We are sociable creatures and alas we are loving creatures, and guess what else, we are just plain old sexual creatures. Our species walks around with smiles on their faces, much of the time, because we are friendly, loving, sexual.
We are friendly first.
"Hey how ya doin?" This comes from our days when we sported clubs, sharpened bones, battle axes and sharpened sticks.
Once we felt no harm --- duh....by being friendly back, then we could drop our defensiveness and start calling that new person a "bud" or a name that seemed to assume little, but hope for more, and meant no harm.
Then your head collects smiling faces
We meet "familiar" people
It's funny. The magic of collecting familiar faces. On the cops shows, a "perp" is asked: "Have you ever seen this person before?" And you know what? We have not. Our head can look at other heads and tell whether we have seen it before! Amazing.
Ironically, we can't tell friends from potential lovers.
It gets complicated like honey pouring over our shoulders in a backyard barbeque. Whoah. Does she want me? Oh we're just friends. Is it possible that I am taking her love for granted, or am I just making her love up in my head. That guy has been my great friend for ages, and every night, I fantasize about him! It gets really complicated when familiarity slips into friendship, slips into constant companion, slips into fantasy, slips into touching and feeling, slips into sex full blown and naming kids.
There is a BRIDGE
Yeah, lots of people get all confused about how hard it is to get on the otherside by using the companionship bridge. Some want to be cool. Some want it hot. Some want vocabulary that sits on the polite side. Some want lingo that seems to come from bed. All of our style, all of our body language. All of our showing our heart's intent. All of our nondisclosure. They all come from the fact that it is hard to just go up and declare:
"I think I love you. If you are shocked. I risk our friendship. If you think you love me, then it's OK to go ahead and say so. I won't faint, because I am hoping you do. And if all of this was wrong for me to do, I will still say HI to you at parties."
The wonderful thing about all of this mystery is that if you keep a happy disposition you can get through most of it with a smile on your face.