First and foremost, go deep deep inside and be honest with yourself. In what area of your relationship do you want, WANT, to be a better husband, and what is keeping you from saying YES to being a better husband.
Most of us, men and women, but especially men, have major disconnects from our heart, from our emotions, and so we are not as emotionally connected to our partners as we could be.
But becoming more emotionally connected means having to feel our wounds and our neediness. It is much more comfortable to remain emotionally distant and disconnected and then blame our partner for the distance in the relationship.
We bring a lot of "stuff" to a relationship, much of it not very helpful. Perhaps our model for a relationship is the model we saw growing up and we have never questioned just how healthy that model is. Instead we remain loyal to the model.
And instead of thinking in terms of right or wrong or good better best, simply hold yourself both accountable and responsible for the kind and quality of relationship you CHOOSE to live in.
And it's always helpful to ask the question: do I experience myself as precious, as lovable, as valuable just because? Do I experience my partner as precious, as lovable, as valuable just because? And if not, why not?
And what keeps me from making a commitment to my partner? Perhaps that is the road to being a better husband. Where am I committed in the relationship and where am I afraid to commit in the relationship?
And there will always be moments of disillusionment....The "better" we are, the more we are willing to risk experiencing the pain of relationships, but also the better we get at the healing work and the healthier and stronger the relationship grows.
And, of course, there is spirituality. Spirituality is a given for me and almost automatically grows out of a healthy relationship. I think the spirituality is more genuine when it grows out of the relationship in contrast to attempting to artificially implant "it." If we believe God is love, then when we choose to live in a loving relationship, we are going to experience God. And we will know, almost automatically, where God is calling us to become better in the relationship.
Well, I guess that is enough for now.
THANKS FOR THE QUESTION.