I appreciate both the first two replies. They say a lot. We live through things in order to learn -- LEARN. We train our "faith" in realities. We learn that it is our own choices which bring us wherever we are. We THINK through the choices and make leaps of good sense.
That may not sound as romantic as jumping blindly into a relationship based on trivial attractions or feelings. Feelings are vital to a relationship; - and feelings should be able to survive the natural tests and challenges which come to any situation in which two different people are involved intimately.
When we've examined the relationship and know it can work, then we can give oneselves & partners all the passion & delight of every moment, rather than just that first fizz that happens when two people of reasonable attractiveness meet & then find they don't mesh.
We choose & create our own lives, be they emotional prisons or wondrous emotional palaces. (I have tried both & I'm here to tell you: the prison is a futile and hopeless habitat, no matter how much faith one brings to it!!!)
Taking responsibility for our present predicament, climbing into our own driver's seat & steering a better path is the way out. Embracing our own lives, realizing we did it so we can undo it, we can come back up and out of poorer choices.
I wish you a very much happier NOW and all to follow, Phoenix.