I agree with HappyHer. Take care of yourself first and foremost for you. Eat well, get your blood pumping a few times a week, feed your brain with interesting things, and find your foundation in God. No man who's worked a 10 hour shift wants to come home and hear nagging about the toddler until he goes to sleep.
I remember my mom making it a point to keep up with current events when my brother was young, and she'd shower, get dressed and put her makeup on at 9pm right before my dad got home. And never be super easy...make him work a little for ya! My parents have been married 28 years, and my in-laws 37 years and you'd think both sets were still on their honeymoon!
I found reading the book "The Power of a Praying Wife" really brought a great perspective to my marriage. Ignore the cheesy cover, the stuff inside is gold.