1.Remember that "Us & We" is more important than "I & Me".
Before you discuss an issue with your mate you have to do some serious introspective thinking. You have to know what it is you want. Ideally you want both people to be happy with the outcome. When you could "care less" about how your partner feels it may be a clue that you're not as "emotionally invested" in the relationship.
2. You have to be able to articulate your wants and needs in a (none offensive or rude manner). "Anger is the mask that hurt wears". People stop listening when others start yelling.
3. - There is no "right" or "wrong". There is only "agree" or "disagree". Whatever is bothering YOU may not bother their next mate. Ultimately we are all looking for someone who "agrees" with us.
4. Don't confuse "communication" with "action"!
Just because you aren't getting what you want does not mean you have not been heard or understood. The basis of communication is to "express" an idea and have it acknowledged/understood by the person you're speaking with. Communication is NOT an "ask and it shall be given" proposition.
5. Keep things in proper perspective.
If you have asked for what you want/need and your mate either doesn't have it to give or does not feel YOU are worth the effort to give it to.
Ask yourself, "Is this a deal breaker?" If it is, get out!
(People change when THEY want to)
Sticking around to nag, plead, or give ultimatums will only lead to frustration on your part and resentment on their part. If two people don't "agree" on something that is a "requirement" for one of them to be (happy) then they are with the "wrong person". It doesn't mean one of them is "right" and the other is "wrong".
If it's not a "deal breaker" learn to live without!
You don't negotiate love and affection (They're given freely)
You can't manufacture chemistry (It's either there or it's not)
When two people are emotionally invested in a relationship they will do their best to compromise whenever possible. However don't expect anyone to "become another person". Everyone is looking for someone who will love and "accept" them for who they are. "Don't make a mountain out of a molehill."