship.I feel soooo sorry for you.I know what you are going through, so wish I had advice, but seem like I have the same problems

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      I don't know what to make of it anymore.We have been in marriage for 19 yrs.When he can't get his way and have sex every 2nd day, he try to puinish me by with hlding sex all together.He has been in many relationships over the yrs , but comes back to me all the time.Once I had a work and money, now I have nothing and am dependent on him, because he bankrupt me completely.No one even look at my cv, as I am 60yrs old. I feel washed out and hung out to dry.

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      will anyone read this and understand?? im in a relationship (married fr 2 years together for 10) My husband constanly goes on at me that im unfaithful,, he has even recorded me when he goes out,, he has replayed it back and convinced himself that during the recording (which i find a huge violation of my due respect) that i was indeed with shagging another a man,, i actually was changing our daughters bottom during the time he was recording me (she was then 9 mths)... he has always been suspicious of everything i do to the point if people ask me to go out anymore i have to find an excuse,, a simple trip to sainsburys could mean ive been eyeing up someone in there or doing something with them,,, i can't swear enough i haven't,, ive never done anything,, everything i do is checked on,, the laptop my phonecalls everything,, i make a night romantic and he turns it into something else,, why doesn't he just love me?? he told me tonight he would take my daughter to her routine app tomoro, then fastly tells me that i could then meet my friends,,, not in a nice kind of way,, like i will give you a break from it all and spend time with the child,, more of a way in sarcasm that i would be free to do what i like to do,,, but she is why my prority over anything else..... it goes on and on,,, too much to say.. im alone i can't talk to anyone..... this isn't ok is it,, and here ive only said some of it,,desperately needing support x x x x

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      @anonymous: Thank you for your encouragement. 4 months ago my husband beat me and left me to go back to his ex wife whom I have since found out he was having an affair with the whole time we were together. Im not sure why he even left her to begin with if he was going to just go back, I was told im paranoid and crazy and that "my insecurities are not his issue" even though he caused them I am still seething with grief but know that if we stayed together I would be hurt more or worse, killed. It appeared as if he punished me for everything she ever did wrong to him once he got his anger with her out of his system I was useless to him and he went back. I saw all of the warning signs but wanted so despirately to make with work and make it better. On the day of our divorce I was able to look him in the face and walk away he turned and couldn't even look me in the eye such a coward.

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      My phone rang from my boyfriends number last night and a girl answered when I said hello. Then she said "who is this? ...Ramiro?" and hang up. I let a moment pass by to think what could have happened. I double checked the number and the call was from his phone. Then I texted him "what was that" and he replied "I just called you and a guy named Curtis answered your phone" ...I can't stop thinking about this; either way hurts. If he was capable of a joke like that, is so painful, and if in fact a girl was with him and she used his cell to do it, he had to know and he let her, which is so painful. Am I wrong? could the phones somewhat messed up? please help.

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      this year i was 60 yrs of age and still suffering in my 2nd marriage after thinking i was cured of attracting the wrong ones... and after spending 10 tens on my own with the kids thought i was ready to try again.,,. how wrong on both counts. ... in 1992 after struggling in a relationship with an alcoholic and after losing two babies to abuse and after being raped by him we all left our home ..we travelled 200 miles away to a house i had only seen photos of. what a nightmare awaited us .with 3 kids in tow and 5mths pregant fro mthe rape we made home out the hovel we had bagged for safety ...

      After giving birth ,i paid the eldest son to mind the kids ,get them ready for school for me ,and i worked two jobs . we ended up in a good area from my hard work. we had a fab time .my eldest daughter now of 23 recently told me " she had had the best childrenhood anyone could wish for " ..you will never know how good that felt to hear that. it proved to me i had hid the bad as much as i could from the kids.. but .. now after after taking "walking on eggshells for ten yrs " ive had enough. If im ill the housework can wait till im better. if im ill he feeds himself i get whatever the kids make for me if they come visit.. he treats me well in from t people he is loved by everyone .. but he will not have a conversation with me about anything without shouting ,getting angry if he doesn't like what he hears .if i say im tired, im lonely he says have a rest for today or go out.. that's it .. im at home 24/7 with ill health caused by stress .. away from him im fine .but no imcome means no home .no job because ive not worked in years and no way to get there . we live in a village .i do not drive anymore .. he has control of it all . if i want something done in the house i wait til lhe is good anf ready .it can take months years even ..so how do i get out of this one. my confidence is low ,self esteem is nil... thank god i have my youngest at home .he keeps me going .he knows what im going through .he says leave . but i can't .im too scared to start again . .

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      @anonymous: .... don't stay for the sake of your son... it will destroy him more than you think if you stay. I took a stand as a mother to a then 5 and a half month old baby girl... she is now 8 months, when I walked out on my husband 3 months ago.. I didn't know how it was effecting her until I left... Don't give your son false hope of a marriage give him something that is real...

      If you haven't left yet... read my story... "Broken but almost Healed"...

      You are confused and in denial... it's normal... opt for a trial separation until you can sort yourself out emotionaly... That gives yourself time to become strong again. If you read my story... Know it's true... You can get through this and if you are still feeling down... I pray my message gives you courage to stand up and be strong....

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      @anonymous: He is the manipulator... and he is the abusive one not you. I bet you he uses what has happened to you against you... that is what mine did to me... They feel superior and in control. They are only worried about themselves.... something I learnt recently and one of the signs of a manipulator is the word "Me, myself and I".....

      i don't know how long you have been married, but I really want to encourage you to stand strong... he will destroy you further... Don't let him, only you can control your life. I know it HURTS, I have been there... I'm still healing but there is Hope... You have gone through so much in your life you don't deserve this either...Sorry to say it and it's true ... He has no respect for you.... YOU are worthy of respect, you worthy to have true love... He is a bully... But bless him, pray for him, pray for inner healing for yourself, pray for forgiveness.... There are so many online prayers you can find... in times like these, God becomes your best friend and in times like these a best friend is all you need to help you get through this... I truly hope that you find inner peace and the strength to help you through this.... My God light the way for you and protect you..

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      Nearly 3 months ago I took the courage to walk out of a 3 year marriage with my then 5 and a half month old baby. I endured emotional abuse from my husband. Sexualy and Mentaly. Everything was a dead secret with him. When I see the messages on his phone with other woman, he says it's all in my head, and why am I snooping. When I contact these woman, I am being paranoid to the extent degree. Sad thing is, it's in black and white and it has been happening from almost day 1 of our marriage. When I confront him, he says I am not reading it right. He has emotional affairs with these woman but wants my body when it suits him. He treats me like I am worth nothing, then in the next breath he saying how wonderful I am.... He questions my ability with our daughter then tells me what a great job i'm doing with her... talk about confusing... after a fight he would say oh let's brush it under the carpet and start over... he would tell me to talk to him about my problems and when I did he would tell me I was always over exagerating. I could never have an opinion even though he did ask for it... he controlled me... he controlled the discisions made in the house, he controlled what was for supper... when he did ask I gave him my opinion but he says his was better... He was always right and he even admits to it.... IT was never about me, it was always about him, his wants, his needs..., he would never do anything for me, if he did I had to repay him by satisfying him in some way sexually............. I was broken and torn when I found the courrage to leave. I couldn't believe it was happening to me... I tried looking for the good points but only the bad came up... I went for inner healing and still going...I have learnt a lot since then and I am now learning how to avoid that manipulation... By prayer, good support structure and love from my family I am looking up... I want to scream and slap him to wake up at times as I still have to see him so he can see our daughter... but there is no better way than to stare your attacker in the face, smile and walk away... even better when you kill them with kindness and they don't know what to do with it... You have to start being the strong one... don't look behind and fret, look behind and say to yourself.. Wow I came I sored and I conquored... I'm a survivor... I will speak forgiveness everyday until I know I am totally set free..... I once thought I was alone but I see I wasn't, but neither are any of you. Sometimes I wish he did hit me because bruises heal quicker, but I was a victim to Emotional Abuse instead... and yip, I was broken and torn apart from who I truly was and I needed to find ME again... And I have... You are worthy of respect, you are worthy of love... These are now testing times but I am sure with the right support we will all get through it and heal.... not forgetting but forgiving... Today is the dawn of a new beginning for all... Take a stand for who you are and walk with your head held high... You ARE Worthy...

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      Nearly 3 months ago I took the courage to walk out of a 3 year marriage with my then 5 and a half month old baby. I endured emotional abuse from my husband. Sexualy and Mentaly. Everything was a dead secret with him. When I see the messages on his phone with other woman, he says it's all in my head, and why am I snooping. When I contact these woman, I am being paranoid to the extent degree. Sad thing is, it's in black and white and it has been happening from almost day 1 of our marriage. When I confront him, he says I am not reading it right. He has emotional affairs with these woman but wants my body when it suits him. He treats me like I am worth nothing, then in the next breath he saying how wonderful I am.... He questions my ability with our daughter then tells me what a great job i'm doing with her... talk about confusing... after a fight he would say oh let's brush it under the carpet and start over... he would tell me to talk to him about my problems and when I did he would tell me I was always over exagerating. I could never have an opinion even though he did ask for it... he controlled me... he controlled the discisions made in the house, he controlled what was for supper... when he did ask I gave him my opinion but he says his was better... He was always right and he even admits to it.... IT was never about me, it was always about him, his wants, his needs..., he would never do anything for me, if he did I had to repay him by satisfying him in some way sexually............. I was broken and torn when I found the courrage to leave. I couldn't believe it was happening to me... I tried looking for the good points but only the bad came up... I went for inner healing and still going...I have learnt a lot since then and I am now learning how to avoid that manipulation... By prayer, good support structure and love from my family I am looking up... I want to scream and slap him to wake up at times as I still have to see him so he can see our daughter... but there is no better way than to stare your attacker in the face, smile and walk away... even better when you kill them with kindness and they don't know what to do with it... You have to start being the strong one... don't look behind and fret, look behind and say to yourself.. Wow I came I sored and I conquored... I'm a survivor... I will speak forgiveness everyday until I know I am totally set free..... I once thought I was alone but I see I wasn't, but neither are any of you. Sometimes I wish he did hit me because bruises heal quicker, but I was a victim to Emotional Abuse instead... and yip, I was broken and torn apart from who I truly was and I needed to find ME again... And I have... You are worthy of respect, you are worthy of love... These are now testing times but I am sure with the right support we will all get through it and heal.... not forgetting but forgiving... Today is the dawn of a new beginning for all... Take a stand for who you are and walk with your head held high... You ARE Worthy...

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      my husband wont talk to me and gets angry when i talk to him.he ignores me after we'v had a row and when i want to talk about it to reslove it ,it makes him angry,his attitude changes,he looks at me like dirt and he swears at me and tells me to leave him alone.i tried to talk to him this evening but because it was too long for him he started to fall asleep.....after i walked out the room we ended up in a row and he told me i bore him to tears.our marriage has been in crisis for a long time and he said he would do whatever it takes but when it comes to it he can't even bring himself to make it look like he cares!after a row last week,he ignored my texts and even a letter explaining how his ignoring me was torturing me and making me depressed.he said he acknowled it and he will try his best but is his best just not good enough?is it time to end our marriage?he has put me through so much over the years with addiction to cannibis and lies,dissapppearing and verbally abusing me,is it time to admit defeat and say we'v grown apart?

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      My husband tells me that I am the abusive partner but all arguments are initiated by him. I have told him everything that is wrong with me (molested childhood, physically abused childhood, trust issues, et.), open and honest. But sometimes, it does not matter, he wants what he wants and you better give it up, or shut upa dn do what you are told, no back talk (this one I have already broken and argue back to stand my ground), which ultimately leaves me silent for the next few days just to avoid anything louder or bigger than it started out.

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      @anonymous: Leave him now there is NOTHING you can do you go and get help and you will get through this!

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      I lost my 10 years relationship during April. My ex left me with so many pains and since then i have been heart broken and shattered. I have contact 15 spell casters and 10 of them has rip me off my money without any result. I have Emailed so many sites online looking for a good spell caster till i was directed by a 16 years old girl to alteroffiretemple@gmail.com At first i never believed him because he was requesting for some amount of money to buy items, it took him three weeks to convince me and something occur to mind and i said let me give him a trial.

      I was very shocked when Ruben called four days after i sent Dr OMO the items money. He apologies for all he has done wrong and i am very happy that we are together today because he proposed to me last night. I will advise you contact Email alteroffiretemple@gmail.com because he has done wonders in my life and i believe he can help you out in any problem

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      It's crazy how true this was! I have to walk away thank u. U helped me more then u know

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      It's crazy how true this was! I have to walk away thank u. U helped me more then u know

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      What do you do when your husband threatens to harm himself if you leave him? I don't think I could live with myself. I truly believe his stubborn enough. I can't get him to see a counselor. He is physically and emotionally abusive to me and my tto young boys. I do love him we have been married for 16 years, but he has always had a drinking and anger issues. He came from an alcoholic family where is mother was abused. I don't know what to do?

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      my dad calls us bad words whenever he has to repeat himself many times, and I get really sad when he does this

    • profile image

      christain-hamsom-jack 5 years ago

      Hello,Dr.Magbu i want to thank you for the returning spell you did for me my wife is back to me after using you returning love spell and she said there is no need for the divorce again thank you so much,i we never forget this great happiness you brought to my life. if you are in need of this powerful spell caster you can reach him through this Email address: reunitingexspell@gmail.com i must tell this to the world you took a sad man like me and make me happy.

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      What can I do when my husband gets mad and get so close to my face?

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      I'm totally confused about what to do he's depressed doesn't work moans all the time and is a complete drip to be around is very self absorbed and I just had enough today, I mirrored everything he said to me the way he said the way he made me feel and he flipped. I really seem to see red when all I hear is criticism put downs and lack of communication. So he comes in and kicks the shit out of the safety gate I had stuck up to stop our nearly one year old son getting into the kitchen, I pick my son up put him in his cot close the door grab the safety gate and smack him with it. Now I know two wrongs don't make it right but I'm sick of the tantrums over stuff all and it feels damn good. You like this shit and he grabs me by my throat so I wiggle free go for his nuts which he dodges and grab him and smash him into our newly fixed pantry. He's realised I've lost it and takes off out the door by now I'm livid and thinking *&%#$@ you asshole. I call him a few nasty words he points out that Im also a *&%$#@ too which I throw the broom at him soft bit hits him sqaur between the shoulder blades he picks it up and charges towards me so I charge towards him anyway end up getting thrown into the ground again as he tries to get away. What do I do follow him cos I aint finished with his ass yet he gets thrown into the shed next thing you know Im getting thrown into a bucket and he grabs me by my throat and punches me in the head. Now through all this violent he's realising I just don't stop. I realise I don't want to stop, all the shit I've put up with the bitching the moaning the fake STI the non support the total shitting on my confidence and I think what do I want. I want him to feel what he's made me feel and ANGER pure unadultered ANGER towards him. Anyway shits getting stuffed up and I aint going to back down, he isn't so not sure wha to do I love him but I also want to show him how it feels to be treated like shit.

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      i understand what your all going through and it truly breaks my heart i am a 29 an i myself suffered from all 3 kinds of abuse for 6 years out of the 13 years myself an my husband were together i have 3 children 8,5 and 4 at the time of the abuse i had no idea this was impacting on them until i was beatin so badly i was takin to hospital and my husband was arrested he was charged with a.b.h an treats to kill and my children were added to the at risk i almost lost my children because of this man i was sure i loved but i was givin the help i needed to make me see that this was not normal its not something anyone should have to live with an there is help out there please don't suffer in silence speak up an don't let ur abuser keep u down u never no maybe next time u wont get up think of your children there the innocents in this no child should watch either one of there parents be subjected to any kind of abuse were all the same were all human beings we have feelings good luck i send each an everyone of u my love an stength to make the first step to getting your lives back xx

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      @anonymous: Get out of there, you're kidding yourself if you think he will change, I ran away 10 years ago from that life. Now married with 2 kids and an adorable husband who loves and respects me. Your child is not benefiting from this environment. You will find your worth again it's worth the risk now.

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      Author

      ramonabeckbritman 5 years ago

      @anonymous: Think about your Little boy. He is seeing all of the things that are happening to you. What about the day when he decides to get at you through your son?

      Just sayin!!!!! I wish you luck.

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      getting abused is not only being hit,for me i 'm abused emotionally and verbally and it's worst than that.every time we talk about any thing he shouts and the neighbours hear him,when i'm out they look down at me.whenever he'sl ate' i try 2 ask him he makes a drama and he starts shouting.he speaks about me to his friends and his family.he doesn't respect me and he sleeps in an other room.he doesn't want me to finish study or work.the worst thing is that i have a son and i want to leave but i can't afford him he's 2 years andi t's 3 years of a damned marriage

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      @anonymous: I feel about the same...i hate waking up because I know no day is a good day and then I get called lazy and dirty but he doesn't do ANYTHING. Some days I feel like his slave....do this do that...regardless how busy I am he still can't do it for himself. And abuse...where to start there...kicking, hitting, punching, pulling out chunks of hair, ripping off my clothing to rags, choking me...and that's JUST the physical. I tried going back home a few times but for some reason I always come back and now my family wont talk to me. I don't know if I stay because I know if I leave then eventually he eill have the boys alone and they wont have me to stand up for them or because in reality I know I don't have anyone. I am constantly stressed and unhappy. I went from a size 7 to a size zero and can't gain weight to save my life...i just wish I was a stronger person and could walk away from this

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      He done all of this.. I really feel devastated and broken hearted though he's doing all this I still love him but in my mind i want to stop all this and leave him but we had a little boy to think about..I don't know what to do? I can't take it anymore ...I really feel down and sorry for my self

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      Why is this full of he and him. Women are capable of abuse as well and can be just as hurtful I'm relationships. I'm glad that this site is trying to help abuse victims bit don't limit your help to women or stereotype abusers as men.

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      i was in this kind of relationship, who always told me i love you i want to marry you, but he always told me that he will vanish one day for no reason and i can live my life. now he leeave me after one fight for all his ex-girlfriend, he never salp me or other things but tourcher me emotionally. i was always alone at home , i was his studet, now he thinks he is not deserve my love and want to cheat on me and it is better that i leave the place but he wants to support me financially and in my study, he old me he wants to meet another one with mutual love and respect without any issues. i was sad for a long time in spite of all things i love him but after i read this text i realized that he is an abuser and he always told me that i am his slave at kitchen and in bed, i think i am lucky that he run a way.

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      i was in this kind of relationship, who always told me i love you i want to marry you, but he always told me that he will vanish one day for no reason and i can live my life. now he leeave me after one fight for all his ex-girlfriend, he never salp me or other things but tourcher me emotionally. i was always alone at home , i was his studet, now he thinks he is not deserve my love and want to cheat on me and it is better that i leave the place but he wants to support me financially and in my study, he old me he wants to meet another one with mutual love and respect without any issues. i was sad for a long time in spite of all things i love him but after i read this text i realized that he is an abuser and he always told me that i am his slave at kitchen and in bed, i think i am lucky that he run a way.

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      ramonabeckbritman 5 years ago

      @anonymous: If you really want to leave you can. It just takes a phone call to the abuse help line. They will help you.