Sex is supposed to be enjoyable for both the Man & woman . Why don't so many fem

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   freecampingaussieposted 13 years ago

   Sex is supposed to be enjoyable for both the Man & woman . Why don't so many females enjoy it ?
   
   I was really surprised when I read a hub the other day & all the comments that indicated that a lot of females do not enjoy sex, talk about putting up with it ? I prefer it to shopping well , making love not just sex ,we were created to have a desire for it with a man so it is natural to enjoy it .
   (I can understand if someone had a bad experience being turned off.)
   Why is it

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   Right On Timeposted 13 years ago

   Maybe it is because men and women sometimes have different goals regarding sex. That's very general though, and there's the old stereotupe of men looking for lust and women having an emotional goal. Sometimes I think that's true but sometimes the problem is deeper.

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   Jarnposted 13 years ago

   Simple. Men need sex to feel loved. Women need to feel loved in order to have sex. Different goals are involved, meaning in order for sex to even occur, a lie must be told somewhere along the way.
   
   Not only that, but the female anatomy derives sexual pleasure in a different manner than do men. It's a bit like a diesel engine on a cold day. Takes a long time to prime and get up to speed, but by God it's in for the long haul. The problem is men are high performance engines by comparison. They shoot off the starting block and blow a valve before the woman's engine has even begun to idle. So, maybe it's that a woman's needs tend to be a bit more than most men are willing to provide. Just a thought.

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   Amber4posted 13 years ago

   It's not that women don't. It's that men think we have a freaking light switch that we can flip on. Men do not care for foreplay. They want to get to the finish line. Lol. But that's the best part right? Women want to be spontaneous and have fun having sex. But most women feel it's a chore or duty.

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   ssaulposted 13 years ago

   Its often thought that women are always ready to have sex since they don't have anything to arouse, so with that thinking as soon as a man is up he is all about, go. Some men are like gone in 60 seconds. However, because of this attitude some women fake orgasms just to get it over with. However, with that be said, women need to talk before, during and after sex, a man cannot read her mind, she has to know what she wants and tell the man in order for him to satisfy her fully.

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   jasper420posted 13 years ago

   i think the answer is differnt for every women if you ask they will all give you a slitly differnt answer because no one in themseleves are the same we all have our own likes and dislikes the same goes for reason

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   Rusty C. Adoreposted 13 years ago

   I think the answer is different depending on the individual woman, but if I had to give a general answer I would say that it all stems from a lack of communication. If a woman isn't comfortable telling her partner what she wants (or doesn't want) during sex then she isn't necessarily going to enjoy the outcome and might then associate sex with feeling unsatisfied or simply a duty she must perform.

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   glenn wallaceposted 13 years ago

   Virtually all women are capable of enjoying sex (depending on how you define it), but like other commentators have already said, women are much more sexually complex than men.
   
   Every woman is mentally, physically and emotionally wired for sex a little different. It can take a lot of time, communication and trust for a good partner to figure it all out.
   
   Odds are any woman who thinks she doesn't like sex just hasn't had the good fortune of finding the right partner yet.

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   tysandersposted 13 years ago

   I think it depends on the individuals and how well they know the woman's body. Women are also driven by emotion so the sex is much better with a man if you are in love with him or the emotions are shared during sex. A woman has to know what turns her on before she can communicate this to a man. With that being said a woman who knows her body has a better chance at having good sex than a woman who has little education as to how the woman's body works.

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    blondeyposted 13 years ago

    Some women are cold. And theyre not good at it and they even think it's ok for the man to cheat because of it!  Which I ...well not getting into that.
    
    Ok, well women (should) express what they want thou
    men should know- a bit of both I'm guessing.
    
    the main answer here is: SELFISH MEN.
    who should Not be tolerated.

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    KatieCohenposted 13 years ago

    I know exactly why.  A lot of those girls (not all) can't have an orgasm vaginally.  If they guy doesn't stimulate the right areas its just a lot of repetitive motion.

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    Singular Investorposted 13 years ago

    They actually prefer griping to groping and moaning to groaning  - and moaning and griping about men makes them feel superior (a quote from my new book entitled "How to Impress Women")

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    TTaylor87posted 13 years ago

    We're emotional creatures if we not getting what we want emotionally we won't feel connected ready or willing to relax and give in to our natural desires. I'm actually speaking from experience as well I can definitely enjoy sex but if something in my mind is in off-mode I don't want sex I may however just do it or "put up with it". I agree with the person who said Men need sex to feel love and Women need to feel loved in order to have sex. Because my boyfriends in the past if something they did or didn't do or even just something in my own life had me down and I decided I didn't want that physical connection they would begin to feel like [to me] they were pressuring for that connection and that only drains you even more emotionally applying more pressure. It can become a vicious cycle. Also most males can be "all about me". Very few want to please you for you... they want to please you more for their own ego trip ie cause they want to believe they can. [Men please note I did not say ALL men] Also the more pressure you put on females to reach the goal the less likely she'll get there if she's all freaked out about trying to get there. In short Less stress + More fun time = Greater sex

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    Elliott Thompsonposted 13 years ago

    The reason why so many females probably don't enjoy sex so much is because they are being sexed instead of being made love too.
           I'm a male and I think that sexual relations between man and woman is supposed to be pleasurable. This means that's it's is meant to be enjoyable, fun, and exhilarating. For those who don't understand this, allow me to put it like this, "It's supposed to be freak'in mind-blowing!" For both sexes, not just for the male.
           There are probably a lot of men who truly don't know how to make love to a woman, and if that's the case, then women will continue to not enjoy the satisfactions of, 'sensual intercourse'. Instead, they will continue to be sexed and never satisfied.
           Here's a bit of advice for all you unsatisfied women. Ladies, if you wish to enjoy the most intimacies of making love then you have to be bold enough to tell your mate what exactly it is that you desire from him. Don't be afraid of how he may take what you are saying. Remember, "It's not just about him and what he wants. It's about the two of you and what the both of you should want." If he doesn't understand that then he's not worth being with, because being with someone means satisfying them in every aspect. If I say that I love you then I must love you in every way, including in the bedroom or on the couch in the living-room. No matter where it's done, it's supposed to be sensual and pleasurable for you both.
           As I said, "Women, you have to speak up, because if don't you may never know what it's truly like to have a man inside of you making you feel crazily wild and hysterical in the throes of making passionate love." You know what you want and you should know how to voice it. Just be considerate when doing so. Men like to hear things like, "Ooh, baby, touch me right there! or, Yea, daddy, that's the spot, do it just like that!" The only thing that you're doing is letting him know what you want and how to do it the way you want. If he's listening then a little direction is going to lead you to a long road of pleasure.

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    Angel709posted 13 years ago

    I agree with most of the responses. And to the Elliot, yes, I agree, we must speak up.  HOOOWWWEVER...there are the stigmas and stereotypes that many women have not yet overcome.  Sex talk and speaking up has long been associated with the "bad girl", slut, etc.  Sex was known as our gift to the guy, and to think we should also enjoy it and have to speak up for it is a challenge many women will face until they get older and want more for themselves in all areas of life. Many have written off that it's too hard to get what they want, and so they sadly tolerate sex. In my opinion, that's something just short of a sex servant.
    
    I'm in my forties (celibate at the time) but I've spent enough time alone to know myself and all that I desire that goes beyond the bedroom.  Once sex enters the relationship (which is usually before a woman is emotionally fulfilled) we feel slighted/cheated and rarely are tapped into.  As many have said, we are emotional creatures.  If we aren't hyped and made love to (via communication through our ears FIRST) it is rare that we'll fully enjoy the bedroom later.  I've always said, a woman's true sex/orgasm is communication..get in her head and her legs will fly open. (sorry to be so blunt). 
    
    Also tips for the guy:  If you really want to help her enjoy sex, do not approach by your desires. Be present with her, make eye contact, start flirting ahead of time so no gaskets are blown as Jarn mentioned.  :-), we are looking to be romanced, blame it on harlequin and chic flicks, but if you watch the guys' behavior in the movies, their attentiveness, honesty, and openness is what most women truly seek....sex then becomes the dessert for us.

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    spyoftheworldposted 12 years ago

    It's all about love care and passion
    most men look to women in this process like sex machines they just have sex .
    give women love and make her feel happy then i think she will enjoy sex a lot

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    puddingicecreamposted 12 years ago

    Women are just as capable of deriving pleasure from sex. It's a matter of preferences. It's important for women to know what pleasures them, as well, but most women haven't found out or are too embarrassed to tell their partners what they want in sex.

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    ibbarkingmadposted 12 years ago

    The attentiveness of the man determines where the woman enjoys it or not. While women are not as motivated by sex as men, that does not mean they cannot enjoy it. At the risk of giving too much information I always make sure that my wife always enjoys herself when we spend time together in the Biblical manner. A man who focuses on his wife every time they have sex will find that she will enjoy the encounters more and more. On the flip side if the man just wants to enjoy himself and essentially treat the woman like a sex toy and you have a woman who is not satisfied and so does not like sex.

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    wanzulfikriposted 12 years ago

    Don't ask me, I am still virgin. Maybe I'll know about this fact soon enough.

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       HP Official Poetposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       Any update?

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