Definitely the first choice. I hate having to guide a grown woman through life. However, I've found that having a steady mate isn't really necessary to my survival. I cook, clean, raise my son by myself, I'm smart, capable, and I just don't see the point anymore. A girlfriend who has her own friends and agenda would be especially appealing, since I don't want or need to spend all my time with her.
emmy, most men do want the latter... but those men are usually timid themselves, and have low self confidence. it gives them a false sense of total control.