I believe we are only "brutally honest" with people we don't care about. Those that we love we tend to find a way to be "tactfully honest". It is possible to use an "edit button" and still get your point across. Venting angrily or complaining rudely is usually done to make the "complainer" feel better.
What you are doing with your husband falls under what Dale Carnegie called, "How to Win Friends and Influence People" :-)