Would you give your partner a second chance if they cheated!?

1. 55

   Brett.Tesolposted 12 years ago

   Would you give your partner a second chance if they cheated!?
   
   This is a difficult question for many. Most would like to say NO! But, circumstances and life are very different to ideals. You may have been together for a long time, you could be deeply in love, there could be children involved etc etc.
   
   If you answer is NO WAY! Why do you feel this way?
   
   If your answer is YES/MAYBE, how would you personally handle the situation?

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2. 61

   BobbiRantposted 12 years ago

   No, because for me, that is a deal breaker.  I'd never, ever trust that person again.  I could never go back to normal after that. I'd always feel not good enough for that person and I think I don't need to be around anyone who made me feel not good about who I am. Good question.

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3. 69

   Bhanu.Jasposted 12 years ago

   Yes, because mistakes are made to be done and attimes one is not aware what he or she is doing is thus leading to spoil relationship.But the flow and excitement let that person go in that direction.As noone want to hurt anyone and that to being partner its impossible, So one should look in the eyes of his or her partner and give chance without keeping anything in heart or mind.Forgiveness is a big thing then punishing.
   
   Bhawana

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4. 60

   Mr-Yo LVposted 12 years ago

   My ex cheated on me before.  I forgave her and tried to pick up where we left off, but the thing is, I couldn't trust her anymore.  I find myself asking her the 5 W's more frequently than I did before she had cheated.
   
   In the end, we still broke up and went separate ways.  The truth is, if one person honestly loves you for who you are, they wouldn't cheat.

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5. 60

   nightwork4posted 12 years ago

   no i wouldn't. that's something i would never forgive my wife for.

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6. 81

   dashingscorpioposted 12 years ago

   Absolutely not! Cheating is not only about having sex with someone outside of the relationship. It's about lies, deception, and betrayal. When I love someone I'm passionate, affectionate, considerate, thoughtful, and loving. For my mate to cheat on me after displaying all of the above not just in the beginning of the relationship but throughout....etc I can't imagine what the purpose of a "second chance" would be for.
   
   I am who I am.
   If that was not enough the first time what is going to be different?
   "Fool me once: Shame on you! Fool me twice: Shame on ME!"
   
   "Life is a (personal) journey".
   Everyone gets to set up their own "deal breakers"
   Some people "choose" to stay with cheaters, liars, addicts, and abusers. For every circumstance you can imagine there is someone staying in a relationship. Our "deal breakers" don't have to match. There is no "right" or "wrong" there is only what is "right" for the particular individual. Oviously cheating was NOT a "deal breaker" for Hilary Clinton or Jackie Kennedy. (Both of whom had enough money to live weathly independent lives)If you're looking for reasons to stay it's because you don't want to leave.
   It's a mistake to leave if YOU really want to stay.
   I suspect some people end relationships because they don't want others to think of them as being a fool.
   It's probably wise for people in that boat to avoid sharing their problems with anyone. Friends & Family will always tell you to end a "toxic relationship".
   If you know you're not "going anywhere" than stop complaining.

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7. 60

   Iannurseposted 12 years ago

   90 percent of people will cheat... get over it and perserve the family. throwing away a family for something a small as sex is like burning down your house because a mouse got in... get rid of the mouse and plug the hole!

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8. 69

   puddingicecreamposted 12 years ago

   It depends. Usually if there are children involved, perhaps I would have a "domestic partnership" just to raise the kids. But if I were madly in love and my partner cheated, I would definitely not give them a second chance. I don't think I'm capable of loving him anymore because love involves trust. In addition, if he loves you, I don't think he would cheat on you in the first place so by giving him a second chance because you love him, you're accepting the fact that the love you give might not be returned.

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9. 64

   KateWestposted 12 years ago

   I would want to say no, but then there are different circumstances for different people and depending on the level of self-blame plus communication, you might be able to rebuild that trust. No situation is the same and only the two of you would be able to answer that in those precise moments.

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10. 82

    SpiffyDposted 12 years ago

    I lean towards "no," because I believe that if there are problems in a relationship, you can dissolve the relationship or work to help it. If it is really not possible to fix them, then end it. It's not always easy to end it coolly, but that's better that seeking "outside assistance" in the form of a lover. Cheating is not just about sex indeed. It really breaks trust and exposes the other partner to things other than a broken heart as well.
    
    Suppose one partner isn't very careful when having sex and the spouse/partner believe that they were faithful. That's a serious breach of trust. A cheater demonstrates disregard the relationship and the lives of others. It would be nice to look at the motive(s) behind the affair first before making that decision. Perhaps something could be salvaged, but the trust would be damaged permanently. Some cheaters want to be trusted wholly again or treated the same way as before, but that some understanding of what they did is required before a workable solution could be found.

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11. 0

    msorenssonposted 12 years ago

    It is a challenging question as, it is, at least for me, hypothetical. I do not know what I would do if I were placed in that situation. Not now anyway.
    
    The assumption in this question is that the partner made an indiscretion while he is in a committed relationship with you and is asking for forgiveness. This is the premise by which I would answer the question.
    
    Did he come to you and told you of the indiscretion or did you find out from someone else? It makes a world of difference.
    
    If he came to me and told me of it then the first question I would ask is "Do you wish to stay with me?"
    
    The second question is "Do you think you will be happier if you were free of me/our relationship?"
    
    To forgive, one must first blame. I have removed blame from my vocabulary so there is no need for forgiveness, on anything.
    
    I would hope that the person I chose to be with with respects me enough to tell me he is in love with someone else and therefore wants out, in which case, he is free to leave at any time.  I do not wish to limit the freedom of another by insisting that he stays against his will.
    
    There may be other factors involved as you said, children, parents, pressure from friends, and in this case you will have to consider but you will still have to do what is best for you.
    
    One happy person and one unhappy person do not make a relationship and it can be continued for the sake of appearances but I would ask myself why. This you will have to discuss wit your partner.
    
    On the other hand, if it did happen, there is a breakdown in communication somewhere and the indiscretion, is the result, not the cause.
    
    I am afraid my answer is limited but that is all I can think of at the moment.

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12. 60

    ReneeDC1979posted 11 years ago

    This is an easy question to answer Brett. Tesol!  My answer is No and Never! I say if they really loved me there is no need to cheat.  And if you feel the need to cheat, at least tell me first so I can decided whether or not I want to stay in that type of situation.  But, if your desire is to cheat then don't stay in a relationship.

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13. 62

    LoisRyan13903posted 10 years ago

    It depends on the situation.  If this was a one time thing yes.  There are many reason why the other would cheat.  I would look at the situation and maybe understand why he would cheat.  Maybe I would be ignoring his need and I might need to change.

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