- Gender and Relationships
Am I Really in Love? Take the Quiz!
Love - Like an Itching in My Heart
The Diversities of Love
Love is diverse in that there are many forms of it. Maternal love, compassionate, companionate, romantic, passionate, affectionate and unconditional are several. For the purpose of this article I am focusing on romantic love.
Falling in love is being broken down to a science.
The most recent research indicates that falling in love might just be a little more complicated and sophisticated than we know. Previous thought was that love was constructed like angular triangles, each leg depending on the others. Noted psychologist Robert Sternberg argued that love was built through components of intimacy, commitment and passion.
Zick Rubin tried to explain love in terms of psychometrics based on attachment, caring and intimacy.
In a more recent study conducted at Syracuse University the results indicated that falling in love takes less than a second. In fact, they nailed it down to 1/5 of a second. Unseen forces that react without our thought processes occur in radical speeds, affecting twelve known areas of the brain without our full consent or knowledge.
- People tend to fall in love with faces that are similar to their own features.
- People tend to fall in love with people who have similar backgrounds.
- The biggest love predictor is proximity.
- The best places to fall in love and flirt are coffee shops, schools, colleges and malls.
- Men are more prone to like women that have some vulnerability.
Love has been one of the biggest unsolved mysteries to date. Why we experience it, where it comes from and how long it lasts are just a few questions no one can seem to answer. Love is unpredictable and highly dependent upon future action and reactions that occur over time.
If it's possible to fall in love in a fraction of a second then is it possible to fall out of love so quickly?
Some theorists will argue that love is based on pheromones and biological functions that occur due to the olfactory system. It involves increases and decreases in levels of serotonin, oxytocin, vasopressin and dopamine.
Research has indicated lower levels of serotonin in people who report being new lovers. This is also something that is seen in people with O.C.D. This may explain why couples who are in love have obsessive thoughts about each other.
Chemistry of Love
Falling in love is a lot like playing pin ball. You pull back the spring loaded plunger and launch the ball. Forces beyond your control work in rapid fire succession lighting up brain centers and circuit boards, setting off bells and whistles in a second split 5 ways.
The newest theories are based on chemistry and hormones, pheromones and other intangibles. It depends upon a lot of things happening at the right time and having the right person to receive the signals in the same space where you live in and out of your head. Misfires and TILT's can occur.
Falling in love is dependent upon a continuation of good luck and hormones. It isn't a linear occurrence that can be controlled and formed if done in a more correct way.
In one research study, female participants were required to smell stinky, dirty, sweaty men's t-shirts. They chose which sweaty scent they preferred and it proved that the females chose men who had immune systems that were most different from their own. This might even bolster Darwin's theory of Survival of the Fittest.
Falling in Love at a Coffee Shop
Are You In Love?
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You Might Be In Love If.....
- You think of your lover obsessively
- You drop everything when it's their number on caller I.D.
- You ignore your friends more to spend time with him/her.
- You find yourself doodling their name on scrap paper.
- You catch yourself smiling when you think about them.
- You have pet names for each other.
- Every sentence begins with: Well (insert S.O. name) said....(and you believe it all too!)
- Your heart rate increases when they enter the room.
- Your palms sweat when you are near them.
- If the S.O. reminds you of a parent.
- You constantly find yourself wondering what they are doing.
- You get jealous when you least expect it.
- You realize your thoughts aren't always rational.
- You apply superhuman qualities to your mate.
- You think your love is more sacred and special than all other relationships in history.
- You think you might throw yourself in front of a speeding train to save your S.O.
- You would give them all of your money and your trust.
I Would Do Anything for Love - Meatloaf
- Dr Helen Fisher - Biological Anthropologist - Home Page
Helen Fisher, PhD Biological Anthropologist, is a Research Professor and member of the Center for Human Evolution Studies in the Department of Anthropology, Rutgers University and Chief Scientific Advisor to the Internet dating site, Chemistry.com, a
The Dark Side of Love
With all good things, there always seems to be an evil counterpart. People who are rejected or jilted lovers tend to murder at the highest rates. Could the brain chemistry, altered, cause people to be temporarily insane causing them to be more likely to commit homicide against the object of their affection?
If love is like an addiction and it can't be fed, could that be the reason people seem to commit atrocious crimes of passion? Stories rooted in the earliest history were planted with seeds of jealous lovers who killed and died for love.
If you would do anything for love, you might want to have a chemical panel ordered at your physicians office, sometimes you shouldn't. A temporary imbalance might set you on the path of self destruction. If you find yourself obsessed with a love interest who does not return your affection it might be possible you need to feed your addiction with something else that decreases serotonin or increases dopamine.
Why love may or may not be returned is still an unsolved mystery. If the apple of your eye does not return your affection don't trip on it. It's just the way the ball bounces. There are millions of people looking for love and your connection is out there, waiting for you to enter the zone of it's proximity.
Keep it Real
"We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we are not alone." ~ Orson Welles