What to do when you are in a rocky relationship, have a kid in the middle of it?

1. 60

   kb240801posted 12 years ago

   What to do when you are in a rocky relationship, have a kid in the middle of it?
   
   The relationship was 2 years in and at this point very rocky.  As in on/off don't know what to do.   Pregnancy happened, baby was born and now 1 year later things seem to be not in sync. We have tried everything.  We lived together for about a year and a half (including pregnancy) Then she moved out because well she wanted out.  Now we are "back together " although most of the time at least for me it feels like its only for my daughter.  I love her and I guess it makes me insecure in a way about not being with the mom.  I bend over backwards for her and its not enough at times.

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2. 82

   dashingscorpioposted 12 years ago

   You don't have to live with or marry someone you have a child with in order to be a good parent. In fact if you are unhappy in your relationship you probably aren't able to be at your best with your child.
   
   Awhile back I wrote this hub which may give you additonal food for thought. Best of luck! http://dashingscorpio.hubpages.com/hub/ … et-Married

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3. 61

   rambansalposted 12 years ago

   Yes, you are right, you need to make a compromise for the sake of the child. After the child grows up to about 3/4 years, you both may take their own decisions. But in such a case the child works as a cement to join the two parents together. Just bear for some time, and the child will play magic in your relationship..

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4. 60

   brandasaurposted 12 years ago

   Dont stay in a relationship just for the sake of the child. So what if staying will make your family whole and complete if the kid's parents are not in good terms right? You deserve to be happy too. And to be able to become a good parent, you should be good to yourself first.

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5. 59

   juiwei2000posted 12 years ago

   Fact number one, if there is no kid involve, BREAK UP!!!!!!!!!!!!
   
   Fact number two, well, if there are kid is involved then it might be more complicated, however, sometime break up can be better for the kid, then been together

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6. 58

   Toyshika Eppsposted 12 years ago

   My parents stayed in the marriage for the sake of us. We had to witness the fights, disagreements, and the overall lack of "love" in the house. When I grew up, I thought love meant "fighting" having "disagreements" and the lack of love between two people. As a child growing up, we learn from our parents. As a child you don't realize how much you have honestly absorb and will carry with you. So when I got married and the relationship was a split image of my parents, I made the decision for all involved to change that. I got a divorce, my kids are totally fine, and have moved on. We both have met someone else, and for me personally it's no where near my parents relationship. We show love, we are nice and sweet, and there is no drama with us in front of the kids. I didn't want my kids growing up like me thinking that love was to be cold and distant. I didn't want to be in a relationship for my children. As a child, I went to bed MANY nights hoping my parents would leave each other, and find happiness elsewhere.
   
   Do what is best for all involved. You can't make her love you anymore than she chooses. It only lessens who you are when you are giving so much of yourself to someone who really doesn't want it. Teach your daughter what real love is about.
   
   Good Luck!

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