When dealing with hot-button issues (that can include, money, sex, in law conflict, healthy relationship boundaries etc) it's very important to express and meet the underlining relationship needs, along with clear, simple strategies for meeting these needs, that both partner's have at the time.
Criticisms (which can destroy marriages over time) are just inside-out and upside-down relationship needs that have been very poorly expressed or masked.
The anger, which is often fueling relationship conflict is secondary to the underling primary emotions of fear and loneliness in relation to our partner.
It's best to learn how to listen for and express the frustrated core-relationship needs and primary, tender emotions that underlie heated conflict. This enables transformation of the anger and fear into security and happiness.
When there are opposing or contradictory needs, these must be clarified and compromised upon when ever humanly possible. For example, new parents need to clarify roles and support-needs, secondary to emotional needs, and make sure to support each other and share the work equally, even if both partners are exhausted.
Relationships that succeed over the long haul are always lovingly and non-critically looking for mutual solutions, even when needed resources like time and money are scarce or when needs are truly contradictory.